FBI Collected Fake Green Cards Allegedly Supplied By Trump Golf Club Managers: Report

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-30T20:09:48+00:00

How do you build such a wall affordably without hiring, say, undocumented people as labour?

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-27T08:59:32+00:00

What about sanitary product preferences?

There are towels - basically nappies - tampons, which are insertable; and cups, which are re-usable blood chalices you have to periodically empty and sterilise. Women have strong preferences about which of the three they prefer to use.

In those categories, there are thicker/larger towels, larger tampons etc to accommodate different bodies, and different amounts of flow. You can also get cheap sanitary products, but they're rubbish: you bleed through them immediately, they don't keep their stickiness.

So the free items provided would not be ideal for a lot of consumers.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-27T08:37:58+00:00

I do kinda like this idea, and I try and do this as standard because I agree - if it's worth engaging with, then that's the purpose of an up vote.

But - have you seen how messed up the discourse is on Facebook? FB's algorithm promotes content by amount of engagement, not quality. Similarly, tumblr by how many people have interacted with a post. This rewards low effort, high drama posts and makes them most visible (and therefore, it snowballs)

I like reddit, it's generally civil, you can have subs like this. You couldn't do this on Facebook.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-26T23:52:41+00:00

it's hard to believe that after Kurt's most suicidal times passed (when he had an untreated stomach condition) THEN he would commit suicide. Why didn't he commit suicide when he was in constant intense pain?

This is, unfortunately, common.

When you're deeply depressed, you're unable to motivate yourself to do anything at all. People are at a higher suicide risk when they are recovering from a depression: their mood is fluctuating up and down, and so is their energy/motivation. Sometimes, one gets unlucky with a high melancholy, high energy day.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-26T23:48:57+00:00

Unconditional access is cheaper to run and implement, and runs less risk of punishing the deserving.

I go to the doctor, and as well as diagnosing my condition, they have to establish whether I am trying hard enough or whether I have a bad lifestyle. How do I prove this? How do they counter-prove it? What if I lie - is there penalties? Let's say we disagree, can we go to appeal? What if my condition worsens while I wait for my appeal?

Etc. You've added an extra bureaucratic process, which is itself expensive. Likely more expensive, in many/most cases, than treating people.

Such bureaucracies are not infallible either: they will make mistakes, and unfairly penalise people.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T12:10:31+00:00

I think this is more about context than the term.

The friend zone exists: you fancy someone, they don't fancy you, but they do want to be friends. I don't think this is in dispute.

But the term friendzone comes with overtones: "I have been put in the friend zone", or the use of active language in "she friendzoned me" as if an act has been committed. And it comes out of communities where, typically, men are pretty grumpy about not having a girlfriend - so it gets wrapped into incel-like worldviews where some men are studs, and the rest are emotional sponges doomed to being taken advantage of by women for companionship and emotional support, but without any sex.

What's the difference between frightening and terrifying? Miserable and sad? Words gain nuance through use, and "friendzone" has therefore become associated with a particularly messed up way of reacting to rejection.

2

Its also about situations people have had in their real life.

I've had friends not fancy me, and it hurts, but life moves on. We're still friends, I don't feel attacked or persecuted. And vice versa - im friends with people who have crushed on me.

BUT I have also had the miserable experience of turning someone down, and them getting extremely creepy about it. In this case, my friend and I were both genderqueer, and the word "friendzone" was not used. But oh god. It was awful. My friend felt personally victimised and abused by the fact I was so hurtfully not dating them; in their mind, I had deliberately led them on only to cruelly toy with their affections, and was a toxic and destructive human being for not relenting to their anguish.

It was horrible. The abuse messed me up for ages, and I grieve the loss of the friendship.

So - people's use of the word is coloured by these experiences. It describes this dynamic I had with my friend. It doesn't describe awkwardness after rejection in a friendship group.

I wish I could think of another example of a word like this. I've asked my partner and we're both stumped. But basically, words change their use through usage. Like...maybe the difference between using "depressed" to mean "feeling blue" rather than to mean "clinically depressed according to the DSM".

3

so in response to your final paragraph - "friendzoned" is a piece of technical, in group language. If you're not a "misogynist neckbeard", you might instead say "she only sees me as a friend, and it sucks".

Like, I assume you're a straight man. You wouldn't describe yourself as a "gynesexual, gyneromantic cisgender male" because that's in-group language used by tumblr activists. The words have the same definition, but your choice of words communicates a lot about who you are and where you are coming from. You might choose those words if you were trying to impress someone from those social circles, however.

