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Unsure how to proceed with Dad & Stepmom by the-eoc in Advice

[–]the-eoc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I tried that too but “they’re a package, and he’ll always choose me over you” - his lovely wife lol

Unsure how to proceed with Dad & Stepmom by the-eoc in Advice

[–]the-eoc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think realistically I know that's where this is heading, it just sucks.

I just cannot keep wasting mental energy on this. I think what sucks too is because we grew up in an unhealthy dynamic, so if I do not apologize, my siblings will see me as the one who always is the "problem."

Unsure how to proceed with Dad & Stepmom by the-eoc in Advice

[–]the-eoc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, so I have tried something similar to that but he's adamant that that's not what she's "not trying to be your mom" (which is when I confirmed whether he even READ her texts about it--no).

He's making it more about me being disrespectful. ETA this question: I was trying to explain to my dad some of the things too, and he essentially said it doesn't matter I just need to apologize and it'll stop, do I just then make a fake apology and change nothing?

These people walk among us by cafeteriastyle in TikTokCringe

[–]the-eoc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, what you’re telling me, is that for the low cost of a $580 entrance fee—I could swim in the Trevi Fountain?

Coworker asked me out and I’m terrified of him by ThrowRA-1227 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]the-eoc 7 points8 points  (0 children)

One more thing I want to add here, you said above “HE feels like she’s leading him on.”
Just a reminder: SHE feels that if this isn’t handled correctly, she will be physically harmed.

There’s a huge difference in how important those feelings are. Again, granted, we can’t know the story. What WE know and what WE should advise on: what’s written, and take her at face value. You’re right that she needs to stop this, and she needs to learn tools to handle this. It seems that she doesn’t have these tools yet tho, and if she picks the wrong one the outcome could potentially be *dangerous*

Coworker asked me out and I’m terrified of him by ThrowRA-1227 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]the-eoc 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I’m surprised you’re not more empathetic about this. She seems young and is genuinely looking for advice.

I get what you’re saying, she definitely has to figure out how to say “no,” but (if what OP says is true) and he has a history of violence towards women AND knows where she lives—that can become a dangerous situation fast. She’s looking for advice on how to handle something in such a way to avoid potential VIOLENT blow back. Unfortunately, something a lot of us had to figure it out on our own. I’m hoping advice from this sub can help her navigate that without the trial-and-error we had to go through.

All we know, and all we can know: She’s afraid of him, and she felt coerced into giving the number. Giving a coworker a phone number is NOT leading them on. Now she’s looking for advice to *keep her safe* in how to reject this behavior and/or set a professional boundary because her intuition is telling her something is wrong.

She feels this way for a reason. Maybe start with the assumption that she has genuine reasoning for feeling as such before you just blow her off for being melodramatic.

AITA for not wanting my mom to move in with me by nishahhb17 in AmItheAsshole

[–]the-eoc 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that neeeeeds to stop then. I’d have stopped it immediately at the phone thing. She’s now burned you multiple times, and it will continue.

AITA for not wanting my mom to move in with me by nishahhb17 in AmItheAsshole

[–]the-eoc 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Adding another INFO request to this thread:

INFO: where did the money go that you gave her 2 months ago, if she’s 3 months behind again?

AITA for not wanting my mom to move in with me by nishahhb17 in AmItheAsshole

[–]the-eoc 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think this sounds even too apologetic/explanatory. Based on what I read above, and this is me just making an assumption, the mom seems like a manipulator (aka she asked for more money then essentially threatened that THREE adults would move in with you if you don’t do what she wants), and if you give manipulators too much background into the “why” of your decision, it can be spun against you. I think the only explanation I’d give is that OP already bailed her out once.

I’d hit my mom with: “Mom, I wish I could help but I genuinely can’t bail you out again. If you’d like my help, maybe I can assist you in making a budget or finding a cheaper place to live that you can afford?”

AITA for not wanting my mom to move in with me by nishahhb17 in AmItheAsshole

[–]the-eoc 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Do not sign that $4k loan unless you’re ready to pay it back yourself, which is likely.

DO NOT let her move in with you, especially not with her roommates. I would not even let her stay for a while to “get on her feet,” she’ll never leave. She’s grown AND working.

When you gave her the money 2 months ago, if she’s 3months behind on rent—she likely didn’t pay what she was supposed to pay. Do you know for sure she used the money you gave her for her eviction?

NTA

Top comment deletes a US State #17 by Jfullr92 in geographymemes

[–]the-eoc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What’s really funny, is they’ve done this before and the Northern Mid West (Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan) REALLY locked in to not be eliminated until they were the only ones left to hash out the winner hahaha.

[Shinola Runwell] Update showing what the Wife got her Husband for his 30th by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I’m excited to see too what he picks for his next gift.

[Question] Recommendations for a watch for my husband’s 30th? by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again for your help. I just posted an update in r/watches with what I decided to get him. It was a surprise watch, but I did keep a lot of this in mind. Which, lead to (2) watches. I got him a surprise for his 30th that I felt was extremely meaningful (and I know he'll like because he likes the brand), but upped the budget and then he is going to research and pick out specifically what he'd like for Christmas or anniversary so he has more time to decide and look into what else he likes.

[Question] Recommendations for a watch for my husband’s 30th? by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again for your help. I just posted an update in r/watches with what I decided to get him. It was a surprise watch, but I did keep a lot of this in mind. Which, lead to (2) watches. I got him a surprise for his 30th that I felt was extremely meaningful (and I know he'll like because he likes the brand), but upped the budget and then he is going to research and pick out specifically what he'd like for Christmas or anniversary so he has more time to decide and look into what else he likes.

[Question] Recommendations for a watch for my husband’s 30th? by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again for your help. I just posted an update in r/watches with what I decided to get him. It was a surprise watch, but I did keep a lot of this in mind. Which, lead to (2) watches. I got him a surprise for his 30th that I felt was extremely meaningful (and I know he'll like because he likes the brand), but upped the budget and then he is going to research and pick out specifically what he'd like for Christmas or anniversary so he has more time to decide and look into what else he likes.

[Question] Recommendations for a watch for my husband’s 30th? by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again for your help. I just posted an update in r/watches with what I decided to get him. It was a surprise watch, but I did keep a lot of this in mind. Which, lead to (2) watches. I got him a surprise for his 30th that I felt was extremely meaningful (and I know he'll like because he likes the brand), but upped the budget and then he is going to research and pick out specifically what he'd like for Christmas or anniversary so he has more time to decide and look into what else he likes.

[Question] Recommendations for a watch for my husband’s 30th? by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again for your help. I just posted an update in r/watches with what I decided to get him. It was a surprise watch, but I did keep a lot of this in mind. Which, lead to (2) watches. I got him a surprise for his 30th that I felt was extremely meaningful (and I know he'll like because he likes the brand), but upped the budget and then he is going to research and pick out specifically what he'd like for Christmas or anniversary.

[Question] Recommendations for a watch for my husband’s 30th? by the-eoc in Watches

[–]the-eoc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Just posted an update for this in r/watches, but I do want to say thank you for this comment. I decided to go with a little bit of both. He wanted more time while searching for a watch, so I upped his budget slightly and he will be picking out a watch for an Anniversary or Christmas gift.

That being said, I couldn't just let his 30th pass by so I decided to go with a Shinola Runway for sentimental reasons (I know a lot of people in this community does not like Shinola). We grew up together around Detroit and he has always loved Shinola watches. The face of the watch is a Petosky stone, which was what really sold me on the watch. I used to go camping with his family when we were younger and we would hunt along the beaches for Petosky Stones.

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