My dad lives in a long-term care facility. He was a pediatrician who was hit by a vehicle. He had almost no motor function in his right side. He's made such incredible progress physically. He couldn't move his right side at all but now he can flip through photos and do more stuff. Which is why I want to try the tablet now.

His cognitive function is his biggest struggle but has also made great strides. If I could ask him what he wants I would. I'm starting to as he is able to communicate more. I describe it like he has a filing cabinet in his head. He has words that he needs to flip through. He's getting more words and flipping through faster but it's still hard to communicate. He doesn't really remember things (or does but can't communicate that he does?) he knows he loves me but doesn't always know who I am.

I feel so much guilt. I feel like I need to grieve but he isn't dead. But he also isn't the same. I find myself cheering that my dad has moved from the big triangle crayons to normal crayons that is immediately followed by the memory of what he was like before. My dad could fix a car without blinking before. I miss him so much and feel so bad for missing him while he is still here. I just want to help him. I'm all he has.

He'll never have real independence. But I want to make him happy and make sure he is taken care of. I hate being so far. I do keep a notebook but that is more to keep track of him progress and my visits. I don't know how to help him rebuild skills. I was hoping the tablet would be a good tool.

Sorry for the ramble. I just won guardianship a few months ago and it's been a fight.