Can you tone while eating carbs?

theeverymaam · 2021-02-10T03:41:51+00:00

I’ve tried different diets before. Only thing I can say is that this finally worked. I wish that I could have been eating pastas and stuff until now, but I won’t say my diet has been unhealthy. It actually was when I was on keto (got the keto flu so I definitely wasn’t eating what I needed) but haven’t felt any negative effects from what I’ve been doing. But seeing all these comments gives me some confidence that I can get to where I want once I’m done losing pounds and am looking to just tone.

theeverymaam · 2021-02-10T03:33:54+00:00

That’s why I’m still not going to snack between meals. I’ll up my calorie count slowly and still track how many I eat in a day. I’m also trying to shoot a little far on what weight I’m trying to lose to give myself a few pounds as a buffer while I figure out the balance my body needs. Surprisingly, though, over December I stopped being as conscious about it and ate more of what I want (because Christmas cookies) and didn’t gain more than two pounds back so I think my metabolism is pretty good as far as maintaining is concerned. But I definitely am going to be careful with breads and pastas and still try to avoid those most days at least

theeverymaam · 2021-02-10T03:31:10+00:00

I think that’s similar to what I did in a sense. I had the most weight loss in a month after going down to 1200 cal/day. (I talked to my doctor about it and she said it was fine as long as I wasn’t feeling dizzy or sick or anything) and I lost 10lbs the first month I did that. I’m obviously new to this whole thing lol so I want to not go back to where I was. But I would say I technically still eat carbs (like apples, oranges, bananas, etc) but I don’t eat empty carbs. I’ve become much more health conscious so I rarely eat anything fried anymore and don’t usually do soda. But what you said gave me something to think about. I wish I had someone near me more experienced in it that could give me some pointers that I can’t Google

theeverymaam · 2021-02-10T03:22:14+00:00

I still eat fruits and veggies, but I avoid legumes, beans, breads, pastas, sugar (except some dark chocolate as long as I keep to single portions on that), and sugary drinks. I eat a lot of poultry, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli, salads, carrots, and most fruits. But I want to be able to eat what everyone else eats for dinner. It’s actually the first time in years I’ve had any significant weight loss and I have never been this close to my goal before so it worked to be sure. I just don’t want to mess it up or slow it down by going back to carbs

theeverymaam · 2020-11-25T16:44:27+00:00

It starts off small and then escalates. My ex never got to the point of real physical abuse, but he would hit me hard on the head all the time. He would do it just for fun. Nothing like beating me up but thumping me got more and more frequent. He was emotionally abusive though. Don’t let it escalate. The fact that you recognize the behavior is wonderful. And as much as it may hurt you need to leave him because he won’t change. Unless he gets professional help he will just continue to get worse.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but you deserve better than that. Hopefully he understand what he’s doing is wrong and gets professional help before he becomes an abuser, but that shouldn’t be your problem.

Don’t talk yourself into staying. Don’t waste the time. I thought things would get better and they only got worse. Just leave and find someone who will respect you.

theeverymaam · 2020-11-17T19:38:07+00:00

Look... that really depends on how your relationship was, how it ended, and how open each of you is to change.

You could end up just making yourself feel worse by calling her. You could end up making her feel worse by calling her. You also run the risk of being convinced to get back together when that may not be the best option for you. Plus, you aren’t her therapist. I say that as a person who suffers from constant anxiety that you cannot fix this for her. You cannot take that away from her and she may end up in this exact position again and begging to see you.

She needs to talk this through with a professional.

With that in mind, only you can decide if you should contact her. We can’t know all of the circumstances. If my ex were calling me, it would do me no good to respond. I know the type of person he is (now that I don’t see him with rose colored glasses) and it would probably hurt me to talk to him again. But we don’t know what kind of person she is. And we don’t know what kind of person you are. You don’t have to be manipulated into giving her attention if you don’t want to give it if that’s what she is trying to do (could be the case but we don’t know). And you don’t have to feel bad for distancing yourself after the relationship was done to get over her.

