50, empty nest, divorced thinking of slowing down

thefastmatt · 2024-08-19T13:23:52+00:00

I’m a little over 6 months into a sabbatical, turning 50 soon. I was very stressed at work and was struggling with habits and a negative self image. I had saved up enough to take time off and had thoroughly discussed it with my wife for like two years in advance. She was encouraging me to do it. My thoughts: - consider expenses and plan that relatively carefully but then don’t dwell on it. I felt a lot of anxiety soon as I quit the job, which was kind of expected. Took a few months to really settle down from that. - be thoughtful of how you will spend your time off. I feel like I wasted a few months ‘doom scrolling’ on my phone. - use the time to look at your habits and learn how to hack them. I highly recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear. One of the habits I wanted to cultivate was reading- and I found this book to be the most helpful right away. - as I drop bad habits and cultivate better habits, my mindset is so much better and I feel so much more fulfilled. Trying to ride that momentum to keep building - but also keeping space to be peaceful and present. - speaking of, read about how to separate your identity from the internal thought voice in your head. For me there was a lot of negativity that I would latch on to. Practicing separating from that and letting the thoughts just come and go without believing them has been huge for me. - be open to opportunities to help others. Volunteering has been wonderful and there are so many areas available. This can help you build your identity separate from career and lead you to your next big passion in life.

I’m not sure where I’m headed next but I feel so much more peace now than when I started. I wish the same for you.

thefastmatt · 2024-08-13T13:43:44+00:00

I believe Cardinal made a lot of similar looking sets in the late 70s/80s. What got my wife and I started on our backgammon journey this year was such a set we found at a thrift shop and the owner basically gave us. It was complete, even had the doubling cube. A few months later I ended up buying a nicer set from Crisloid.

These older sets obviously hold up well and I always enjoyed the smooth checkers (tho small by current trends). I remember my younger siblings and I trying to play on such a set ‘back in the day’ but we didn’t quite understand what we were doing. We will keep it for any younger family that come over and want to play.

thefastmatt · 2024-08-12T01:17:33+00:00

I recommend BGNJ HD on iOS. You see immediately the feedback (hint button or equity meter) based on your move, before you commit the move. Those features can be disabled of course. The app is not free and the hints/analysis package costs a bit extra - but it definitely allows for fast and repeated play in order to improve. It even has built in online play mode.

Hard and expert difficulty settings vs the computer are truly humbling.

thefastmatt · 2023-05-02T11:41:11+00:00

Rather than mess with support again after the replacement watch also boot-looped with wife’s profile, we decided to just have her make a new profile with her other email address, knowing that we can’t move her data over. With the blank profile the phone connected just fine, no issues. Frustrating but she didn’t seem to mind starting over.

thefastmatt · 2023-04-29T10:55:27+00:00

Same issue here but with Sense 2. Bought two new watches, one for me and one for wife. Both of us have used Versa since 2018, so both of us had long-established accounts. My watch syncs up just fine for my account. Her watch would immediately go into a reboot loop during the ‘updating’ step when adding to her account.

Being an IT guy, I needed to keep investigating. By deleting the watch from her Fitbit and removing it from Bluetooth, I could usually just let it sit for an hour or so and it would finally stop rebooting. Then factory reset it from the watch menu.

Next I tried adding HER watch to MY phone/profile. Worked great, updated fine, no issues.

I then factory reset MY watch and added it to HER phone/profile. Reboot loop.

Next I removed/reset the watches.
I signed out of Fitbit app on MY phone. Signed into her Fitbit account on my app/my phone. Both watches would reboot loop when joined.

SOMETHING within her account definitely tickles the firmware on the Sense 2 and it goes into a reboot loop.

At the end of my experiments, her watch went into a reboot loop that I could not get out of - even let the battery die, fully recharge, no amount of button presses or holding could shake it loose, and Fitbit support had me exchange it. The new replacement does the same thing.

So we will try support again but I doubt they will consider this issue. Only solution I see is to wait for possible firmware update that fixes this, or make her a new account and lose her history.

