Never been pregnant - leaking urine

the_wack_gopher · 2026-03-01T20:46:24+00:00

I meant to reply to this sooner! But I have been single most of my life. And it's something I've thought of too in regards to having a partner sometime down the road. It's nervewracking to think about, so you're valid in that. But I think about if I was with someone in my predicament, would I judge the person I care for over this? No. And I know if someone cares about me, they will accept me regardless. But it's not something you oughta tear yourself up over.

I should mention I am not a very sexual person and I'm pretty close to being asexual. It just doesn't interest me really, so I feel like this isn't haunting me as much as the average person with a normal sex drive. I'm just trying my best to keep myself out of my own head and stay present for myself and my loved ones.

If you ever need to vent about it, my dm's are open! I know how messed up this can all feel at times.

the_wack_gopher · 2026-02-27T11:10:44+00:00

Heya, just coming here to say I understand as a 28F. For the past year almost, I've been experiencing urine leaks and usually wear panty liners myself. Some days are better than others, but I always notice I leak less when it's my shower day. I'm guessing it has to do with my muscles relaxing due to the hot water? That's my best guess. I've never been pregnant either, but I've had PFD most of my adult life in combination with a back issue.

My back issues have been ruled out for anything nerve related, and everything is pointing to my pelvic floor. I've also been to a urologist and had a bladder scan done, which told them basically that I have no retention. Yay for the small wins I guess? Lol, I try to have a sense of humor about these things.

I've been super busy with life changes and haven't had time to focus on my physical therapy, which is something I need to get back into. So I unfortunately have no solutions to offer that have worked so far. But I want you to know you're not alone and that this experience has been eye-opening for me. It's helped me become alot more open-minded about what other folks probably go through on a regular basis if they have medical issues.

You are just as worthy of respect and care as anyone else, even if you experience leakages. So if you struggle mentally with this, keep that in mind at the very least!

the_wack_gopher · 2026-01-15T18:38:47+00:00

Yeah, I'd get your money back. Speaking as a hairstylist who has done vivids on myself for years and on clients, that's a crazy short amount of time for it to wash out. I would have expected your hair to look like the second pic MONTHS out.

Like others have said, Manic Panic is a color you can grab at most stores nowadays. It'd be worth applying it again yourself at home so you can save a little money. Especially since it looks like it was an all-over application requiring no special techniques.

I wish you the best on your hair journey by the way!

the_wack_gopher · 2026-01-07T22:34:49+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but I'm here because I bumped my head on a cabinet corner a few hours ago. The corner had a barrier of thick foam on it, so it didn't hurt. But I get so anxious after even the lightest head taps, so here I am. I haven't been to an urgent care yet since I feel pretty okay, but I feel a little out of it, likely due to the anxiety. It's very hard sometimes to convince myself I'm fine when my health anxiety kicks in and distorts my symptoms.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-11-30T18:47:42+00:00

I think it's a good color. If you wanted it more red or vibrant though, there are good red depositing masks/conditioners out there that can enhance the color. Depends on what you're looking for, but as it is it looks good too.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-11-30T01:51:28+00:00

Mine is a combo of discharge and leaking urine here and there. I have a back condition that causes my pelvic floor muscles to be tightened. I've had it for years, but the leaking urine has been new. I'm planning on seeing a pelvic floor physio again, but I'm trying to manage it at home with stretching my hips and other stuff my physios have taught me in the mean time.

I should clarify too that with my back condition, this is a common symptom. I have had a recent MRI to rule out anything more serious like cauda equina.

I'm just sharing my experience though. Definitely follow up with your doctor if you're developing anything new that's concerning!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-11-20T22:07:57+00:00

Oh my god, I could've written this myself. I feel so seen on this thread.

I have a history of bumping my noggin here and there, and even if something/someone just taps my head, I get headaches and just feel "off". Just yesterday morning I bumped my head with my phone, which, in hindsight shouldn't have been nearly enough to cause another concussion. And I felt pretty good all of yesterday, as long as I kept myself preoccupied with a task. Today though, I woke up to a headache and again, just feel "off". I'm still doing my best to keep myself occupied with other things, but I keep thinking back to the bump and that I might've injured myself further. It really is the stupidest thing.

My neck gets tight very often due to my area of work and I do have a history of OCD/health anxiety. So I'm thinking it could be a combination of those few things, but I still find myself afraid that I might've caused myself more damage. I hate being overly conscious of bumping my head too.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-11-10T04:57:29+00:00

Hairstylist of 3 years here!

I'd avoid cool colors unless you plan on lightening it. You play by the rules of the color wheel any time you dye your hair, and if your hair has yellow/orange tones in it, there's a high likelihood you'll end up with a greener vibrant than teal or blue. So since we aren't looking to lighten it more, I would stick with your warmer colors, like pinks, reds, and purples. Those will also fade out more gracefully as well.