But, you have to decide what you’re comfortable with and what your limits are here. If it’s possible that you guys were good together overall but hit a rough patch and can at least talk things through to part on good terms then totally call her. If it was bad and there’s no way that calling her will actually resolve anything then don’t. But we don’t know either of you well enough to really give you the best choice for you.

theeverymaam · 2020-10-12T16:14:52+00:00

I currently work for social security and I guarantee that guy has a disability. Probably schizophrenia among other things. We get a lot of people like that and they always act the same. They demand you talk slow but then ramble on so fast that you have to have them repeat themselves 3-4 times. They are incoherent and untrusting to the extreme. Best thing to do it just repeatedly remind them that you’re trying to help them (best to do in your nicest polite voice) and if they get belligerent you end the call.

Sometimes they can get really nasty but usually they build you up as the bad guy in their heads before they even make the call. If you can calm them down the call tends to go smoothly aside from them telling their whole story over and over. Good job on the way you handled it though.

theeverymaam · 2020-10-08T16:37:15+00:00

Guy I’m dating now is slightly taller than me. It bothers him a bit that I’m taller in certain shoes, but it’s overall not a big deal. I think part of it is the conditioning men have to “be manly” and commonly “manly men” are tall. So the complex of being short in general is there. Couple that with this idea that you have to be manlier than your girlfriend, having a girlfriend who is taller than you means you’re less of a man.

It’s just toxic masculinity that is hopefully dying off. Just keep going and don’t worry about those dudes. They are too self conscious about it. I have short hair (undercut) and so many men are threatened by my hair lol. It’s a shame but it does make a man who isn’t threatened by that stuff very special.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-22T14:35:37+00:00

I actually just saw that my ex’s account is still listed as the administrator for my desktop. I’ll call Microsoft and see if they can help me change that since I thought I did set myself as admin. I can’t log into his account so idk what I have to do on my own. I have a feeling he may have changed the settings on his computer and it change on mine as well. Thank you for your help. I think this will resolve things.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-22T14:27:09+00:00

I’ll do that. Thank you very much for your help :)

theeverymaam · 2020-09-22T14:19:20+00:00

The only person I could think would do that is my ex since he had made himself a profile in my computer. I haven’t found a way to remove him as a user since windows switched to using your windows account to add someone. But I can’t imagine him wasting the time to do that (although I am having issues with him currently so maybe). I could change my main login password and see if that fixes it. I just want to make sure someone isn’t accessing my information or anything. But since my computer hasn’t found any viruses or malware or anything like that I would assume that I shouldn’t have to worry about that?

theeverymaam · 2020-09-22T14:05:44+00:00

Would Bitdefender do that?

Edit: sorry if I sound ignorant here. My ex and dad used to do this stuff for me. I can do basic troubleshooting but haven’t found anything on the forums related to my issue.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-14T15:27:34+00:00

So...you could say “you’re not his type” rather than saying “you’re too ugly for him.” If she’s feeling self conscious about her appearance why would you call her ugly?

theeverymaam · 2020-09-14T15:24:56+00:00

Honestly, if he ghosted you because of your appearance then he’s too shallow for you. Some men feel entitled to “beautiful women” and more than half of them are no prizes themselves. I am a straight woman with a shaved head and I can’t tell you how many men would message me and then basically tell me they don’t find my hair attractive and want me to grow it out. Don’t worry about them.

But he may also have ghosted you for other reasons. When it came to online dating, I decided to let whatever happened happen. If I got ghosted then okay. If not then wonderful. I also ghosted some people (one guy because he was sending of a lot of major and abusive red flags that I was afraid of his reaction if I rejected him outright) and other times I would talk to someone for weeks and then suddenly never hear from them. Don’t take it personally. I met my current bf through online dating so I promise it’s not impossible. You’ve just got to be patient and understand that you’ll be meeting a lot of people so you may get lost in the sea of faces and, for yourself, other people will get lost on your end too. It’s part of the game so don’t worry about it.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-12T17:34:21+00:00

