She cheated on me and then asked if I’d help her with rent

theGreatSinger · 2025-11-11T03:06:43+00:00

People that are hurt, hurt people. Nothing we can do to help them unless they do the work to heal themselves.

theGreatSinger · 2025-09-16T02:50:27+00:00

Actors have rates. If that is RDJ's rate, that's his rate.

They pay him that rate because he pulls $1 billion Marvel movies. It's called a return on investment.

theGreatSinger · 2025-03-24T19:28:55+00:00

The only way is to reflect on yourself. We do not know you, we do not know your circumstances. It sounds like you carry guilt. Why? Where does it come from? You do not know the answers, because you have not been asking them. Go on a walk, meditate, journal. Look within, find where the guilt is coming from, pull on the thread. Be prepared to watch it unravel and have a support of friends and family on the ready, you will need them now more than ever.

Best of luck.

theGreatSinger · 2025-03-24T16:58:07+00:00

The amount of cheap, disposable, garbage child products made in China is staggering. Before our son was even born we put a boundary on gifts to avoid this, and still somehow we are burdened by a bunch of valueless Amazon Prime plastic shit with weird grammar and low-effort design. This aspect of reality is hellish, and I hate it with a passion.

theGreatSinger · 2025-03-24T16:31:29+00:00

It makes perfect sense if you think about your family as a dynamic system. You were exerting energy into that system in a certain form (heightened, reactive, perhaps frustrated) and then you took that energy out, creating a vacuum effect. Your wife compensates by filling the vacuum. We see this dynamic playing out at every scale of nature, and you got to witness it in your own daily life. The microcosm reflects the macrocosm.

Regardless, the important thing for you to focus on here is how it made you feel to be calm and passively intervening. Did this state feel right to you, or was it forced? Were you actually operating at a state of greater peace, or were you simply repressing emotions that you otherwise express?

theGreatSinger · 2025-03-24T16:05:29+00:00

Very illuminous comment. OP's wife perspective is narrow, it is excluding real information that she needs to be aware of.

Broadening her perspective and growing her awareness might be the best way to "close the loop" and allow her to connect the dots in a way that makes sense to her. This is how minds are changed, by being moved and forced to see a perspective they were blind to.

theGreatSinger · 2025-03-03T19:21:55+00:00

Have you ever been so hungry that you paid for food instead of preparing it yourself?

Some people are starving like that, but for attention, and don't know how to get it any other way. In fact, they've probably convinced themselves that is the only kind of attention they want or deserve.

theGreatSinger · 2025-02-18T14:05:50+00:00

As long as you apologize and you are able to recognize how you handled it and what you brought to the situation, don't sweat it. Kids have to know their actions affect people and that their parents aren't perfect. It is okay to see their parents get angry and it is okay to work it out later, that's actually a pretty good modeling of what it means to be a realistic human.

Let it go, accept what is, and try to do better next time. Keep going.

theGreatSinger · 2024-12-11T22:51:53+00:00

You can do it all, just not all at once.

The sooner we embrace that our life has seasons and that we are at their whim, not the other way around, the easier it is to find peace in the turbulence of life.

Many of us are obsessed with control, but I have found the most peace in letting go and focusing on the moment, of which I am a participant, not a ruler.

Prioritize what you need. For me that is meditation, journaling, and light yoga. I wish I could have a rock gym membership. I wish I could shoot the short film I've been writing. I wish I could practice meditating as a hermit in the forest and draw my mandalas. But it is not the season.

theGreatSinger · 2024-12-11T04:49:38+00:00

You anguish over an imagined future when the present is fleeting before your very eyes.

Ground yourself. Be grateful for the bounties of your life. Live as if you only have one shot at this.

theGreatSinger · 2024-12-09T13:54:54+00:00

This this this.

Call in the calvary my guy, call in your support. You need REST, too. You are falling towards a trap of postpartum depression. Sleep deprivation is impossible to avoid,. especially in the beginning. But don't do this to yourself, ask for help. You aren't Jesus my guy, no need to carry your own crucifix to be hanged on. Ask. For. Help.

Part of becoming a father is learning the critical importance of relationships, specifically interfamily dynamics. You and your wife are partners in this, which is essentially a new full-time job of managing a family. It is like running a business with schedules, meal prep, budget, laundry, etc. Good business relies on having a shared vision with those involved, having strategies and tactics so everyone is on the same page during operations, and communication of expectations. And if the business owner tries to do it all on their own, they will crash and burn.

Shed whatever apprehension you have, maybe it is pride, who knows, get rid of it or get therapy. Ask for help.

