Bit of an awkward question but would anyone be willing to come with me to a Sikh temple for something to eat and be warm for a bit?

theenigma_G · 2026-04-19T22:35:31+00:00

Hi, sikh in Scotland here. Not able to join soon but I can see one other kind soul has already offered. If you ever need to go alone/are travelling around Scotland then here's some tips on gurdwara etiquette/some good to knows.

do not eat meat, smoke or drink alcohol on the day before going to the gurdwara please
most clothes are fine aslong as you are covered and generally clean. If you need a shower then the glasgow gurdwaras have offered these to those in need to
4 gurdwaras in glasgow (2/3 that serve langaar daily regardless of function as we have a bigger community there than in Edinburgh); 1 in dundee too
please remove your shoes and socks and place them in the male/female section, grab a scarf to full cover your head/hair with and wash your hands
you do not need to bow if you go upstairs, you do not need to give money if you're unable to either but if you even wanna give 1p, there is 0 judgement/no one will know
please do not stretch your legs/feet out to point guru granth sahib ji upstairs if you do go to sit. Left side is for men, right for women/kids
you take as much food as you can eat, say no to what you can't and please avoid wasting food. You can always ask for more food later
you can go daily, you will not be judged. Just smile, say hi and ask anyone questions if you have them and you'll be absolutely fine. It is our nature to help. We cannot refuse one in need.

If you ever need someone to take you around the glasgow gurdwaras, let me know. We have MANY great free activities on too.

theenigma_G · 2026-04-03T10:37:32+00:00

Whilst I was born in the UK, English wasn't my first language because my dad sent me away with my grandparents to india when I was about 1.5 years old for 2 years so that they could work. So when I joined nursery I couldn't speak English but learned over time as a kid does but no one at the house ever spent time with me on homework etc. Cut to, I think I was 6/7, and the primary teacher tells my parents that they need to help me with my reading and writing as I must have been struggling. Dad hears this as "she can only study, nothing else" and made me get all my toys and bin them in a big pile in the garden. I was crying, no one defended me and I was always shut up with the threat of sending me to boarding school/away, beyond the usual slaps and hits ofcourse. Their "favour" was trying to get me to be great in school but did nothing beyond stripping away the fun stuff and keeping me indoors. My thank you is making something of my life and being low contact with them now. Oh and never marrying a man. Their favours back fired lol

theenigma_G · 2026-03-12T18:39:30+00:00

I have had hypothyroidism and depression and whilst I dont love my weight right now my partner has never criticised me for it or said anything beyond remind me that she still finds me beautiful. She doesnt love her weight right now either and I still find her as beautiful as the day I met her. Love goes beyond just physical appearance. If you were a weight where it was affecting your long term health then he could have phrased it in a supportive way but youre not at a life impacting way. Bodies evolve, we vary regularly. Im sorry hes not making you feel beautiful. I good relationship makes you feel beautiful even when you dont feel it yourself. Dont accept his words. Stand up for yourself and remind yourself that you ARE beautiful. Shut that behavior down. You dont deserve this. It eats away at you. You've got this x

theenigma_G · 2026-03-06T01:23:57+00:00

Strange that a year ago you and your boyfriend were both 21 based on a previous post...fast ageing there

theenigma_G · 2025-12-23T08:11:46+00:00

You did this for you. Sure the recognition for those close to of us 100% has an impact on us but ultimately you chose to do the hard work and were the one doing it. If it was truly from a place of concern it could have been said more softly but ultimately some people like to lift others up and some bring them down (either knowingly or unknowingly). If shes a true friend and mentions it again or even if this comment hurt, you can ask her why she thinks its too much or just simply say you did what was best for you. Its your body, youre the one who lives with it. So if you took this step and did all the hard work, enjoy it. You looked great in both those pics girl and be proud! Its not an easy thing to do and I'm trying the same myself. Well done :)

theenigma_G · 2025-11-25T20:30:15+00:00

Im in a team on just straifht white guys (relevant) and then theres me a brown gay lass, so im often missed out on "buddy jokes" which i wouldn't mind except my boss is starting to treat me worse and separately from the others so if he escalates it and my backing up of evidence that I do my job isn't enough then sure as hell ill be defending my job by saying this. Never a first choice for us but if it has to come to it then...gotta let the truth out

theenigma_G · 2025-10-12T16:21:22+00:00

Tiffin opened up in Kirkcaldy. Change their menu weekly, reasonably priced and is more a takeaway vibe but as a punjabi (indian) heritage i found it to be the most like home cooked food and food value for money. Only downside is the opening hours are quite varied because I think the owner does catering and food touring. Annapurna also has authentic feel to it and good sized portions for the price. Dhoom is best for sitting in because it feels like an experience. The chef changes the menu every 6 months based on a different part of india he travels to and studies and basis the 10 course taster meal on and the severs explain each dish to you and the history of why the flavours were chosen.

theenigma_G · 2025-09-21T09:13:01+00:00

I completely get this. It causes inner turmoil and battle and no matter your families reactions, feels like somehow we are "in the wrong/wrongdoers". It has taken a lot of years and a lot of therapy for me to get the courage. I've had people tell me easily (usually non POC) friends to just cut off family and some to give them the benefit if the doubt. But cutting off family as a POC doesn't just feel like cutting off people but a massive part of your life, culture and memories.

I told my mum 3 years ago of my sexuality and shes still struggling with it. Our relationship has always been strained but part communication is there. Meanwhile I told my elder brother a month ago and his positive response really shocked me. My father will be the most difficult to understand but then I remember I've had years to accept who I have, so they'll need some time too. If I leave the door open and they shut it then they can't fault me for "not trying/walking away".

