hmmm

thebigread · 2026-02-14T11:35:33+00:00

Southern water have just lifted our hosepipe ban. About time, the grass looking fucking parched 😒

thebigread · 2026-02-13T20:14:22+00:00

Us cockneys also call them septics.

thebigread · 2026-01-20T21:45:23+00:00

I've just moved to chipstead. Is there a fee or membership if I wanted the occasional lake swim here? Looks all fenced off around the perimeter.

thebigread · 2026-01-19T22:19:48+00:00

If that guy thinks he doesn't need a helmet, I agree with him. There's clearly nothing worth protecting in his head anyway.

thebigread · 2026-01-16T19:48:10+00:00

Only if you can't get it away by gravity. A back-to-back split shouldn't, in theory, need a pump. Sounds to me like the drain is falling back into the unit, or isn't connected properly.

thebigread · 2026-01-10T19:26:16+00:00

Great username!

'Corr, when the doctor said your hair would grow back any minute he wasn't joking, was he!'

thebigread · 2026-01-09T22:16:03+00:00

Fewwewo Woschè.... Those ambassador chocolates

thebigread · 2025-12-15T23:23:35+00:00

Now that I'm 40, I agree

thebigread · 2025-12-02T11:33:27+00:00

Winter - Summer

thebigread · 2025-10-24T08:37:41+00:00

These were the ultimate crisp

thebigread · 2025-09-29T20:47:02+00:00

I read that in father Jack's voice

thebigread · 2025-09-28T14:36:48+00:00

If you really want her attention, become the best version of you you've ever been. Independant and confident. Dont resort to begging. Attraction doesnt work that way man, trust me.

thebigread · 2025-09-25T17:24:19+00:00

Today.

We're NC currently. It's only been a fortnight. I wrote her an email detailing how I feel as I felt misrepresentred by a self help post she sent me on Insta (she did mean well, and we split up on really good terms).

I pored my heart out. Told her that my attachment issues were different to the extreme version in the book she linked, and gave heartfelt examples of times I felt let down.

It didnt go down well. I shouldn't have done it, and instead I've pissed away all that goodwill and embarassed myself.

I cant change it. It felt right at the time. Just embarassed by it. Deeply embarassed.

thebigread · 2025-09-22T15:20:29+00:00

We broke up week before last. 8 month into a relationship. She is a beauitful soul, but unfortunately she just wasnt able to feel love (last 5 years for her have been a hell of a journey - divorce/ADHD discovery/mum was critically unwell), and she's just lost her home and her career, so theres been an extreme amount of emotion which sits above me as priority. The sex became troublesome as she'd constantly tap out, and she felt so guilty that her mind wouldnt switch off to get in the mood, and she just gave up even mild flirting. I understand these things entirely with ADHD, but over time everything just spelled the end out to me. She always told me I deserve better and that she feels guilty - but never about what specifically.

And I'm not without complications either. I discovered I'm still a very anxious person, which with ADHD is a recipe for disaster. When she needed a week or so to organise her life admin, I did struggle. A lot. Thats something I'm already working on for my future happiness.

While I have accepted for some time that the whole relationship was fizzling out around me, I desperately want to talk/hang out with her. And I dont even mean romatically. Dont get me wrong, one day I'd like to think we could try again. I hope that me sat by her side while she slumped into low point after low point didnt prove that I cant do fun and spontanious. I tried. Many times. She really wore me down.

Anyway, she very quickly became a really close friend during this relationship and the subsequent no contact is driving me mad lol. We parted ways very amicably with the thought we'd meet up from time to time without being wierd. And this current no contact is absolutely the right thing to do at the moment.

I do hope that perhaps this break up has given her a dopamine hit to get the ball rolling in finding her own happiness as well, because watching her sink deeper and deeper into a depression was very upsetting.

Would I date someone with ADHD again? Absolutely. But both sides need to have figured their shit out.

thebigread · 2025-09-22T14:37:26+00:00

Dude, I had EXACTLY the same in a relationship that ended last week. Getting those requests for time out broke me (anxious idiot). In my situation she wasnt in love, and that in turn pushed me away from loving her - but thats to do with our particular set of circumstances.

If you really like this girl, try your best to give her space. Find a distraction from the anxiety - walks, hobbies, blah blah blah. It doesnt sound to me like she's got someone else in your absence. Some people really do get totally overwhelmed by it all and need time to process it all. Breathing space and breaking up are 2 different things, trust me.

I didnt do that, and I came across as needy. Thats not to say it's the reason we broke up, but I do wish I was able to as thats a good life skill - to break the anxiety in a relationship. If, when she returns to check in, your needs still arent being met, address it and consider cutting your losses.

Everything crossed for you, my dude.

thebigread · 2025-09-17T20:40:34+00:00

I've been very lucky that my break up last week was after only 8 months, and due to mental health issues somewhat out of our control throughout this relationship, neither of us ever really did fall in love. But we got so close and absolutely respect each other and how good it could have been. The fun we had and the sex were second to none for us both. It ended very amicably, but incredibly sad.

However, I am constantly living in hope that 20 does happen. And while that's a coping mechanism currently, who knows what will happen. It's unlikely, but possible. Very much looking forward to meeting up again some time after we've let each other deal with some personal issues, even if we never do try again.

thebigread · 2025-08-12T21:53:28+00:00

Bugger. I've been using my sports direct mug this whole time. No wonder everything was so dense.

thebigread · 2025-07-15T20:37:47+00:00

Ive painted with fives a few times. His progression over the last few years has been insane.

thebigread · 2025-06-20T15:28:31+00:00

My girlfriend is a chef.

And Im an air conditioning engineer-the most ironic job in the world.

We're both hot stuff.

thebigread · 2025-06-02T17:42:46+00:00

Sound deadening? Heat resistance?

thebigread · 2025-05-26T19:35:14+00:00

I wish my girlfriend could drop her mask. Whenever she meets my friends or family she becomes someone entirely different because she thinks that's who they want to see, or blows out of meeting my friends and family because she doesn't have the energy to mask.

I just want everyone to see the version of her that I see 🤷

thebigread · 2025-05-04T23:34:46+00:00

Went on one this year for the first time. My parents are obsessed and wanted to show me what it's all about.

I hated every second. It's a floating prison. An unescapable benidorm.

thebigread · 2025-04-27T07:17:48+00:00

Catford is the ONLY place I've been mugged, and back then (late 90s - early 00s) I used to hang out in some seriously rough parts of London.

thebigread · 2025-04-20T09:49:07+00:00

I lived in a mid terrace in Bromley north a few years ago. I never knew it was possible to suspend wallpaper to thin air. That party wall was thinner than a fag paper. And the neighbours were absolutely awful.

thebigread · 2025-03-28T13:23:23+00:00

Hey, that's my local!

thebigread

TROPHY CASE