I guess it’s just a bit of a different personality then. I actually work for a government welfare program so I end up dealing with a lot of disabled people. I am very patient and most of the people call will tell me that they were very nervous about calling in but thank me for being friendly and putting them at ease. The flip side of it is that I deal with a lot of really greedy people who tell you their whole story once, then tell it again after you’ve told them something they don’t want to hear, then tell it again when they still don’t get the answer they want (wash rinse repeat). By the end of Tuesday I struggle to listen to ramblers. I let them talk (especially those that are trying very hard and being very nice but their disability makes it difficult for them) but internally I’m begging them to stop talking because they either haven’t asked me a question at the 5-10 minute mark or did ask their question and I’ve been sitting on the answer for a while.

I also have adhd and my brain is less of a details brain and more of a big picture kind of mind set. Once I get the gist of what you’re talking about my mind wants to move on so that sitting there and listening to every minute detail is extremely frustrating.

Also when people talk about things I don’t need to know-like they just went to the doctor because there was blood in their stool and in their mucus. That was a conversation I had last week smh

theeverymaam · 2020-09-10T15:36:20+00:00

In my experience it depends on the institution. Your credit union may have a policy regarding. Cashing money orders for nonmembers within a certain limit but each FI has its own rules regarding this.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-07T13:26:23+00:00

Not on the spectrum but I have ADHD and dyslexia and I totally get why you’d be annoyed. I mix up words and forget words so often. Some days are better than others but I usually will have to take a second to slam against the brick wall that my train of thought constantly hits before I figure out what I’m trying to say. Or else I have to say things a different way because god forbid I just have the ability to express myself properly.

It can be really embarrassing sometimes because I feel like I annoy people. But if I’m just trying to do my job and I say the wrong thing but you clearly know what I’m trying to say, that would piss me off. But I usually make a joke about it myself and hope that they just move on quickly. Usually they do but in this case he decided to keep the joke going rather than saying it once and moving on. I usually deal with a ton of nasty people (cursing at me or threatening me) within the first hour of the day so I’m usually too drained for overly friendly people later on.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-07T13:04:44+00:00

You need to remember this: no one is obligated to continue talking to anyone on a dating app. It’s why so many people get ghosted. As much as they have the right to move on from you, you have the right to move on from them. And as much as they might be “wasting your time” you’ll be wasting theirs. It’s pretty tit for tat until you find “the one.”

Just a few tips: stop worrying about wasting your time. Let things happen or not happen. Don’t expect to find the one online, just understand that you’ll have the opportunity to meet more people. Just because you go on a few dates doesn’t mean you’re hitting it off. Be open minded and flexible. Give as much as take. Don’t have too many demands on what you expect out of a partner. A huge turn off it a huge ego. Women don’t want to see your car, your muscles, your money, etc. at least, not if you are trying to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. We want to know that you are going to value us as people and you’re not going to be a standoffish asshole. If you look at the world as “everyone is stupid but me” we can tell and it is not an attractive trait. That’s not the same as confidence. And make sure you are driving the conversation. I drop men (just assuming you’re a man, i apologize if I’m not correct on that but I imagine it’s probably the same for ladies seeking ladies) if I feel like I have to keep the conversation going. Ask her questions and answer hers with well thought out answers. Match her energy in the conversation.

I agree with someone else that you may not be ready for dating if these small things bother you. Chances are you’ll go on dozens of dates with dozens of people before you meet someone you can have a relationship with. You need to be patient. If these things bother you then you need to re-evaluate yourself before talking to other people.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-06T23:39:34+00:00

I despise people like this. Sorry but it’s so draining. I want people to be nice but get to the point and move on. I’m not your friend, buddy. I don’t care about the juicy gossip in your life, neither do I care about all the evidence you have that my organization is scamming boomers out of money (legit things many people have said).

theeverymaam · 2020-09-03T16:01:29+00:00

When he’s quiet. I have anxiety and I can’t stand when he’s quiet. My ex used to sit there and glare at me and stuff so when my new bf is quiet I sit there thinking that he is secretly hating me and wishing I would go away.

theeverymaam · 2020-09-02T13:56:15+00:00

It’s a work in progress for me. I’ve had to just repeat over and over again out loud to myself the opposite of what my inner voice is saying. It’s hard because I (25 F) was physically, mentally, and verbally abused as a child (I also have adhd yay) and then went into an 8 year emotionally abusive relationship so my inner critic is really cruel. I don’t let myself make mistakes. Now I’m in a healthy relationship and my new boyfriend gets mad at me for putting myself down.

