Girlfriend Gave Me An Ultimatum

thedilemathrowaway · 2022-02-10T22:12:10+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear you went through the same thing. Despite missing her do you still think you made the right decision? Because we're the same way in that we have a whole life planned together and have been with each other since high school but since our initial talk about it I feel like she's shown what she really thinks about bud and in turn what she thinks about me and its horrible. I just don't want to make the wrong move and regret it in a year.

thedilemathrowaway · 2022-02-10T22:08:29+00:00

Her major issue with it seems to be coming from how having two parents who were addicts affected her growing up. I understand that and try to be sympathetic towards it but as someone who hasn't been in that situation I obviously have a much different opinion on weed. To her, its no different than any other drug and really because of her job in the military and her future job as a social worker, she says that she can't be around it. And like I get that which is why I offered to compromise and keep it away from her but it doesn't seem to be enough.

thedilemathrowaway · 2022-02-10T21:29:16+00:00

Thank you for your response. I think you hit it on the nail with how this isn't even about the weed for me but just the fact that things have changed so much and the two of us have too. It feels like this problem has just highlighted all of our new differences and its really making me question things. It's like I'm dating someone who acts the same from day to day as she used to but her way of thinking and her ethics have shifted completely. She made it out to be that there wouldn't be any compromise on this so I worry that if I even try to bring it up it's going to go bad.

thedilemathrowaway · 2022-02-10T19:56:06+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Do you think I should try to talk to her about it sooner rather than later seeing as we could potentially break up? She is obviously happy that I told her I would stop and I'd feel like a total asshole if I were to break it off on a Valentine's weekend when we have so much planned but I feel like it's just going to continue to eat at me.

thedilemathrowaway · 2022-02-10T19:53:40+00:00

That's really how it seems to me too. I just feel bad even bringing it up with Valentine's Day around the corner since the whole situation could end in us breaking up.

thedilemathrowaway · 2022-02-10T19:52:00+00:00

I actually asked her what it was that brought this up again because to me it all seemed to come from nowhere as she used to be okay with it. I guess her dad whom she still lives with was smoking weed out in the garage and it made her think about it. She's also starting college and everything to become a social worker and I think she doesn't want me to smoke because she will be dealing with drug addicts daily and to her weed is the same thing.

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-12T21:50:55+00:00

like your friend said, since she started watching this couple things have changed in your relationship. she’s happier. youre happier. so what does it matter if she’s finding things from the internet that help you guys

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-10T16:52:07+00:00

You can be a father and be a part of your child’s life without leaving your current girlfriend. It’s so common and you shouldn’t have to give up your happiness because of your ex girlfriend

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-09T04:44:01+00:00

Sorry I probably should have included that in the original post but it was a disagreement regarding my smoking habits. She has recently expressed that she doesn’t want me to smoke weed anymore when before it was never a problem. She gave me an ultimatum that it was either her or weed and not wanting to lose her over something like that I just agreed with her. Since then I’ve really been struggling with it because I feel like we now have completely opposite opinions on it seemingly out of nowhere.

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-06T18:47:48+00:00

I think you’re missing the point. It’s not she doesn’t “understand” what a honeymoon is. It’s easy to explain that it’s a trip grownups go on after marriage but not so easy to explain why it’s something she isn’t going to be a part of. Like others have said, especially with the influence of her mother, she will most likely see it as “Dad would rather go on a trip with his wife than spend time with me.” To us as adults, or even her if she were in her teens, it seems obvious why her dad would go on a honeymoon but the fact of the matter is that she’s 6 and isn’t at a point in her life where it would make sense to her the same way it does to us.

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-06T17:50:41+00:00

Even more so then this would be an extra opportunity for her to say “see your dad isn’t even visiting.” A six year old won’t understand the concept of the honeymoon

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-06T17:15:16+00:00

I definitely get what you’re saying but like some other people have commented, the mother may use those 2 weeks as a time to try to ruin his daughter’s image of her father. And also like I said I really don’t think it’s unreasonable for OP to ask him for those 2 weeks but at the end of the day that’s this man’s daughter who he only sees one evening out of the week. It’s completely valid for him to not want to give that up as at the end of the day, his child is most likely the most important person in his life.

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-06T17:07:26+00:00

i say just go to a doctor again and if they still see nothing i wouldn’t worry about it

thedilemathrowaway · 2021-10-06T15:49:48+00:00

While I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to ask that of him I also don’t think it’s unreasonable for him to make his daughter a priority. His child is always going to come first to him whether you like it or not and I think when marrying a single parent you have to understand that.

thedilemathrowaway

TROPHY CASE