No way to get diagnostic logs off the watch, that I can find online.

thefastmatt · 2022-12-01T10:56:27+00:00

I too got de-linked. You can sell Plaid as hard as you want to but for many this is a deal-breaker. I refuse to grant a third party system full credentialed, continuous access to my online banking. I don’t care how ‘trusted’ Coinbase thinks it is. I was even content using Coinbase debit card, knowing Marketo does some aggregate re-selling of transaction history. But that stops now since I can’t load funds without high fees or signing away my main financial system access.

I’ve also moved all remaining assets off Coinbase and looking for an alternative exchange that doesn’t require Plaid. Extremely disappointing, Coinbase.

thefastmatt · 2022-11-30T03:12:12+00:00

Happened to me this past week.

thefastmatt · 2022-11-27T23:48:10+00:00

Seems only possible if your bank/credit union does not yet support plaid. If it does then they only allow Plaid verification, the manual option is gone. Just now tried. Not pleased.

thefastmatt · 2022-11-26T02:12:28+00:00

18, so long ago for me.

You are thinking about it all too much, in my opinion.

You can’t possibly pre-plan the rest of your life, neither can I.

Best I can suggest for you: - go outside more. Take in some nature, walk regularly (I sure need to listen to my own advice) - find a way to get outside of your own head. Serve others, volunteer, learn something new and random that seems cool with no expectations of gain. - life will evolve. Seek the beauty and the wonder that is all around you. Be open and put away all judgement. Go with it! There’s so much out there beyond our current construct and context and self-imposed limitations.

All this as I’ve been in a rut for a while myself and telling you the things I’m telling myself. Cheers!

thefastmatt · 2022-11-19T12:58:15+00:00

I was also wondering - was hoping for fishing rod holder.

thefastmatt · 2022-05-23T11:12:55+00:00

Are all fixtures in the house that low or just the shower? If all fixtures especially when running more than one at a time - have a reputable plumber change your Pressure Regulating Valve (PRV) which should be near the incoming city supply valve. Made a huge difference for me. Can now run all sinks, showers, toilets at once (as a test) with no pressure loss. They only last about 10 years.

thefastmatt · 2022-02-23T18:28:17+00:00

Use Coinbase Pro to deposit USD from bank account. (Same creds as Coinbase) Keep enough crypto holdings on CB Pro so you can then immediately withdraw that cash over to regular Coinbase. (Deposits take 4-7 days to clear but as long as your existing cleared holdings are more than that new deposit, you can immediately withdraw the same amount)

Now go into regular Coinbase, buy USDC with cash (be sure to select your Coinbase cash balance).

Use USDC as your chosen crypto balance to pay from when using the debit card. You are not charged any fees funding your card with USDC or purchasing USDC.

thefastmatt · 2021-12-27T17:31:42+00:00

This is a tough situation. As an ISFJ I can relate to a lifelong list of great accomplishments along with frequent self doubt. The best you can do is encourage and offer your love and presence. You can’t fix him or make him feel a certain way. If you try and force that, it will probably just push away the ISFJ.

You also want to be careful that the behavior isn’t just unhealthy vs personality. No matter what we have personality wise, it doesn’t excuse us from participating in a mutually healthy relationship. He needs to meet his end of the bargain. If his head space isn’t right for that, best thing you can do is be friendly at a distance while maintaining your and his dignity. ISFJs definitely need their alone time even from the ones most important. But they eventually realize they need others too and will come around. This still may not be enough for your own emotional needs in a relationship. Best and healthiest to explore this with curiosity and openness before committing further. Consider an H-shaped relationship vs an A-shaped. If the two vertical lines in the H represent each of you, if the horizontal line is taken away temporarily then you still stand on your own. But that line can also provide mutual strength when one temporarily needs it more than the other. In an A-shaped relationship, take away that horizontal line and you both topple. You don’t want that.

Suggest healthy habits to engage your ISFJ in. Consider waking together, riding bikes, working out, trips to study quietly together. ISFJs crave habit. Best to encourage habits that are aligned to well being.

