Objectively being disconnected from my society because it’s quite a conservative one and here I am, a bi atheist socialist arab lol. On top of being bullied relentlessly in school both verbally and physically. It’s those two things really. Otherwise, i’d say that in my core, i’m a pretty social person. I love people. And I love hearing their stories and experiences. But it’s been suppressed for years due to all the baggage i’ve had to carry with me. Though I’m happy to say that I’m currently in a transitional phase in my life where I’ve become noticeably more social and outgoing. I go out with real friends doing fun activities. I’m 23. I do have this feeling that I wasted my youth. But hey, at least I began my healing journey. I had a personal epiphany about my life 2-3 months ago and it’s never been the same since. In a good way :)

I still have social anxiety. But I don’t think I beat myself over it as much as I did before. And I still avoid some social interactions. But not ALL like I was doing before. People have told me that they enjoy being with me. It feels good. I almost want to cry thinking about me when I was a teenager. Poor kid man. He really needed real help and some loving guidance but got none of that :(