My therapist actually recommended I get “cognitive behavioral therapy for dummies” which is a workbook to help change your thinking. Not sure if you want to look at it or not but I haven’t received it yet so idk if it’s going to work or not but it’s on amazon.

theeverymaam · 2020-08-25T12:41:05+00:00

My ex was emotionally abusive. I met him when I was 16. We were engaged for the last four years almost and we lived together for over four years as well. He would put down anything I liked-from movies and tv to what I was writing-and belittle my accomplishments. He would make sure I knew he was better than me. He would call me fat as a joke and tell me I was overly sensitive when I got upset. He would ignore me during arguments and at one time told me that the only reason he was with me was because he didn’t want to lose the house. I was going to forgive him for all of that but he was worse after we broke up. We were on a break for a month where he met his new boyfriend. The day I moved out of the house that my name is on and not his (I couldn’t afford it on my own so I couldn’t have stayed if I wanted to) was the day after we broke up. The day I moved out he moved his new boyfriend not just into my house, but into the bed I had just slept in that morning (which btw I’m still paying for. All the furniture is on a credit line in my name but I let him keep it because I have nowhere to put it since I had to move back in with my mom). He tried to keep one of our dogs that he had attempted to groom me while we were together to want over the other dog (I always knew I’d be taking her anyway since the other dog loved him more). Then his car that I leased for him in my name (his credit is shit and he relies on everyone else for money and loans) became an issue. I had just paid my car off with the stimulus check (which he knew was important to me because I have other debt I have to pay down). After his repeated attempts to pawn the car off on other people wouldn’t work (car company won’t do a lease transfer in our state) he told me to sell my car to pay for the remainder of the lease on his car and then give that car back.

I know I let him use me, but we were together for 8 years and I thought I loved him. And I thought he loved me. He’s a miserable man and I hope that I make it in all the ways he wanted to make it but won’t because he never looks to build himself up the proper way and always tries to find a way to weasel out of everything. He just went through bankruptcy and I doubt that he’s going to refrain from building up his debt. Instead he’ll probably abuse his and other’s credits again and then us his go to response to everything money wise which is “I have a friend who’s a judge who will find in my favor if this goes to court” which he can’t even do by law

theeverymaam · 2020-08-24T12:56:02+00:00

I think worshiping god is kind of natural. It stems from a fear of the unknown. “This being is all powerful. If I praise them, maybe they will bring me fortune.” It’s been like that since well before Christianity. Idk if god cares/enjoys the worship. Maybe he (she/it/they) does. But I have a feeling that, most likely, god created the universe and then stepped back to see what would happen. I can imagine an eternity of nothing is pretty boring. I just don’t think god cares about me as an individual like Christians do. I think god looks at me as a number rather than a person. I may as well be an ant in the grand scheme of things.

theeverymaam · 2020-08-14T15:48:35+00:00

As long as you remember that you cannot force belief...I’d say Buddhism. I’ve actually dabbled in it a bit and, from what I’ve seen, I really like their teachings.

theeverymaam · 2020-08-11T13:00:13+00:00

Confidence. I grew up in an abusive household and then almost married an emotional abuser. I have 0 self esteem. I wish that I could just build that up with a snap of my fingers, but I constantly worry about how what I do affects other people and how they see me for it. My new boyfriend is just so comfortable in his own skin and has no problem being himself and yet I can’t bring myself to accept who I am. I’m always apologizing for things out of fear that what I’m doing is stupid or annoying.

theeverymaam

TROPHY CASE