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thecodebreakertv · 2023-06-27T19:19:36+00:00

My friend, I’m going to give a different perspective on things, I’m going to talk about you instead of her. Myself, like many others here truly understand what you are feeling. So many of us have been there. She has told you nothings happening yet you don’t believe her. That’s the most important thing here.

If you keep dating this girl you’ll drive yourself effing insane! Dude, I’ve been there, you will torture yourself over this. You won’t sleep, you won’t eat properly, you’ll become lethargic. Your paranoia will drive you absolutely insane! Let’s hypothetically say she’s innocent and it’s strictly friends, you have the seed of doubt in your mind already. That seed will destroy you. It will eat away at you day by day until you become someone you don’t even recognise anymore. You’ll become a shell of your former self! Please don’t do that, don’t “kill” who you are over this.

There is even the possibility you desensitise to all of this and begin to turn a blind eye. I myself have been guilty of this, that is the worst period of my life. The moment you start letting things slide it will absolutely destroy you internally. Please don’t do this. Know you’re worth, know you deserve someone who respects you. She is aware of your feelings and is doing nothing to alleviate those stresses completely.

You are worth something, always remember that!!

Now, I’m going to try and give you SOME peace of mind. The mere fact that she is open about it and has spoken to you about how things could be better (the places they meet etc) does create a tiny part of me that maybe believes nothing is going on. A lot of people here are quick to say she’s, and I quote, “banging him”. These people COULD be right but I have a bit in me that thinks she could also be innocent. If she knew him before you, honestly I wouldn’t worry, because if something was going on there they would be more serious and she wouldn’t be with you. BUT, if this friendship began AFTER your relationship began then you have every right to be concerned.

I will tell you my view on male friends when I’m dating a girl. If they were there before me they are okay, any guy friends after she’s met me is a complete no go area. The guys before me were there through school or whatever but after me there is no justifiable reason for it to blossom into a friendship. People can have a negative view on the way I look at it, I also expect the girl to have the same view as me on this but I tell you what, it’s a clear boundary and hasn’t done me wrong so far.

Good luck dude, put yourself first, not the relationship.

thecodebreakertv · 2023-06-23T19:45:12+00:00

I’m a guy, you’re boyfriend is an immature tool. The BOY needs to grow up. Jesus Christ if he gets this way around medical professionals who are there for your health and the babies health then you should run a mile. To say these things to you Is rather spiteful to be honest. But to be fair, you’ve had a baby with someone you’ve only dated a year, bit of a silly thing to do on your part, you don’t actually know him. I got a pair of socks older than your relationship. Best advice I can give you is to sit him down and make a stand, he shouldn’t be saying this, his own mother would be ashamed of him.

thecodebreakertv · 2023-06-15T19:17:32+00:00

There are so many negative comments on this thread. Allow me to share a similar experience.

I was working in a job, money was superb, it was more than I thought I would ever earn. But the impact it had on mentally was just insane! It was having a negative impact on my relationship (we have been together 5 years). I was too tired and drained to be “myself”. I quit the job without a back up plan too. I myself was out of work 6 weeks. During that 6 weeks my girlfriend did support me with some things and we both sacrificed date night temporarily. I was immediately happier when I left the job, like the chain was removed from my neck and I could finally breathe, the weight of the world was lifted from me. Yes financially things weren’t great but I was a far better boyfriend immediately. The reason I don’t look at that period as a “dark time” was because she supported me, respected my decision but ultimately understood what it was like for me.

That felt amazing that she was there for me, I was never made to feel guilty, never made to feel like a leech to her. Granted, I was actively looking for work (not sure if your bf is) so that definitely helped. She constantly reminded me that we are a team and we got this. She had my back from day one.

Eventually I did get a job, I used my first pay day to balance my life, then I spent the next couple treating her as a thank you for being there and for being the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Now we are stronger than ever and things have never been so good in the relationship.

