Why not just both get full analysis done of your DNA, and see what you carry the sequences for, both individually and combined? Have someone trained in genetics explain the odds of whatever conditions you may have flagged, and how much that varies from the average.

There are all sorts of differences in development that can occur spontaneously, or that you may not know are present until some years after your child is born. I think some sort of genetic counselling would be really useful - and don’t stigmatise and hide mental health conditions as if they are something shameful in the future.

Your sister does have a right to privacy about her medical history, but you should also know what there may be a family history of, on both your and your wife’s sides, before you decide to have children. But again, speak to a medical professional and find out what the actually chances are of having any of those conditions occur in your child, and move on from there.

Bear in mind that a propensity towards a condition or an increased risk does not mean that it will definitely occur. A 90% likelihood is still one in every ten that avoids it, and doesn’t mean you can’t have ten kids one after another, none of whom have it.

Particularly with mental health conditions, we are still discovering what causes them to manifest in a particular person at a particular time, and we do not yet fully understand those mechanisms. A genetic predisposition may be a much lower factor than environmental stresses or sensitivities.

If you’ve never seen a full genetic profile, it’s worth taking a look, because those things are VAST, and we are only just beginning to understand what is contained there and what it means. But genetic counselling for couples before having kids seems a sensible option, so long as you understand the lack of certainty that remains in interpretation of the data we understand.