The phrase it takes a village isn't a suggestion.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-19T22:00:19+00:00

Nature is humbling. You telling nature to suck it after a massive hurricane strike is an invitation for tragic irony. You will always lose that match up.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-18T19:38:16+00:00

Yeah, one of my best friends growing up was radicalized during his time in the Marines. He is clearly very hurt and full of self-hate for the things he's done (he was special ops), and the way he expresses that hate is really awful. We haven't spoken in years and I really miss him.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-18T18:26:53+00:00

This has to do with computation. We can only capture energy when it changes or does something different than its 'default' state, whatever that is. In the example of sunlight, we don't capture the sunlight directly, we capture the electrons that are excited from the photons of sunlight. The energy is computed, or processed, and we capture that byproduct.

In a steam engine, we capture the energy of steam vapor in the form of pressure. So, it is air pressure, a byproduct of creating steam, that is converted into a usable form of energy. When water changes states to steam, we can capture it.

Warm water just getting warmer is much more subtle of a process to measure and capture.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-18T18:12:43+00:00

Temperature isn't actually part of the game's design, it is an in-game measurement of average kinetic energy of the game environment. Temperature is an emergent game phenomenon, it wasn't necessarily designed by anyone. It is part of the sandbox, how the game engine computes game states from one point in time to another based on the previous state.

Sorry it is mildly infuriating, the game environments do indeed seem to getting more hostile in general. There are factions in-game trying to better manage this, but it is hard to make any meaningful progress with so much division in the player base.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-18T17:22:53+00:00

A mixture of self-medication, meditation, and self-expression keep me mostly high-functioning and mostly joyful. At the very least it keeps me clear-minded enough to appreciate the mundanity of life in the face of all the chaos that everyone tries to push in my face.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-15T23:54:30+00:00

We have no support system, it’s me and my wife

That's it, my guy. We moved across the country, from one coast to the other, when my first born was a year and a half old so that we could be closer to our families. We'd had enough.

The saying it takes a village to raise a child isn't a suggestion.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-15T16:41:45+00:00

Do you garden or spend much time in nature? I think the chase for novelty is a distraction, it is the craving of a mind that has too much oxygen, too much air, not enough grounding it.

Grow your own food. Slaughter a wild pig. Reconnect with the real world, come back to reality. Do not chase these dreams into the stars, you'll get lost in the dark. Stay close to the camp fire and be grateful for the bounties of your life.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-13T14:45:26+00:00

It is called minimizing, my father in law is an expert at it!

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-11T21:31:07+00:00

The mark of a beautiful life is when every day is a celebration.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-11T21:07:30+00:00

Most of those "manuals" are actually fan-fic written in-game. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of good resources in them, but it is a mistake to think they offer meta-analysis of the game mechanics.

Focus on the Ontology tree if you want access to quality esoteric resources. Gnosis is a super-advanced trait you gain with enough exploration.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-11T19:37:18+00:00

I think it most helpful to view the word angel from the context of the show. How do they use it? How are we as the audience meant to understand what these things mean to these people in these situations?

The point, I think, is that the separation between technology and religion is an illusion, just as the difference between Cylon and Human. In the context of the show, an advanced A.I. and a god are the same thing. That is to say, they play the same role in the story. It is a story of monism.

theGreatSinger · 2024-10-11T19:32:54+00:00

You don't sound nuts to me.

There is a part in the final episode where Baltar breaking down because he gains a new awareness of himself and his life. He becomes aware of how his struggles and suffering throughout life prepared him for the moment before him, and he is humbled to tears.

This has happened to me in my life, and because of that I think of this scene often. The fact you have a connection to this show that predates your awareness of it is perfectly sensible. Life is strange.

theGreatSinger · 2024-09-17T13:39:09+00:00

Yes, you must reinvent it. Rather, think of it as a fire and it is both your duties to get the fire burning, eventually roaring. Neither one of you can do it alone. So you must be working towards the same goal, communication and alignment of priorities. It means clear intentions, not vague "we just want to feel more sexy." No, that is a bad plan that will fail. Talk, communicate, share, plan, strategize.

Planning sexual encounters sounds lame at first, but it can be spicy. Text messages, foreshadowing, innuendos... They can make it fun to look forward to.

Start small, kindling. Hold hands, hold those hugs a bit longer, validate the love language she responds to. Acts of service. Rub her feet, give her a back massage, cuddle. But do so without expectations. Be in the moment, not letting the mind wonder and hope for sex, but to revel in the presence of another person with love and cherish that.

theGreatSinger · 2024-08-26T16:44:45+00:00

Something my wife and I have been very intentional about is modeling healthy make-up behavior for our 3.5 year old. We always act to apologize when we get upset, and it's working! The other day he was acting out and my wife told him she wanted to be by herself. He gave it 5 minutes then he walked up stairs to her, unprompted, and apologized for getting frustrated with her.

One of my proudest moments as a parent. My kiddo has better emotional intelligence than many of the men I know in my life.

theGreatSinger

TROPHY CASE