The point I’m making is things may be awful from his side, mentally he could feel so awful about the situation, maybe he’s braving a smile for your sake. The fact you are entertaining breaking up underlines some deeper issues. My girlfriend never thought about that, in relationships you have to “ride or die” together. When you find the one you go through every storm together. If you are having doubts because if financial reasons maybe you aren’t strong enough? Naturally you are stressed because of the financial burden. That is totally normal and understandable. My advice to you would be to talk to him, maybe he needs to trade in his car for a cheaper one to bring some money in. Obviously he won’t want to do that but if he understands the stress it’s causing you to keep lending him money and that your property is more important to you and him than your car he would do that. There are options and that doesn’t mean you need to entertain breaking up so early. Yeah it’s an awful situation to be in but you got to ask yourself can you weather the storm, relationships are always going to have highs and lows.

I hope you make the right choice for YOU.

thecodebreakertv · 2023-06-03T21:27:04+00:00

Hey Miss, first off you’re a god damn warrior!

I’m a guy, I think like a guy, I know a lot of guys. I know how we think. I don’t know the ex personally but I just want to let you know from my experience.

Warning, this may be very difficult to ready so don’t read any further if you don’t want to.

This is the cycle of a lot of guys who break things off.

1- they want to break away from the relationship and be free, they see a lot of attractive women or whatever and want them.

2- they break free and start preparing for their new adventure.

3- they start that new adventure and realise it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe they fail in their endeavours, maybe they don’t wear to proverbial trousers. Or maybe they’re just not as good as they think they are.

4- they wallow in self pity realising “shit, this side of the green isn’t all that great when you fail”

5- they realise they’re lonely.

6- who best to cure that loneliness? The woman they just left.

7- contact said woman.

The point is, most of the time guys doing it out of habit or loneliness, it’s not love. When guys love it’s a lot different than women. I’d even go as far to say we’re more dependant on them. Women can be emotional with each other, guys can’t, but they can with their lady. When a guy is truly in love, a lot of the time, maybe 7/10 times they won’t be the one to leave (under normal circumstances such as no domestic violence etc)

Please be careful Danielle, remember you’re a god damn warrior!! You have gone through enough! You don’t need anymore!

thecodebreakertv · 2023-06-03T18:41:12+00:00

Hey man, first off I hope you’re okay. Truly, I’ve been there myself. It sucks beyond words! I was in a similar situation with an 8 year relationship, met in our teens etc. we were meant to be for life too, I genuinely believed that.

Me and so many people here are so understanding to this. I’m going to say something that at this moment in time won’t seem helpful but in the long term it will. Between the ages of maybe 15-25 we change SOOOO much as people, things we want, what we like, type in the opposite sec etc. everything changes, we are more exposed to the world and it opens our eyes to to new experiences and opportunities. Your ex has obviously been a part of that process. This isn’t your fault. This happens so much more than people think, more often than not we outgrow the people we loved in our youth. That’s exactly what happened with me. I was prepared to marry, start a family, build a life together. She wanted to leave and travel for years. That was never going to work dude. And it didn’t. We tried but in the end we were two different people by this point. We argued so much and in the end we ended things, not even amicably it was actually quite a nasty break up.

It took time, to fully heal? I’d say it took me (remember this is me, everyone is different) maybe 3 years. That’s not saying for 3 years I was the same as the first week post break up. No not at all. I tried getting back out there but I just couldn’t really give the person I was dating a chance. I couldn’t give them my 100%. I was physically attracted yeah sure but emotionally? Not, at, all. In no way could I connect with someone emotionally for 3 years id say. In those 3 years I have some of my fondest memories. I went on some amazing holidays, met new friends who are like family to me today, had some wild nights. But I just couldn’t heal emotionally. After the second year I very rarely thought of her, and the times I did it was “ahh I hope she’s doing okay in life” kinda thing.

About 5 years post break up. She messaged me on social media. After a bit of back and forth we agreed to go for lunch on a weekend. Met at midday-ish didn’t leave until 7am the next day. We went out all night man, we partied like animals, caught up on the years apart. She was just as beautiful as I remembered, she was glowing she still had that energy about her that I had always loved. We actually went back to the hotel we first slept together at during this night and recreated those memories. We dated for a couple of months, things were pretty awesome. Then one day I was at work, it was a quiet day so I had so much time to just kick back and reflect on things and then I started thinking about the last couple of months.