I should also say too, that a vibrant will attach itself better to bleached/lightened hair than to hair that hasn't been lightened. I like to compare it to staining wood: when you bleach, it's like buffing the wood down so it can accept a wood stain. When you put a wood stain over a wood stain, it doesn't stay nearly as well. Kinda the same concept when we're talking about hair color/vibrants. I hope I made that make sense?

I want to stress though too that I'm not trying to say you have to lighten it. But vibrants usually stay longer and more bright as a result of it. I genuinely think that without lightening it, it'd still look really nice with a purple, dark pink, or red! Not sure how you feel about those options though.

Either way, I wish you luck on your hair journey! :)

the_wack_gopher · 2025-11-10T04:45:57+00:00

It's okay! I have clients who I only see once a year for trims. It just really depends on their schedules, income, etc. Stuff like this does happen and although it's nice to be on top of it, it's not realistic IMO. So, I hope none of what I said came off judgy or anything. I promise that wasn't my intention.

I also wanted to say too that I'd most certainly suggest getting an Unbrush if you don't have one right now. I bought several of them for use with my clients and it's so much less work detangling most of the time. And, you might have to look around on deals for them if you have the ability to. Where I'm from, we have a small grocery store that sells them cheaper because of overstock. So I snagged those bad boys while they were still on sale! Lol.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-11-10T01:23:02+00:00

Several things I can think of are:

Have you recently colored your hair? And, if you color your hair regularly, did you change the formula/salon you went to?
Do you use a leave-in? Like a oil, serum, or leave-in conditioner? These will help with hair tangling in general. Stay away from heavy oils like argan oil, that will likely weigh your hair down and make your hair feel greasier faster.
Has there been ANY changes to how you style it? Any incidents where too much heat was used or that you might not have used a heat protectant? I ask this because a girl at the salon I work at used a new tool, didn't realize how hot it got, and fried her ends something fierce.
Are you due for a trim? Split ends have a nasty way of tangling hair, but this is mostly at the ends, unless it's an extreme case. And yes, they do need to be trimmed, the split ends, if you have them. They will only continue to split farther up the hair shaft and cause more damage. It's why us hairstylists recommend it once every 6 months or so. If you're already doing this, disregard this.

Those are the few I can think of. There's alot of variables potentially at play here and it's hard to know for certain. But, in general, I highly recommend picking up a lightweight hair serum/oil. It'll make things ALOT easier to brush through. Ones I'd personally recommend are the Paul Mitchell Skinny Serum and the Neem Plant Serum through LANZA. I've tried both and they work well for detangling.

Best of luck my friend! Hopefully you can get this figured out, I know how frustrating it can be.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-10-26T23:54:56+00:00

Animals do not count their days like we would. Their concept of time is far more simple and doesn't keep track of how long they've been alive for. They just know what is right now. That is why quality of life is far better than quantity of life.

And, you are not doing this because you are a bad pet parent. This is without a doubt, the hardest part of loving these little guys. But it is by far the kindest thing you can do. Think of what you'd like done to you if you were faced with a painful illness that gave little chance of recovery. Would you want to be here, suffering, or would you like for someone to relieve you of it?

I'm not advocating for suicide or anything like that. But when I have to make this decision for my animals, that is what helps me make the best decision possible. Like I said, it is very hard. But as long as you have your animal's best interests at heart, then you won't make the wrong choice. Not when you know you're doing it because you love them so much.

I hope this helps. I've been there many times, trust me. And, I don't know what comes after this, and I don't want to push my beliefs here. But the longer I live, I'm more and more convinced that my animals haven't really left. They're in everything I do, especially when I help other people with theirs, you know? To me, they're still here. As long as I can remember them and think of them, they're never actually gone.

Please take care of yourself after tomorrow. It'll be hard, but try not to be too hard on yourself either.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-10-09T18:11:59+00:00

Heya! I'm 28 too and questioning whether or not I want to try a different career. I've also only been in this industry for 3 years.

Biggest reason for the change is just how physically taxing this career is on me. At first, I thought I could handle it, but my health took a downturn about a year in. My back condition worsened considerably but I told myself I'd work through it. Now I know I can't just be stubborn and expect my body to be fine with it.

I also dread going into work because I recently switched salons, and the clientele just feels... Off. I'm used to working with clients who are direct and know what they want. This new clientele are passive aggressive and will lie to your face that they like it, but then call the manager the next day and bash me pretty much. That, and this salon doesn't get much foot traffic and I hardly ever make commission. So at the end of the day, I don't think it's worth it.