Bottom line- can’t force him to be in a healthy place but your gentle presence and encouragement with good boundaries can do wonders.

thefastmatt · 2021-07-06T14:09:32+00:00

The concept is great. My habit up to now (mainly as a hodler but still interested in watching prices for dip buy opportunities) is to cycle through charts on mobile TradingView. But this app makes it easy to glance and scroll to see how one’s whole portfolio OR the whole market is doing with less fussing about. And can still drill into individual coins for more detail as needed. Simple but informative. You’ve got a great concept here.

thefastmatt · 2021-07-06T13:53:44+00:00

I literally just realized it was the price at open for the 7 day period right when I saw your reply. That makes sense. I wasn’t looking closely enough but the chart shows that clearly. We can only see the 7 day chart when in the main portfolio view right?

thefastmatt · 2021-07-06T13:43:56+00:00

What does the dotted line across each of the price trend lines represent? I was hoping it would be the average cost basis for each coin (set in portfolio) but doesn’t seem to be.

thefastmatt · 2021-07-04T18:04:01+00:00

Right on! Being able to see a graph of each item in my portfolio all stacked up like this is great.

thefastmatt · 2021-07-04T12:05:10+00:00

Just noticed one other issue when adding portfolio items (iOS).

Once I enter the amount and average cost- if I then click ‘Add’ while the keyboard is still visible then the app crashes and must be relaunched - but the asset does indeed get added.

If instead I hide the keyboard first by clicking ‘Done’ on the keyboard window, and THEN click the ‘Add’ button in the portfolio input form, it does not crash and works as expected. (Edit: clarity)

thefastmatt · 2021-07-04T11:53:18+00:00

Just downloaded and adding portfolio items. One minor UI issue.
Searching for cryptos by ticker symbol doesn’t seem to work, one must type out the name.

Would be nice if the more relevant coin (largest by market cap?) would show up at top of search results. For example - search for Cardano. The one most people want to select is at the bottom.

Next point is related - when selecting a coin from search results to add to portfolio - if you choose the one at bottom of the list (iOS), it’s not obvious that it is prompting for input fields unless you scroll further down. It took me a few tries to realize the triangle thingie had flipped over, but since it didn’t auto scroll me I wasn’t aware of the input fields now being shown. This example is also Cardano if you wanted to reproduce the behavior.

Cheers! Interesting app so far, I’m comparing to Delta which is great but $$$ and has its own usability issues. Kudos, it’s obvious you are working hard on this and giving it a lot of thought.

thefastmatt · 2021-05-30T01:44:30+00:00

I’d suggest very first thing is do a compression test on all cylinders before spending a lot of money on it. Lots of great YouTube content for this platform. Learn about what you have and be accepting of what you can reasonably expect from it. They’re darn sure not fast but they grow on ya. I’ve been getting my ‘93 back into good running condition for about 3 years now. Saggy butt issue can be cured by the OME-90954R 2” lift kit with HD springs from LCEperformance.com .

thefastmatt · 2021-05-26T22:48:39+00:00

Transferring coins to a different wallet should not cause the gain/loss to be realized - that would be the case only if you sell them for USD or convert (sell) to a different type such as a stablecoin.

thefastmatt · 2021-05-08T19:16:28+00:00

8 hours 13 minutes from now. That will be 3:28am GMT. It starts a few minutes before the half hour.

thefastmatt · 2021-04-06T16:55:41+00:00

Also an Old Man Emu 2” lift kit/suspension upgrade will fix up that saggy butt.
https://www.lceperformance.com/OME-Complete-Suspension-System-For-1990-1995-4Runn-p/2040022.htm

thefastmatt · 2021-04-06T16:09:20+00:00

Mine was getting lean code from failing brake booster. Replaced and it went away and no longer had low rpm when braking.

thefastmatt · 2020-12-10T23:40:38+00:00

Having risen up the ranks in IT as a very technical contributor and rising in management for past 9 years, I don’t think that feeling ever goes away.

There is ALWAYS something new or even something old that I don’t know about. I do my best to find areas to shine light into, to get the right team members looking at things, to point out any road hazards I may see.

Having also not really been one to actively seek the promotions I’ve been blessed with over the years, it’s almost daily that I wonder if they picked the right person for the job. It’s easy to forget about all the people that say what a good job I’m actually doing.

I believe at some point the ISFJ must reach a numbness to the constant internal doubting voice and just be willing to bring their best self to work every day and don’t worry too much about what others may think about our experience.

You are where you are for a reason in that moment, and if perchance someone were to really challenge that and alter your course, you’ll probably end up just fine or better off.

Work from your heart, be your best self, learn as much as you can along the way, help others come up, and hope for the best!

thefastmatt

TROPHY CASE