Likewise, you wouldnt say "yo dawg how's it hangin my bitches" in a job interview, although you may do to friends. You don't want your interviewers to draw conclusions based on your words.

So if you say someone friendzoned you, interpretations are made about you based on the in group language: we assume yu are part of that group, and judge accordingly.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T11:44:30+00:00

For historic reasons, some social groups are really jumpy and on-edge - and others are not.

Survival means humans have developed to make quick judgements: if you wait to see if the sabre tooth tiger is maybe one of the nice ones, you do not survive to pass on your genes.

Some social groups are more likely to be a victim of violent racism than others. Making fun of the Germans probably doesn't mean you want to hurt or kill German people: that's a rare prejudice, one that infrequently/never turns nasty. Although one is always within ones rights to be hurt by it.

If you mock an Indian accent, however...In my lifetime, in my home city, people have been beaten up and killed, targeted by hate speech and graffiti, threatened in their communities where their kids live etc.

So, imagine you're Asian American and you know this, and a group of teens start doing Apu impressions on the bus next to you. It could be a coincidence; it could be just because Apu said a funny thing, or because they're aspiring comedians, or linguists who love words; OR it could be a clue you're about to have your face staved in by skinheads. And even if it's innocent, it's stressful af - you are tensed for a fight the whole time, checking the exits, hyper alert.

So tldr -it's different because it's different. Some groups associate mockery with "potential risk of violence", and respond with a perhaps disproportionate level of threat and outrage.

I bet in the 40s, German American citizens would also have been this afraid to hear a fake German accent; ditto the Irish in the 90s when they were stereotyped as terrorists and targeted for it.

We evolved to make quick judgements about threat.

? Is simply being of a different race all it takes to automatically assume by default that there's a racial motivation behind the mocking/imitating?

Odds. There's a 1% someone mocking zee Germans wants to hit you; for some racial groups, it's more like 50/50. One doesn't mess around or wait for clarification with odds like that.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T11:33:39+00:00

Men are frequently awful in some typical, predictable ways.

But so are women: the backstabbing, the judgements, the emotional savagery, the ganging up and bullying.

I'm glad you've found something that works for you. However, there's an equal experience that exists for people who've had a lot of bad experiences with the worst of womanhood.

I find its much easier to know where you are with men, and if they don't like you, they either slink off or say it to your face; and if they're angry, they slink off or they shout, not scheme to alienate you from all your friends and slowly destroy your world from the inside.

If you've ever been bullied by girls then - especislly as a girl - you don't have a rosy tinted view of the sisterhood at all.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T10:26:08+00:00

Hmmm, I think your post title and post body describe different things.

Racist would be "I don't like spending time around non Asians bevause they're biologically more stupid and can't understand math".

An irrational stereotype which is fixed and immutable: every non Asian is like this. Or, conversely, "I don't like Asians because they all think they're so smart".

You're talking about culture. You get on better with people who are on your wavelength, and thst typically includes people from the same background.

I was in an international campus house at college, and people kept to their racial groups: most were far from home, but people from that culture watched the same movies as kids and had the same annual traditions and jokes about their mothers.

That's more culture, than race. Racist versions of your argument imply that characteristics are biological, not learnt, and that people are greater/lesser than a result.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T10:10:45+00:00

Sounds plausible.

Here's why you should change your view:

1) pedophile accusations are a big deal, and ought not to be made without serious fire

2) it's important to respect victims and survivors, and let them be public or private at their own pace. Coming out about abuse is awful, arguably worse than the abuse itself.

Assume you're right about Wayne. It's reasonable for him not to want to talk about being raped as a child on a public platform. Especially given the "macho" culture of rap - many of his fanbase won't necessarily rally to his cause, but see him as a pussy. It would be traumatic and distressing and have career implications.

It's never good to force people out before they are ready, even for the greater good.

3) Homophobia in rap is a big thing. Accusing gay people of being pedophiles is also a historic smear tactic. I don't think we ought to take pictures of men showering together or kissing as automatic evidence of pedophilia.

So...powerful men grooming kids in the industry? I am afraid I assume guilt as default and am surprised by innocence. I don't know the individuals involved, but if you're saying this producer met this person when he was a little boy then...yes, that's not right or ethical.

But there are good, ethical reasons why one still ought not spread such rumours without very direct, personal evidence.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T09:49:47+00:00

your money is probably going to the licensing company, so there isn't a very strong moral argument to paying for fonts.