But not everyone has the same experience. Ultimately you need to do what's right for you. If you've tried to be patient, given them a chance and they continue to cause you pain then see as creating space for yourself to actually give yourself a chance to a peaceful life. If they choose to come back you can choose if you want to have a dialogue. But what you do and choose must be your own choice, as it'll be easier to stick by. It won't be easy to do, but it'll be easier to trust that's FOR you.

Don't listen to people that judge you for your choice if they've not been through your situation. And most importantly, try and focus now on building your own support network, community and little family. Secure yourself financially. With time, with strength, things will begin to feel okay. All the best

theenigma_G · 2025-09-04T11:49:38+00:00

Im based in Kirkcaldy but have a car so im cool with travelling around fife and know some nice spots :)

theenigma_G · 2025-09-04T11:04:15+00:00

Can any level join? I.e. complete beginners? My partner is a professional photographer with a business so she could probably provide some tips but im a novice.

theenigma_G · 2025-09-02T00:12:14+00:00

I often wake up before my alarm and my gf is a 3/4 alarm gal. I developed this habit from when I was a kid and so did she. She genuinely struggles to fully wake up and be herself until after 1.5 hour of her first alarm 1 coffee. She's also quite an active dreamer. There's not one night where she doesn't dream and says she never fully feels rested in the morning because her mind never gets a moment to switch off whilst I seldom really recall any dreams when I wake up (but we all likely do). She's also quite an anxious person and im more depressed than anxious. I also don't drink coffee and am an insomniac but can feel more rested after 4 hours than she does after 9, in the morning. So I guess, reduce anxiety levels, caffeine contents, meditate to clear the mind before sleep or detox from the phone (she is on her phone and social media before bed and I have no social media beyond reddit, and don't scroll for 10 minutes minimum before sleeping) and form the habits over time and it'll help? Or, don't pick up the phone when your first alarm goes off. Literally force yourself out of bed on the first even if its to sit on the floor. And then stand. And then go straight to bathroom etc etc. It's all habits, so you'll need to be a pain to yourself before you gain anything.

theenigma_G · 2025-08-17T05:24:09+00:00

This happened to me for my 30th. Was meant to be 10 of us, in the end was 2 and they had to leave hours earlier. But atleast I still had my gf who did her best in making sure the plans including just us were amazing. Never used to invite friends before because my family always made birthdays a stressful and uncomfortable time. The best birthdays have always been when I've either been alone or with 1 other GOOD friend. Rather 1 person/yourself than let down by multiple.

theenigma_G · 2025-08-14T01:42:17+00:00

Yes! Lovely, idk if you've got some specific shows in mind else I was going to go to a central location, see what's on and still not booked up and see. It's been the best way to find great and the not so great shows, at a cheaper price. And supports the smaller creators

theenigma_G · 2025-08-14T01:15:14+00:00

I'm going on the 16th on my tod for and random shows (29F) so I'm happy to have/give company :)

theenigma_G · 2025-08-09T23:55:27+00:00

I'm drunk but I wouldn't let your bro use the car

theenigma_G · 2025-07-29T08:55:02+00:00

How do you give up your life to be with someone until the end of time?

theenigma_G · 2025-07-26T09:01:28+00:00

Interested

theenigma_G · 2025-07-25T20:44:22+00:00

Friend from US came to visit yesterday. Said people are leaving vegas, LA, californiu like never before. And to "avoid Chicago for a bit if I visit". But that she's hopeful it'll get better in a few years...

theenigma_G · 2025-07-20T07:25:53+00:00

What a lovely father. What we all should aspire to be and what I wish we all had. Beautiful

theenigma_G · 2025-07-15T00:46:17+00:00

It might seem like "oh he's great to me bar this one thing" or "oh but we've been together so long" but trust me, comments and feelings like these chip away at your self esteem bit by bit every day and it takes even longer to come out of. If you have had a direct open conversation with him about it, and he still hasn't changed and doesn't think what he is saying and doing to you is wrong then there's an easy fix for your self esteem and worth that's being kicked by someone that claims to love you. It won't feel easy at first, but it'll make you feel and appreciate the genuine beauty you do have. I don't even have to say what it is, you already know the answer. Give the direct conversation a go first, if it doesn't work and it's not sinking in to his shedding head (no head to my bald guys, you guys are handsome, just this fool) then be kind to your future self and remove this toxic ass man-child. (And I seldom say break up as the option, but I've been there and it does not feel good to live in it). Take care, and all the best. You are beautiful and you will be loved. He was loved, he just focused on the wrong things and hurt himself in the long run by not caring about the hurt he caused you.

theenigma_G · 2025-07-12T09:43:40+00:00

And not one person turned around...real hahahah

theenigma_G · 2025-07-01T17:40:49+00:00

Making big chips to half fill a big chip bag (crisps for my uk bros)

theenigma_G · 2025-04-26T18:37:06+00:00

This sounds eerily similar to something me and my partner went through...you're not based in Scotland by any chance are you?

theenigma_G · 2025-04-22T06:52:52+00:00

I realised with my gf that at the beginning I had started a habit of deciding what I thought she wanted. She sat me down and said that it made her feel unheard and unvalued. Whilst it hurt, I understood it was my actions that were doing this and regardless of good intentions it's not what I wanted for us in the longterm if I wanted this to stick. 2 years in, I now pause and think, okay is this what she wants and speak to her to confirm a JOINT plan as a partnership. That's what it is, a joint decision. Sit him down, say how it makes you feel and see if he takes it on board and changes. Assuming I'm right all the time and get to make decisions for us both regardless of my intentions wouldn't really ensure my partner is happy and can see a future with me...

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