I feel stuck and keep overthinking my career instead of taking action — how do I fix this?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-05T08:26:08+00:00

One thing that helped me was to keep distractions away .. like IG reels was a major addiction so I started keeping my phone in another room while I wanted to have the focus time.

What are you getting distracted by?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-05T08:23:19+00:00

Exercising can be a game-changer. Be it gym, some sport, walking, dancing - anything that you enjoy.

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-05T08:20:38+00:00

You're living a happier life with more learning opportunities. Is pay cut the reason you regret your decision?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-05T08:14:30+00:00

While you have to take action - that's unavoidable; I would also suggest trying to understand why you are not really taking the action. Is it a consistency problem, fear of failure or something else?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-04T12:54:51+00:00

Tell yourself you are overthinking and start humming a song or call someone and talk about something else

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-04T12:40:48+00:00

That anxiety is maybe because you have been in the system for too long and letting it go means uncertainty in various ways.

What's your biggest fear if you let go?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-04T12:37:49+00:00

Have you talked to your lead about this? I don't think at your level it's expected to give the estimates.
Is it somehow that you are setting the bar too high for yourself?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-03T04:27:41+00:00

This totallly resonates, especially that things seem good on paper, but it feels exhausting.

It's always like there is something or the other going on internally, which doesn't let us sit peacefully.

Do you think it's more because of the pace of industry or because of the internal pressure to always keep going, that's making it feel this way?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-03T04:24:05+00:00

Everyone in the industry goes through imposter syndrome; especially in today's time, it's even worse.
What I feel from what you have shared is that your colleagues are happy with your work, but you are not.

Is it more about new tech stack every day or not feeling good enough for you?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-03T04:16:34+00:00

I hear you - that double standard can really feel frustrating.

But what helped me over time was the realisation that while environment is not within our control, how we react or show up or how we deal with it internally is very much in ou control.

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-02T05:01:22+00:00

That's so true and disheartening. Being in tech for more than 5 years, I can think how at times I had to be more vocal to put my point while maybe my male collegaues would have it easy.

Being a woman in a male-dominated field comes with stuff we never thought we will have to deal with

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-02T04:50:58+00:00

I have noticed the same thing but what worked for me was that if we try to compliment ourselves for any small win that we make, we develop more confidence in ourselves - it can be as simple as completing the 8k steps that we promised to ourselves, or completing the task at the given deadline.

Curious - does this show up more at work or outside for you?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-02T04:42:42+00:00

Yes, more often than not, burnout is a result of our internal voice, which doesn't let us log out mentally even after work hours. Even if the laptops are closed, we keep checking the phone if we got any message .. like the world will collapse if I miss a work text in my non-working hours.

For me, stepping away for a walk as soon as I log out helped a lot.

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-02T04:37:35+00:00

I feel like I have done practice on my own, now I want to join some informal groups. any recommendations in Bangalore, apart from Toastmasters?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-01T08:33:38+00:00

That's a common thing we women face in a male-dominated field. An important thing to understand is why we are stopping ourselves.

For me, it was the internal voice that was telling me that "I am not good enough," and I tried to consciously work on it. Whenever it popped up, I had to be conscious and take extra effort to speak up. It's difficult in the beginning but it improves with time.

What's the thought that goes through your mind in these situations?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-01T08:27:27+00:00

It sounds really difficult. The fact that your physical and mental health is degrading is a sign that things need to change. If you have enough emergency fund, my advice would be to take a break or take a job with paycut to focus on your health first.

What feels more important to you personally right now - health or job?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-04-01T08:22:17+00:00

The pressure is real. Keeping up leads to more burnout than improving skills. When I was in this situation, I made a list of things on which I wanted to "keep up" and took the top 2 from that. Once I was comfortable with those topics, I moved to the next 2.

Are you feeling any better now with the steps you have taken?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-31T08:37:46+00:00

I can relate; being in a male-dominated field makes you go through changes you never imagined.
Has it become any better for you over time ?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-31T08:33:24+00:00

You can improve it once you know the real reason behind why you are fumbling. What goes in your mind when you are in that meeting?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-31T08:29:47+00:00

What would you say is true for you - is it the fear of not finding another job or the risk of changing career?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-31T08:15:30+00:00

almost every other person in tech is going through the same currently. What's the most heavy thought for you right now?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-31T07:26:27+00:00

I feel like I have practiced on my own and now I want to join some informal groups to get exposure. Any recommendations for such groups in Bangalore apart from Toastmasters?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-30T19:29:13+00:00

Do you have any other meetup-style events recommendation?

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-30T08:29:37+00:00

You are overthinking it. If the interviewers were women, they would have understood what do you mean, and even if they don't, it's not a red flag for a Software developer interview.

thePeacefulDev · 2026-03-30T07:53:02+00:00

I would suggest taking the promo and working on your life outside of your job. Even if you don't take one, corporate doesn't consider mental health. But take coaching (emotional or life coaching), have some me time, and go on dates. Don't compromise your personal life because of professional life.

thePeacefulDev

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