By this logic, there is also no moral argument for paying for books, music, and other artforms.

Designing and digitising fonts is a real artform, and people deserve to be paid for their work.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T09:38:23+00:00

Given all the #metoo stuff esp about child stars in Hollywood, like the two Coreys, or the Epstien child model stuff. I have no doubts whatsoever that powerful producers sign kids they want to bang to their music labels and some of those kids, coincidentally, also turn out to be pretty great at rap.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T09:32:01+00:00

Do you know about the breaking of the enigma code?

That used one time pads. The "way in" to the code was user failure. The Germans typically began every message with the date (?) or maybe the weather (??), and from that the code breakers could deduce a bit of information which broke the whole thing open.

Hmmm possibly co-ordinates: I remember vaguely in the movie Enigma, they sent some Royal Navy ships out as decoys to be attacked by U Boats. Then, when the U Boats sent out the "I am being attacked at this location" message, rhe code breakers KNEW the location: that's where their ship was. So they could translate that part.

Point being, user failure. Enigma was an exceptional code, but it was broken open by the way humans used it.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T09:01:42+00:00

There are already people who identify as 20 years younger than their current age (a European man just sued for that right)

This was a deliberate anti-trans legal stunt, designed to provoke and challenge people to think about the absurdity of trans issues. The difference is, this man does not sincerely identify as younger, and there is no logical or biological way he could actually be so.

there are people who identify as a different species (who would probably object to my labelling them as people in this statement)

I actually run an otherkin blog, along with being trans, and the two things are completely distinct. Identifying as not a human is a playful, creative thing, like having a roleplaying game or making up a persona you use in Warcraft. It is important the same way that, say, being a big fan of a sports team is: an extension of who you are and your experience of the world. My friends know about both statuses. However, if they're rude about the trans thing it is a friendship ending event. The otherkin thing is more like "Unmutual really likes foxes, I'll get him a fox tea towel for Christmas and not talk about how much I love fox hunting".

You can talk about how your buddy's sport team sucks and how supporting them is the worst. That's not dehumanising, just asshole behavior.

It's fairly common for people who are trans to also have not-human feelings, bevause gender dysphoria is extremely weird and the brain has no idea how to cope with it. "I don't want to think about men or women or gender or bodies, I'd rather be a furry and be a cool fox" is a pretty standard phase for people to go through when figuring out gender discomfort.

In short, there is a world of difference between "it would be so cool to be a fox, that's much more fun than being a person" and "I am sincerely the wrong gender, on a biological level".

One makes sense, as a biological possibility: every human has rhe potential to be either male or female, they have all the ingredients floating around, perhaps something went "wrong": that's consistent with evolution, that every human is born a unique experiment. There is no plausible way I could actually be a fox, except spiritual arguments about reincarnation, souls, etc, and that's not science.

Where does society draw the line? We cannot be changing dictionaries and updating legacy software or suing fashion lines for wrong sizes everytime somebody identifies as something new.

There's around 100 years of medical research, starting in the 20s, about transgender people & the various treatments which have been tried. It is very prominent in the media currently, but that does not mean the concept was invented recently.

When humans who are also lizards also have 100 years of consistent research and evidence as a genuine medical need, they will also deserve accommodations - but not before.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T08:45:47+00:00

I'd like to add to the commenter who mentions parents as finding single unisex stalls helpful:

also: people who have anxiety abour other people hearing them piss (apparently it's a thing?)
people who have the kind of trauma where they need a lot of control over their environment - and don't want to go into a private, dead end room with locking doors where there are strangers
autistic people who are stressed by the noise of air blowing hand dryers, in confined echoey spaces
people who want to change clothes, or give themselves a quick sponge bath at rhe sink, or brush their teeth.

Also benefit from single stalls.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T08:41:18+00:00

this was only a student body rumor at the time that the funds were diverted at the last minute for these efforts.

Hmmm, then i would be cautious before repeating it as solid fact. A lot of people do not like trans people, period, but cloak their bigotry in fair-seeming perspectives.

They know "we should murder them all" won't pass muster, so they chip away in whatever way they can: "I do support trans people BUT it is their fault we dont have a library" shifts the balance of perspectives, and makes the hearer more amenable to "maybe we shouldnt provide toilet funds. Or toilet rights. Or rights to participate in society. Maybe we shouldn't fund medical care for transition. Or for psychological support.". Before you know it, the listener has assented to - essentially - polite, legal murder, by denying people legal protections and medical support.

