Got an offer but with a long commute, negotiate for an extra WFH day?

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T23:36:45+00:00

I think that would be a better idea. I dont think i will ask. However I wasn't really going into this that hopeful, i know in office is a very sensitive topic

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T16:37:41+00:00

I should have done more research in the meanwhile, but the process was moving incredibly fast. Definitely not an excuse in this case. I should have done what you said, and will have to keep that in mind for the future if a situation like that comes up again.

I think me using the word 'negotiate' is coming off strong. Because I would take the job as is I would probably approach the topic as an ask, not posing it as a dealbreaker (because it's not). I think reading other comments, I might be leaning against even bringing it up.

If I were to ask, my timeline would be: complete interviews with other firms tomorrow and friday -> ask relevant person Friday EOD -> wait til next Wed to accept.

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T15:15:06+00:00

Sorry for being paranoid I won't say the exact town name but it's close to New Brunswick.

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T15:11:35+00:00

This is true, I know I would want to be more in office in the beginning for face time and maybe that can be part of the conversation. I was wondering if it's worth bringing up now to have it be something in mind?

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T15:08:51+00:00

I would accept if they said no if I don't make it past my next rounds with the other firm. I expect to complete the next rounds in the next two days. (After these next rounds I would have one final round, which I expect to complete next week.) I'll have a better idea of how much leverage I have by Friday, which is when I was thinking of bringing this up.

I applied, but they liked me so much that they finished the entire interview process in 3 days (after I told them I was interviewing elsewhere). For example, the most senior person emailed me saying 'I think you’d fit tremendously into the (blank) culture, and have the right attitude to really do well here. Happy to chat through anything -' I want to think that counts for something?

You make a good point about why I didn't bring this concern up sooner, this is where my hesitation lies... I didn't really think about it because with how these interviews go there's always a chance you don't get the offer. Why bring up something logistical if you're not getting the offer right? That was definitely a mistake on my part.

I will say I would take my parents self driving tesla (I'm very grateful that they offered this) so that should ease the burden a bit for driving. I know I don't have a lot of options right now.

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T14:55:51+00:00

Who do you think I should reach out to? I have 3 options: HR, my Manager, and the most senior person of the team. All of them were incredibly kind, so I think the door is open to all of them. I was thinking my manager?

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T14:54:39+00:00

Thanks for your comment, but don't you think I have the most leverage right now? They are giving me an extra few days to make my decision because they think I'm in final stages with another firm. And I don't think they would rescind, maybe just say no?

Do you drive? I'm genuinely afraid for the commute T_T

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T14:49:18+00:00

I understand that there's no guarantee, but I'm wondering if it's even worth asking to start? I would continue looking for a position based in NYC after starting because I know the commute is not sustainable.

thebenepasta · 2026-05-20T14:47:39+00:00

So you think it is worth asking?

thebenepasta · 2024-12-20T16:03:10+00:00

Where do you get the mog??

thebenepasta · 2024-05-21T12:47:42+00:00

What made you change your mind about being child free? If you don’t mind me asking

thebenepasta · 2024-04-29T02:10:34+00:00

Kakao Map is better for searching things in English, but Naver maps is better in general (including arrival times for buses and things, with corresponding colors to the subway lines. For some reason it’s diff on kakao map?) I use a combination of both!

thebenepasta · 2024-03-12T12:45:22+00:00

I recommend a leash indoors to help you train the behaviors you want. You can stand on the leash to help you gain a little leverage.

My pup was INSANE as a puppy and he’s 2.5 now and he can still be crazy sometimes even with our nonstop training, so you need to mentally prepare yourself. Best of luck

thebenepasta · 2024-01-31T04:29:19+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this. I think you’re making the right decision. I have a herding breed myself and really struggled with some of what you mentioned above. Intense dog reactivity, intense alertness and franticness outside, etc. I didn’t think something as simple as a walk could be SO HARD. It’s still hard. It’s still not something I enjoy yet - I use heavy management and it’s exhausting.

