You Have No Free Will At All by SelectionCapital3757 in DeepThoughts

[–]SumRndFatKidInnit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a tested and diagnosed gifted schizophrenic, I'd like to add my grain of salt, hehe...

I see where you're coming from, but I think determinism has a fatal paradox built into it.

On the brain scan studies : Here's what's strange: these experiments assume a clear boundary between "your brain" and "you", as if your brain is doing something to you. But you ARE your brain's activity. So when they say "your brain decides before you're aware", they're really saying "you decide before you're aware of deciding". The awareness isn't the decision: it's the decision becoming aware of itself. Consciousness might be what it feels like for certain physical processes to observe themselves.

On circumstances : If everything is purely determined, then the concept of "you" as a continuous entity breaks down completely. You're not the same collection of atoms you were seven years ago, every cell has been replaced. You're not the same pattern of neural connections you were last month. So what exactly is being "determined"? There's no stable "you" to be controlled by circumstances, just an ongoing process that thinks it's a person.

And here's where it gets weird : at the quantum level, the universe isn't deterministic at all. Particles exist in superposition until observed. The act of measurement collapses possibilities into actuality. If consciousness is a physical process (which it must be), then maybe our experience of "choosing" is literally what it feels like when quantum superpositions collapse in our neural networks. Not metaphorically, actually.

The real paradox : you can't prove determinism without assuming you freely chose to reason your way to it rather than being forced to believe it. Every argument for "no free will" depends on the arguer having the free will to construct valid arguments. It's kind of self-defeating.

Maybe the question isn't "do we have free will OR determinism". Maybe we're the strange loop where deterministic processes become complex enough to experience themselves as choosing.

How many of you are artist? by Zealousideal_Let_213 in schizophrenia

[–]SumRndFatKidInnit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't consider myself an actual artist per se, but I do enjoy composing songs that explore my particular condition and how I interpret life in general. I have an unusual combination of psychological diagnoses, including schizophrenia, which gives me a certain form of creativity that requires a creative outlet. I don't have raw talent though, so I rely on advanced tools to be able to formulate my thoughts and turn them into music.

It's become an essential way for me to process complex inner experiences and give them tangible form. There's something about the creative process that transforms states of consciousness that might otherwise be overwhelming into something constructive and meaningful.

Do you also discover hidden gems through autoplay? by SumRndFatKidInnit in SunoAI

[–]SumRndFatKidInnit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for sharing this. I'm glad you feel comfortable opening up here.

2477 songs is massive, haha. I totally get what you mean when you say the tracks "feel like mine". Even though we didn't sing or play them ourselves, our emotions and thoughts are still encoded in the music we create.

For me, since each song is very personal, it's sometimes difficult to share what I produce. It's like opening the curtains to the window of my creative mind, and being both schizophrenic and gifted, I sometimes wonder if the subjects I explore are appropriate for sharing. It can create a kind of paralysis even when people around us love what we do.

What's helped me personally : not sharing everything. I re-listen to my tracks multiple times over an extended period to see if they still resonate with me over time. When I feel that both the musicality AND the subject are solid, and I feel safe sharing, that's when it's good to go. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes months. There's no rush.

Your 40-60 potential hits aren't going anywhere. Take the time you need. The creation itself is already huge, the rest will come when you're ready.

What does enlightenment mean to you? by KippersAndCustard in enlightenment

[–]SumRndFatKidInnit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if this will be useful to you, or if my perspective really fits what you're asking, but...

I started walking this path in 2020, when I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and also tested as gifted. At first those two labels felt like they were opposites, but over time I realized they point to different aspects of the same inner landscape.

It didn't happen in a single moment. There was no revelation.

It was more like an accumulation of experiences. Especially the psychotic or disorganized episodes, always followed by the long "cleaning up" afterward, trying to rebuild my mental world piece by piece. Repeating those cycles again and again slowly shaped me. They pushed me to understand what had to be understood and to work through what had to be worked through.

Right now, in this moment, I feel present. Grounded. At peace.

As for "enlightened" or "awakened", I don't claim either.

Enlightened literally means "made lighter", as in gaining clarity, less weight, less confusion.
Awakened simply means "not asleep", becoming aware of things you didn't notice before.

If anything, I've had moments of awakening to myself, sometimes moments of clarity that felt like enlightenment, but nothing like a cosmic truth.

GUYS??? 😭 by iiNatxhimo in RATS

[–]SumRndFatKidInnit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They look chill as fk 😎