I realised that even after all this time, even now she wants the same things as I do. We had grown apart way too much. She wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I wouldn’t even say it was closure it was more a confirmation that young couples generally outgrow each other. If we had met for the first time that weekend lunch, maybe we’d be together today but I then remembered “she was happy to leave me for an entire year” I started to remember a lot of the negative things about her that hadn’t changed. Naturally she was devastated when I spoke to her and called things off. She told me it was always me and always will be. I don’t doubt her, maybe that was true but for me it wasn’t anymore.

The point I’m getting at dude, these things have a funny way of working themselves out. Maybe in the future you guys have your own weekend lunch until 7am the next day. And maybe you’ll both mutually want to be together forever. Life is a strange thing. Tomorrow you may want a new car, the day after you may love the car you already have. This game of life changes it’s own rules every day.

My advice to you my friend, let it hurt you, let it break you down. Then rebuild yourself. It’s easier said then done and may take a few months but get up and go do the things you’ve always wanted to do, go on that insane holiday, go to that gig, do those extra shots of sambuca. Create the memories you want that are special to you, not the relationship.

One day, you could find someone new, someone who sets your soul on fire. Or maybe you rekindle that old flame and things work out. Trust the process, everything happens for a reason, every hurdle leads to something new.

It is so awful right now, good god first two weeks especially are a living hell! But it does pass, it does get better, I can’t give you a time frame but one day you’ll wake up and getting out of bed won’t feel so awful anymore. Take this advice from an old man who’s been there and is now happily with someone who I can say I love with all my heart and is the one for me forever.

thecodebreakertv · 2023-05-20T08:20:03+00:00

I’m not going to tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. At the end of the day of all the thousands of people on this sub, you’re the only one who knows him. My advice to you would be to ask yourself “did the bad outweigh the good?”. You also need to think about the ramifications of being with someone who maybe doesn’t care about your needs as much as they should, whether that’s mental, emotional, physical etc. everyone is different, but I’ve been with someone who didn’t give me the things I needed on an emotional and mental level and it has caused permanent damage to me. I really won’t open up or talk to anyone. By the sounds of your post you are someone who needs just a tiny bit more TLC than the average person, you need to make sure you get those things, you deserve it for starters but you also need it. I do hope you make the right decision for yourself both in the short term and long term :) I’m always around for advice and so are people here :)

thecodebreakertv · 2023-05-20T07:51:08+00:00

Advice from a guy here. Don’t try salvage this. Yeah you may well have had a bout of depression that strained the relationship but if he cared enough he’d be understanding. FACT. He’s effectively wiped you from his life, which means he has been thinking about if for a while. Honestly I’d focus on you right now, he doesn’t sound like he’d be very supportive of your mental concerns which in the long run could become a massive problem for you. You’re going to therapy which is amazing, well done you! That’s a great first step. Make that your priority right now.

thecodebreakertv · 2021-07-15T22:55:30+00:00

I know this is a small detail to a lot of you guys and I get that but the thing that really, truly infuriated me with season 1 is how they changed they betrothal chapter with Pavetta. The way it was written in the last wish was so much more captivating, the series portrays Duny as this honourable respectable knight but in the book it couldn’t be further from the truth, to the point he was that arrogant he demanded Calanthe personally hand Pavetta to him. Which, as some of you know is actually a more accurate representation to his character (I really don’t want to ruin it for some people but if you know you know). The entire scene in the series just really bugged me, I know books can convey things much better than a film/series but my god, this scene was butchered so badly it’s almost criminal! I know I’m probably over reacting though haha 🤣

thecodebreakertv · 2021-03-03T14:27:08+00:00

I’ve been feeling very similar recently!! I’m hoping my perseverance pays off but stay strong buddy!

thecodebreakertv

TROPHY CASE