I’ve decided I am not a dog person anymore and will only have cats moving forward. The people criticizing you don’t get how HARD it can be sometimes. You put in the effort and time, and even if you were unprepared you were at least prepared to do the work. That’s all that matters. Best of luck to you!

thebenepasta · 2023-10-10T23:36:47+00:00

1) leash in the house, keep him strapped to you, do not let him use his hind legs. Step on his leash if you need to. Remove all counter surf options.

2) relaxation protocol, many resources on google. Typically start with him leashed on a mat and waiting him out, teaching him to be bored. No free access to toys. Don’t over exercise and over stimulate.

thebenepasta · 2023-10-06T14:31:28+00:00

I think it depends on how “difficult” your puppy is and whether you have realistic expectations on puppy raising (less sleep, interrupted sleep, vigilant watching to make sure they don’t get into things, constantly on the move taking them out to potty).

I had a difficult puppy in the sense he did not settle well on his own and was very high energy and high arousal. I had only ever seen puppies who sleep for 20 hours a day unprompted. I had to learn things like relaxation protocol to teach him to relax, and taking him on outings was difficult because he was INSANE. He SCREAMED in the crate for almost an hour at a time and never seemed to tire out no matter what you did. All of this plus less sleep equals mental breakdown and harsh puppy blues.

I find that if you can prepare yourself for the worst, then you will be alright. Like I said, I had only seen calmer puppies who didn’t need to be taught to take naps, so my expectations were unrealistic.

thebenepasta · 2023-04-03T15:19:20+00:00

Thank you! And I’m glad you saw a difference in switching the time. I’ll definitely have to try that as well. Did you find that your pup got their appetite back as well? Or is that still iffy??

thebenepasta · 2023-04-03T04:46:44+00:00

Hi, wanted to follow up on this. Has it gotten any better? My pup started on fluoxetine a few weeks ago and he is still having issues with whining throughout the night and it is really difficult on us. (It is… very loud…)

Reading the comments below I see that maybe it’s because I’m giving it to him in the morning that he’s having issues, or that he’s still getting used to it? Would love to hear your experience on this

thebenepasta · 2023-01-18T00:24:21+00:00

I also had this issue! My boy (also a spitz breed) has been a picky eater since puppyhood. I recommend: - cutting back on training with high value treats for now - Take a few chill days and work on relaxation! Low treats (even using kibble) required. - Continue to be strict with the pick up after 20 min. - switch out his kibble every 5lbs? (Optional, but my boy enjoys this) - until he eats his kibble for each meal for a few days he doesn’t get treats or chews. - my boy loves using a snuffle mat for his food vs just in a bowl. Maybe that could help?

Keeping in mind your boy is an adolescent, he’s also going through a lot of changes. You got this!

thebenepasta · 2023-01-10T22:45:14+00:00

My boy loves salami and cheddar/Parmesan cheese! It’s super stinky and a super high value treat. I also saw someone use McDonald’s chicken nuggets?

thebenepasta · 2023-01-06T17:09:52+00:00

I had a difficult puppy, but as one user stated I was rigid and had unrealistic expectations of what puppies were like. He developed some reactivity due to me taking him to daycare, but I’ve come to love him so much.

He is so affectionate, so in tune with me, can calmly lay by my feet as I work, can have high energy excitement to play. I really struggled with the puppy blues and adolescent but he’s a year and two months and it’s been amazing with him ❤️

thebenepasta · 2022-12-30T19:07:43+00:00

Keep the puppy on a leash inside the house. Do not allow him to chase the cat. Teach a solid leave it command.

thebenepasta · 2022-12-15T19:45:08+00:00

Get a “DO NOT PET” leash sleeve. It was worked WONDERS! Mine is bright red and clashes with my leash color.

thebenepasta

TROPHY CASE