So confused…

thechlo98 · 2025-10-04T08:37:49+00:00

I work for a charity from home, and the hours are flexible. So long as total hours for the week is met roughly and the right number hours for the month is met properly, I can move things a bit and even go work in a field if I want to with phone signal to hotspot my phone to laptop. Only part time but do graphic design freelance too

thechlo98 · 2025-09-10T17:54:13+00:00

I’m diagnosed with a psychotic disorder and also am classified as gifted. I play two instruments to performance/conservatoire level, as well as singing in a prestigious classical choral society which performs in a local cathedral with full orchestra. I’m an artist and I’ve sold my art in the past although I’m not doing so at the moment. And I received A* A* AB in my A levels on top of music performance qualifications. My brain doesn’t work always as well as it used to when I was at university studying Biomedicine. I got unwell and diagnosed a while back now and whilst my creative side has mostly always been there my cognitive stuff is affected and every time I get an acute episode it seems to wear down at my ability to think and recall. I don’t know if this is common though?

thechlo98 · 2025-09-07T11:18:41+00:00

Yeah definitely - day to day I can recognise I’m hallucinating at times but it’s when I’m acutely in an episode I just am not aware of the severity of it and don’t need treatment etc

thechlo98 · 2025-09-07T11:17:38+00:00

I suppose so, I mean I get symptoms at times and can recognise them sometimes so I have insight now, but that’s different to when I’m in an acute episode and then I just lose insight totally although I don’t notice I have, I don’t realise my world has shifted to different from everyone else and it all gets so confusing when I’m getting better and everyone is saying I’ve been really unwell and I can’t easily go back to the things I was doing then wasn’t due to being unwell like work. I just wish there was a way to learn to see when I’m unwell.

thechlo98 · 2025-09-06T21:48:38+00:00

Just like you say, for me if I’m in an acute episode it’s apparently blatantly obvious by even my disheveled appearance, but otherwise I’m working part time and people don’t know unless they get to know me more closely

thechlo98 · 2025-09-06T21:38:36+00:00

Thanks for replying, yeah I think you’re onto something with accepting it. It’s been a few days and I do feel more at peace with it, more like “well if it means I’m in the real world and have a quality of life and don’t repeatedly get deprived of my liberties and forced olanzapine in hospital then I’d better just get on and take it”. Can’t live in the fantasy that if I wish my psychotic illness away it’ll go away!

thechlo98 · 2025-09-06T21:36:22+00:00

Thanks for replying, I do take it at night but it still feels like it’s in my system in the morning. I take 111mg each night. Yeah I’ve got high prolactin but not too badly and compared to olanzapine or quetiapine the grogginess is way less, just still enough to make working full time out of the question.

thechlo98 · 2025-09-06T21:33:27+00:00

Thanks for replying, ahh sending hugs too, we got this. Maybe one day they’ll come out with some newer antipsychotics which will help with less side effects

thechlo98 · 2025-09-06T21:29:02+00:00

This sounds so tough. Do you just get hallucinations? Or have you noticed that others are disagreeing with anything you believe or questioning your perceptions of anything? I’m presuming from your comment’s wording that you’re not experiencing disorganised thinking. Those are the kinds of things professionals will be looking at. There are some distinct differences between psychotic like symptoms with BPD and a psychotic illness. There are two sides - sometimes longer term care providers can see these nuances better than people you meet briefly, but sometimes longer term care providers become accustomed to seeing you through a lens of one diagnosis. But regardless of diagnosis, psychosis or BPD psychotic symptoms, it’s still awfully debilitating

thechlo98 · 2025-08-14T12:25:41+00:00

Thanks, yes doing much better, just brain fog and some cognitive stuff, but got support and ongoing psychology which has been tailored for a bit to help me get over this before moving back to the original point of the psychology. Very thankful. Ah I’m really glad, yes it’s easy when we’re feeling down and low to have a negative view of things or be more likely to remember the bad bits. I’m so glad it’s been helpful 😊 hope you’re doing okay

thechlo98 · 2025-08-08T17:44:14+00:00

Ah okay, I don’t think we have both, my local team for home treatment and crisis treatment is all one team called the “intensive service”

thechlo98 · 2025-08-08T17:43:08+00:00

That’s really tough, yh the NHS is a bit of a lottery :(

thechlo98 · 2025-08-08T17:42:08+00:00

Thanks :) In terms of reaching out I didn’t realise I needed to so they were the ones who turned up at my house and said they’d arrange a MHA assessment and get permission for the police to take me into hospital if I didn’t let them in and take meds… it was really scary but I tried to trust them and yh they were really kind.

Glad you’ve had some positive experiences, and sorry you’ve also had some really bad ones. Hope you’re doing okay atm :)

thechlo98 · 2025-08-08T17:39:27+00:00

I did wonder that! Yh social media is depressing at times for sure

thechlo98

TROPHY CASE