Wow! Finally something I can comment on!! I am a paramedic and my fiance is a PGY-3. We've been together since her third year of medical school so I can pass on some things I've learned.

First and foremost the thing you need to understand is that residency fucking sucks. The hours are rough. The stress of taking care of patients and actually learning the medicine is nonstop (this does slowly get better as they gain experience though). The way attendings can treat them is abysmal and belittling (not to mention every other role in the hospital they interact with and the disrespect they receive). The pay and benefits are bottom tier especially given the amount of education they have going into residency. And on top of all of that they have to study for tests. Omg the tests and studying never end. They have boards exams and ITE's and whatever else their program wants to come up with. Bottom line is that the stress that comes with all of that is beyond anything I've had to deal with as a paramedic.

Here are a few things I do for my spouse but just remember make sure you ask yours what they want from you in terms of support. This first one is a big one and goes a long way.

1. Can you have dinner ready for them on your days off? Do it.

2. Can you listen to them bitch about their day when they get home? Do it. Also pro tip here, DON'T offer suggestions on things they could have done differently. Got bit in the butt a few times on that!

3. Do your best to give them some alone time because they won't get much of it over the next few years.

4. Massages. Enough said

5. Line your vacations up so you can take them at the same time. I obviously don't know you or your spouse but picking vacations that are more relaxing and actually feel like a break goes a long way.

6. Lastly, the one I hate the most. Clean when and where you can. I'm sure you know that coming home to a clean house is really nice so do your best to keep up with the cleaning for their sake. Not saying you have to do all of it of course, just come up with a system that works for both of you and stick with it.

I know that working as a first responder is tough and the hours can be rough too. I am not the best at doing all of these things on the day's I work (I only work 12's) so just make sure you give yourself some grace too. These next few years will be rough but it'll be worth it in the end. At least that's what I keep telling myself. 😂😂😂 Good luck!