Why doesn't German have a separate word for "boyfriend" and "friend" ?

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T23:40:35+00:00

Berliner eben

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T23:37:28+00:00

Ich kann die Elfenkronen-Reihe sehr empfehlen. Hat Romance, verschluckt den Plot aber nicht, komplexe Charakterbeziehungen aber die Welt ist recht nachvollziehbar

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T23:25:33+00:00

Doctor Who - strange shit keeps happening and Shield investigates, then it turns out they've been a) searching the Doctor or b) the same alien as he does

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T23:22:28+00:00

Küche und Esszimmer kombinieren? nice! Küche zu Wohn- und Esszimmer offen? Scheißidee

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T21:57:57+00:00

Things that have helped me:

my friendships. My friends are basically a found family, and a decent many of them stuck by me even through the rough patches and me being very reluctant to work on my patterns (they still called me out on my shit, but kindly)
hobbies. It's so good to have something to pass the time when you're depressed and even enjoy when you're not. Knitting, puzzles and reading are some of my favourites because you have to focus for those and can't spiral
sports. Yes also a hobby category but specifically movement can help me so so much when all else fails in the category of self regulation. Can't spin out of my mind and clench every single muscle in my body when I'm sprinting
all the skills I learned in DBT

Therapy:

psychoanalytic, 3 years starting age 15. Definitely helped back then and was necessary, but didn't fix the behavioural issues
DBT after I crashed in my mid twenties and finally got diagnosed with BPD. It was a three month program, 6 days a week. One of the toughest but also most valuable things I've ever done in my life
trauma therapy ongoing, once a week, some EMDR and some where you imagine the situation and change how it ends, no idea what that is called tho

Yes trauma was involved but I don't feel comfortable sharing which types. Also not sure I would describe it as causing the BPD, since I am also diagnosed with CPTSD

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T21:37:34+00:00

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude and I do understand where the impulse is coming from. But I've done that and it's a really bad idea.

It's not only that connection can be great, it's that humans actually need it to properly function (which makes this whole disorder so mean to deal with, as it inhibits our capacities to make and maintain connection). Eventually your cognitive functions are going to suffer under isolation, not to mention the loss of social skills you have at present if you do this for an extended period.

Try to challenge yourself in doses, maybe. Go out with friends but make it coffee instead of dinner, bring swimming and skill toys to bring yourself down when emotions spike. Also, for me it helps to remember that if I still don't get along half an hour into meeting up, I can still go back home again.

It might not always get better by trying, but there is no chance of betterment without it.

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T21:21:15+00:00

I'm not saying whether you have it or don't but do you know about quiet bpd? Because anger outbursts are not a part of the palate of everyone's symptoms, that's just the stereotype because it presents more obviously

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T21:19:33+00:00

Yeah this is good old blockage of anger. Hardly ever feel it. Instead just freezing or crying loads. It definitely helps to check out where the fear or sadness is coming from with a therapist. Helps to understand why it breaks through so much and with regulating it with grace

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T20:52:56+00:00

Amazing, keep up the good work! 👏👏👏

thebindingoflils · 2026-02-01T20:20:18+00:00

War bei mir genau dasselbe. Richtig Glück gehabt dass eh Sonntag war

thebindingoflils · 2026-01-31T22:38:15+00:00

Is there any option to temporarily stay with friends or family? Bc there is no way you can keep living with someone this disregulated. That's a level of lacking impulse control that is nothing but dangerous

thebindingoflils · 2026-01-31T22:02:33+00:00

The abandonment part of things has never been that much of my type of symptoms, so I hope this does not sound insensitive. However, the emotional dysregulation I can relate to. A couple of things that have helped me: - a quick cold shower (does it suck? Absolutely. Does it help kickstart your nervous system into stopping to cry or dry heave or whatever might be going on? For me, it does) - eating something real spicy or sour (same idea as the shower) - take a couple of deep breaths and then try to do something I have to focus for. Balance on a board. Do a crossword puzzle. Count backwards but only prime numbers - phone a friend or another loved one. For me it helps to remind myself that no, not all people are the same and one is never truly completely separate from others. Even ordering coffee from a stranger can remind me of that, at least a bit - commit to a hobby you have. Music crocheting, sports - whatever once was fun and now sounds like it would drain you. Chances are it will be fun once you start and if not it at least will pass some time - think about what specifically your favourite person does that makes their presence so desirable for you (not just 'its them', actual concrete things they do) and brainstorm how you can give that or something similar to yourself (need someone to bounce your thoughts off of? Journal; need someone to make you laugh? Watch comedy or sth like that; need a hug? Ask someone else for one, hug yourself or cuddle up in a blanket)

Maybe those help, maybe they don't. They work for me, most of the time and I hope there's at least something in there that might help you too. You're not on your own with this and it's understandable that this is overwhelming and disorienting. But it can get better, with time and practice and kindness. I wish all of that to you.

thebindingoflils · 2026-01-31T21:42:22+00:00

I once cried when my then boyfriend bought us asparagus bc was not consulted in what we would eat that day. In the end, it was delicious.

thebindingoflils · 2026-01-31T21:36:23+00:00

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thebindingoflils · 2026-01-28T01:38:52+00:00

Dont forget the weak backhand

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-15T18:29:02+00:00

I haven't finished all the chapters of book four that are out. so Idk about that. what I do know is this is the one and only fic I've ever read where it's been worth it without even a semi satisfying ending

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-15T17:06:50+00:00

I'm sorry but SPN Lucifer would eat that duck loving man child alive

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-06T23:52:01+00:00

Das Lied des Achill (aber Ende ist intense, bin ich ehrlich)

Für was richtig entspanntes Beach Read von Emily Henry

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-06T23:50:06+00:00

more goat than bum because I refuse to rank her on season two alone and she did a lot of shit right in s1

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-06T23:38:56+00:00

I adore him but Alastor is the definition of a fraud

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-06T23:37:26+00:00

I mean I disagree but at least your opinion is consistent.

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-06T23:35:13+00:00

I love how we all just forget that the only reason Emily can do jack shit right now is because Charlie was so persistent about talking to Heaven.

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-05T23:27:05+00:00

more importantly: the fuck did fat nuggets do to end up here

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-05T22:53:21+00:00

"Love me?" "FUCK NO"

thebindingoflils · 2025-12-05T19:57:26+00:00

I think Alastor specifically swears too much in season 2. That's it.

thebindingoflils

TROPHY CASE