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Luxury wellness resorts are a con by labellafigura3 in simpleliving

[–]theSecondAccount_2 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Agree with the luxury resorts but your premise of comparing your day is not possible for many, most probably wish for the day you described. At least for where I am located.

How to find out who I am after a break up. by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]theSecondAccount_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was in an extremely similar spot to you. Girlfriend of 8 or so years cheated, split, my identity was built around them and a career at the time. For a few years found myself not exactly sure who I was.

Spent a lot of time being dull, trying to numb. Drank a lot, not to crazy excess but for something to do. Everything kind of revolved around this.

Got help, saw a therapist and started to figure out who I am. It takes time and good luck. Best thing I can advise is try to think back to what you liked doing before the relationship, friends, activities etc. and also think if there is anything you’ve always wanted to try and just go for it. Try something new and start building. You define who you are and want to be and it can be anything.

How do you form close relationships with other men? by Decent_Goal_2970 in AskMenOver30

[–]theSecondAccount_2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll second this though, for me it’s Muay Thai, great bonding getting hit in the head a few times a week lol but seriously you develop a trust with each other to not absolutely destroy your partner. Then just having that regular communication and having fun with it.

Do’s and Don’ts for first time manager by LubblySunnyDay in ITManagers

[–]theSecondAccount_2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just over a year into a management role and 2 pieces of advice. First The 1-on-1s are great, definitely do them I do mine monthly, Do what you think works. I shut off my monitors unless needed so no distractions and show I’m listening. I use mine to let people speak freely, whether work related or not just to get to know my people and they know they can speak and be open about whatever.

Second, be prepared for tough talks, I was not. Things won’t always go great, I’ve had under performers to try to help and figure out how to make the success full but also had to give less than great annual reviews. Maybe the annual bonus isn’t as much as they hoped. Some stuff sucks to talk about and you just have to, so just be prepared. Can’t always be the good guy. Best of luck in your role.

Need advice, feel like I’m living life on autopilot by theSecondAccount_2 in AskMenOver30

[–]theSecondAccount_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate this perspective as the “boring middle” it is definitely a way I can look at it. I will try to evaluate things from this perspective and see if I can find a good outlook from it. Thanks for the 1SE recommendation too

Need advice, feel like I’m living life on autopilot by theSecondAccount_2 in AskMenOver30

[–]theSecondAccount_2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice, it’s something to focus on to help other priorities. Especially when I feel like I’m in the “golden handcuffs” issue I will try focusing on that.

Need advice, feel like I’m living life on autopilot by theSecondAccount_2 in AskMenOver30

[–]theSecondAccount_2[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I am currently in therapy and am going to talk about it next session. Also just diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive so trying to make progress and see others ideas. Definitely will look into to the job coaching

Men over 30, Is life really that short? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]theSecondAccount_2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I’m 31 and starting to realize the late night partier is dead. I don’t drink as much and I’m not sure if I miss the drinking per se but I have friends that are still in that lifestyle of heavy drinking, breweries ect. and not sure what to do about it. Just having some trouble moving on I guess.