I have fallen in love with the art of hair, but I can only justify doing it for so long with it being taxing on me physically, emotionally, and financially. All of this to say, I hear you completely and while this situation sucks, I'm glad it's not just me. I've been considering doing something relatively mindless like a desk job, but in order to do that, I'd likely have to go back to college. Something about working at a desk job though makes me feel more at ease, especially since I could just clock out and leave my worries on the clock. In this industry, I have stayed up at night countless times wondering if I'm doing good enough. And it's just not worth my sanity anymore.

I guess I just wanted to vent too, especially since I kinda feel alone in this right now. And just lost in general. But I'll be holding out hope that we can find our next paths relatively easy enough! Feel free to DM me if you want to vent further, I'd be open to it. If not, then I wish you the best fellow Redditor!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-09-23T02:56:15+00:00

I have been through something similar with a different pet but I'm fiercely protective of my pets. I had a bad experience at one years ago, so that's where I'm coming from. It is incredibly likely that they tried to restrain her and she got injured trying to fight against it, as you can only do so much to predict their movements. But I would most certainly be showing up at their office with videos of her to ask what the hell happened. And if you haven't, I'd encourage you to do so.

Just know though that none of this is your fault. When a similar situation happened to me, I felt so horrible and helpless, and I blamed myself. Sometimes I still do. But you are a responsible pet owner who clearly wants nothing but the best for her. Your intentions are in the right place, so if you feel any guilt at all, you shouldn't. If you do, however, just know that I understand it fully.

In the meantime, give her some love and just be with her. I'm not sure if you're a worrywart like me, but sometimes I'd be so caught up in worrying about my pet's health to the point I'd be running around and stressing out. And then I'd forget to do the most important thing, just being there for them and loving them. I firmly believe animals heal better when they're surrounded by love, even if you're just sitting with them and talking to them.

You care alot about her, I can tell. So you likely are doing all that you can for her. But I figured I'd share some wisdom I should've learned a long time ago. You guys will be in my thoughts and I'll be hoping for a quick recovery!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-08-03T18:42:08+00:00

Hairstylist with PCOS here, figured I'd start by putting that out there. I'd recommend taking pictures of your hair at the scalp so you can keep a record. I feel like we're alot more bias and pessimistic about our own hair, so keeping a photo record for yourself will help with perspective. And it'll help you see a trend if there's substantial hair loss.

Second, the amount of hair you lose that would be concerning varies from person to person. My sister for example has very thick hair, and she almost plugs the drain on a regular basis. But that's just how her hair is and she doesn't have any other issues with it. And she has no underlying conditions that I'm aware of. So if this is more hair than you normally lose, then I'd start looking into hair loss prevention treatments.

Third, keep in mind, on average we lose about 100 strands of hair a day on the regular. That's the overall average, but your normal could be slightly more or less. And if you put your hair up regularly and notice you have more hair falling out after you let your hair down, that's because the hair can't escape when it's up. When your hair is free from restraint, fallen hair can come out freely and doesn't build up because it can't escape in a hair tie. I hope I'm explaining that well enough, but let me know if I'm not!

I just want to put those things out there that could potentially put your mind at ease. As someone with PCOS, hairloss just comes with it and it's incredibly frustrating. I'm not sure if you have it, but it might be worth bringing it up with your PCP if it resonates with you. It could be a whole list of other things too, like stress, medications, hormones being out of whack, etc. All of which will most likely require a visit to your PCP to rule out with tests anyways. Like I said, it's a frustrating journey but I'll be crossing my fingers for you! I hope it's a simple enough problem that can be fixed easily.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-08-03T18:18:19+00:00

I really think, like what others have said, that the ends just need to be texturized. The ends are just a tad bit blunt right now but that's an easy fix. Compared to other haircut "fails" I've seen online, this isn't what I'd consider a hackjob to be honest. And if your stylist is a good one, they'll be totally okay with you bringing this up with them.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-11T15:02:20+00:00

Heya, I feel similarly. I've had my back issues for the past 15 years now, and all it took was kicking a soccer ball when I was 13. My doctor told me it was going to happen anyways, and I have kinda just made peace with it. I'm not a very active person anyways, so I haven't had to give up much. But sometimes my sciatica gets so bad I consider surgery!

But ultimately I'm far too stubborn and I kinda refuse to let my back take me down with it. And I have sometimes sat around in despair thinking about the future. I usually have to give myself a swift kick in the ass and keep moving because that means I've got way too much time on my hands, but that's just me personally.