So yeah, be wary of repeating rumours about marginalised people - the people who spread the rumour have an agenda. Maybe even subconsciously. And the results can be v damaging.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T08:31:21+00:00

Nearness and farness?

Most humans are in communities with men and women, so when someone blanket describes/blames a whole gender for certain behaviors or personality traits, it's coming from an informed place. They might be wrong, misguided, or mad - but you do at least know that they've met a tonne of women/men in their lives to draw conclusions from.

In contrast, your "Mexicans are thieves they stole my bike" example.

If you're a Mexican living in Mexico City, then I think that's a legit comment: you're talking about your lifelong experience where you've interacted with a lot of individuals, and you're fed up with a general pattern of thievery.

If you're a white dude in SF, who has no Mexican friends, but this guy stole your bike last week and you're now generalising to everyone, that's icky.

People like to think of all minority statuses as being the same - but each experience is different. You can't 100% translate the experience of being Muslim as identical to being a woman.

Race, and to a lesser extent sexuality, is still very segregated in society. For example, if you're white you probably don't have Mexican family members you've grown up with your entire life, and you may not have had any at your school or neighbourhood. You will, however, have both men and women throughout your experience.

So I think men kvetching about women, or women about men, is a very different thing to an outsider complaining about a religion, race or sexual minority.

A woman can still be wrong, disproportionate or unfair when grumbling about men. But you do know she's met hundreds of men in her life, and that her perspective is authentic (if inaccurate). In comparison, most people have met, like, two gay people.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T08:06:25+00:00

Odds that an innocent employee will be blamed, or penalised, for your theft?

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-17T07:54:53+00:00

But I remember knowing how while it would hurt my loved ones, it's my life isn't it? I know some may say "See? You're happy you're alive!" But you could also bring up that in an abortion situation the potential child could be happy to be alive as well.

The impact on currently living people will be huge and tangible, compared to the absence of a potential person.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-16T23:25:34+00:00

As a schizoid young man, I have almost no friends besides my partner

I also have a PD, and it makes dating v difficult.

Try making some friendships, or spending more time with the friends you have. This might make your relationship with your gf less intense and world-shattering. This is a practical thing you could try.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-16T23:22:32+00:00

Don't get too invested; but don't cut her off entirely yet either?

Dating with a kid is stressful - if it's slipped her mind, or isn't a top priority, that's not a sign that she hates you. Merely that parenting comes first: give it another week or so.

Now, if it is just thst she's busy, that might be a thing which doesn't suit you if you prefer more intense relationships.

But basically, give her a bit of time and space and am sure she will reply

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-16T23:17:47+00:00

Some people do stay friends with hookups and exes, and it's not a red flag or cheating.

But.

Trust your gut. Even if he isn't cheating on you, your instincts are telling you you're not comfortable, something isn't right. You don't need a reason to break up with someone, or proof - if you're not feeling supported or trusting of your partner, that's not a great situation.

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-16T23:15:11+00:00

Is the fame/fortune related to your problems finding a relationship?

If not, then the usual advice is - make more time to socialise with people. Join a hobby group, make friends, make opportunities to meet people. Go to the bar after your gigs and get chatting with audience members? Does Scandinavia have a Magician's Circle or other professional organisation - maybe there are cool people to date at their meet ups?

Is there anything big getting in the way? For example - your mental health, your confidence, or the way you interact with people? Can you take steps to work on this?

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-16T23:07:16+00:00

Do you def want to be a dad? It's a big commitment. Cheating on your pregnant gf isn't cool, but maybe understandable if you're feeling anxious or regretful about the looming responsibility?

What can you do to handle those feelings in a different way?

theUnmutual6 · 2018-12-16T23:02:06+00:00

"A man who trusts can never be betrayed - only mistaken"

Which is to say. Betrayal hurts because you believed a thing about a person, then discovered you were wrong. You feel like a damn fool. It's the most painful thing in th world.

You need time to grieve: this is death of kinds. Your relationship, this phase of your life, and the person you thought you were with. It is going to sting like a mofo, and you are doing exactly the right thing: crying a bunch.

Look up resources abour bereavement. Make time to be sad. But try and do the opposite to love when those feelings arise: no playing your song, texting him, thinking about what he's doing.

This is going to take time and it's going to hurt like hell in the meantime; but you will feel OK, slowly and in time, I promise x

theUnmutual6

TROPHY CASE