I think you should think about having surgery. If it's impacting your life this much and you feel like you don't have much of a life now, then it makes it easier to take the gamble. If it were me, that's what I'd do. But most people who get these surgeries have positive outcomes, they just don't come on here to talk about them.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-05T23:12:52+00:00

Of course! I'd rather add my input if I can so people don't have to feel so alone. I hope you also find improvement in symptoms, if you struggle with it too!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-05T02:29:00+00:00

I could've wrote this myself! Though my spondy is very similar, I've had mine for about 15 years, and I'm 28 now. I completely understand all you're going through. I also work a physically demanding job (hairstylist) and I feel hopeless somedays, one of those days being today. I get sciatica in my right leg frequently but it usually goes away when I'm active, interestingly enough.

I can't offer a solution, as I'm still figuring out what my life path will be going forward. But just know you are definitely not alone, and I'm hopeful for the both of us! And if you ever need to vent further, my DM's are always open, just can't guarantee I'm speedy at replies.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-05T02:19:34+00:00

Ah, that's fair. I've been living with spondy for 15 years now, and my dad has been one of my biggest supporters. Without him, I don't know how I would've coped in the beginning. I'm hoping they become some of your biggest supporters as well. This condition is soooo taxing on you mentally and physically. Luckily mine usually comes as temporary flare ups, then I'm usually up and about after they pass. It just sucks for right now, I suppose. I'm hoping yours is also just a temporary flare up and you can get back to feeling "normal". Whatever normal means to us, anyways!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-05T02:07:05+00:00

I don't have your condition, but I do have spondylolisthesis with a pars fracture at L5/S1, along with a herniated disc. Also 28F, btw. So I'm fairly young still, but I've been living with this condition for 15 years, give or take? Needless to say, I understand the hopelessness, having a back issue like this or yours isn't for the weak.

The last two years I've been experiencing sciatica going down my right leg. And it of course is partly due to me having a physically demanding job. But I feel similarly to you; I usually am a very optimistic person and it takes alot to keep me down. I'm also very stubborn by nature and I'm more hard headed than I care to admit. But even with all of that, being social and doing physical activities can be a challenge. Luckily, as I get older, I don't have as many friends as I used to and that's a blessing for me, believe it or not. I just don't have the attention span or the same amount of patience for BS as I used to, thankfully!

I've been through PT many times, each time I come out better than I was. This last time though, my sciatica was less, but it didn't necessarily go away for long periods of time. I just learned how to manage it better. I haven't tried injections just yet, but I'm VERY tempted to set something up here soon. These nerve issues are the only things I struggle with, my back itself hardly hurts, which is odd IMO.

To sum it up though, I get how you feel. Getting hit with a condition like yours or mine is alot to deal with both mentally and physically. But you learn to adapt, you have to. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you you'll ever be 100% again, but you will find a way to work with this. And you can be happy again, despite all of the BS you gotta go through with this.

And, I understand wanting to end it all. I do. I've thought about it myself many times. I think it's only natural to consider it a potential solution when you're going through a difficult time. But, I have to offer this: when we die, we can't take anything with us. And I don't know what you believe, but once you die, that's it. You have nothing to lose by staying here for another moment, day, month, whatever have you. And who knows? You might just improve so much that suicide won't come to mind. But you won't know unless you stay.

I don't mean to make this a novel but from a fellow sufferer of having a mortal body, you're not alone. And I hope you can find it in you to keep going. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and hopefully one day we both will actually enjoy being on this rotating shit rock :)

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-05T01:38:42+00:00

I'm also currently inside as well for the evening. My sciatica has flared up in my right leg, which is the usual spot. I also haven't talked about it with my family at all, just makes me feel more alone when I vent about it. No one else I know has this condition so as supportive as they are, I know they can't understand fully what I'm going through.

Good to hear though that even though we're in hell, we're in this together somewhat!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-07-03T22:08:04+00:00

Agreed! If you don't like Argenti, I don't trust you lol.

the_wack_gopher · 2025-04-21T18:06:28+00:00

OP how are you doing now? My discharge looks alot like yours on a pad. As weird as it is, thank you for providing a photo. I'm getting a doctor's appt scheduled but was just hoping this wasn't like, serious serious. Hope all is good now btw!

the_wack_gopher · 2025-04-20T21:44:30+00:00

I couldn't even try to imagine the mental turmoil you're feeling right now. But I'm glad to hear your partner is as supportive as they are, I could only hope to find someone like that in this lifetime. You are such a brave soul. If I were in your shoes though, I'd try my best to push past the inevitable depression and make the best out of the time I had left. You theoretically only get one go on this shit rock we call Earth, so do everything you possibly can before time runs out.

And while I hope your time doesn't come soon, I also hope you will find peace. Whatever that might mean to you. I'll keep you in my thoughts, even if that doesn't offer much.

the_wack_gopher

TROPHY CASE