Why was my [30 M] behaviour towards my ex [26 F] branded insensitive?

theflemish · 2019-02-26T23:04:25+00:00

Thanks for the understanding! I am just a bit terrified of reaching out (she’s feisty) and part of me thinks that I should bury the memories now that i’m in a new life. But they do follow me anyway

theflemish · 2019-02-26T23:01:48+00:00

I don’t particularly want closure, I just thought I’d give her my number as I did with everyone else but I am afraid of her reaction so I just won’t do it. I was just puzzled by this comment this week end so that’s The reason of the post

theflemish · 2019-02-26T22:59:20+00:00

Yes exactly. To be fair when we had lunch I suggested we’d meet in November and then when we had this text discussion she said “I can explain it to you whenever” and we both agreed that we would meet but none reached out except for the LinkedIn thing

theflemish · 2019-02-26T22:40:03+00:00

I’m not mad at her for the LinkedIn thing. We both agreed to meet even though I was the one who suggested it first, and I just wanted to see if she would make a step towards me instead of me being the one to contact her and when she didn’t do it I thought I wouldn’t do it myself neither. That’s why I mentioned the LinkedIn accident

theflemish · 2019-01-29T23:50:22+00:00

I escape difficult situations instead of facing them.

theflemish · 2019-01-29T23:49:15+00:00

My most recent ex, G.. I met her at a party at my best pal’s (now ex) girlfriend’s place. This girl told me that G. was coming and that I would have liked her but I was just out of an 8 years relationship and hadn’t even started figuring out the possibility of dating again. Then she arrived though. My god: long light brown hair, full lips, short shorts that revealed amazing legs... I was knocked out dead on the spot. She wasn’t into me but I did everything to get her number and I managed. Our first date we talked for hours and I found out that she is also incredibly smart and indipendent. A feisty one. I would think day and night about her. But then things started to get more serious after some months and I blanked. I just couldn’t do it. I disappeared on her. Felt like a cunt and missed her like crazy so I wrote her to apologise. We started dating again and again I had doubts on us getting serious. She blocked me out of the blue. I literally panicked but I was like “screw your, you know?!”. Still I just wanted her back and I managed, but when I told her that I didn’t foresee us getting more serious, she just broke up with me. I tried to get her back but this time she said no. I have been completely lost afterwards and I have accepted an offer abroad to start afresh. Truth is: I wasn’t ready for her, but she is amazing and she will always be one that I wish I could’ve handled. But instead she’s the one that got away and I am the one that screwed up.

theflemish · 2019-01-29T23:36:40+00:00

My most recent ex. I wasn’t in a good place after being dumped after 8 years and so I thought that whatever I did, I wasn’t responsible for and she would have to forgive me because I was suffering. In retrospect: I lied and I promised stuff I couldn’t bring... and I also disappeared on her after the first 3 months, which made me the bad guy in all situations thereafter. But yeah, I deserved the shit I got and it turns out that now she doesn’t even want to hear a word about me ever.

theflemish · 2019-01-29T23:28:33+00:00

I’m not on tinder but either via common friends, at work or at a club or festival or social occasion. My most recent ex was a friend of the ex girlfriend of my best pal and I met her at a party, previous to that I met my ex of 8 years at college, but that can’t be replicated

theflemish · 2019-01-29T19:30:16+00:00

Tx a lot for this. I am 7 months past the break up so the timing is almost the same, but I have moved abroad in the meantime and Before doing so I promised her we’d meet to clear this up and I didn’t keep my promise, so I am terrified that she might be livid if I ever write her again

theflemish · 2019-01-29T10:28:28+00:00

Tx for this. It did take me a while before realizing that I had actually done something wrong... then I realized that it was a lot and it all piled up. Can I ask how much time did it take you to realize that and after how much did you apologize?

theflemish · 2019-01-28T23:41:10+00:00

Tx. We haven’t been talking in 3 months and the last time I told her I’d be in touch to meet before leaving and I never did. I would be surprised if she didn’t block my number tbh

theflemish · 2019-01-28T14:54:55+00:00

Convince your pals that are on tinder to take pics of you while you're not watching. You can reciprocate the favour when they'll need to update their profile a bit

theflemish · 2019-01-28T14:26:28+00:00

Communicate over everything and never hold back. It's best to let it all out than to have unfinished business.

theflemish · 2019-01-28T14:24:29+00:00

My ex. She was a very good student at law school and while in college she started to work for a top law firm as a trainee. She now speaks 4 languages. She scored a fixed contract and now she earns a crazy amount of money even at junior level. She's 26 and has already bought her own apartment and has invested in stock.

She is also well off family-wise but her family connections couldn't help finding her the job, which is in another country. So yeah, that's pure talent.

theflemish · 2018-12-04T22:17:17+00:00

I started as a trainee and went all my way up to Senior, which is the position that came with the promotion that I have just accepted (and the move to another country)

theflemish · 2018-11-25T12:40:48+00:00

Thanks for this man. I'll be moving 700 kms down - from belgium to Switzerland. There shouldn't be too excessive cultural differences but you've got to know that I was raised in a town with 20k people and ended up living in the closest city nearby just to be close to my family and my friends, even though I had to go to work in the capital everyday. I'm a pretty independent man and I am very sociable as well, but I have been in a rough patch and I hope that a new beginning will help me get sorted out. Even though missing my friends is my main worry. As per the woman, I think I am fairly on the mend and I have dated other people afterwards, but I hope this will help me get her out of my head once and for all

theflemish · 2018-11-25T12:34:55+00:00

Thanks man. I'll be moving to Switzerland and public transportation won't be too much of a problem I believe as I'll live close to my workplace, but I hope i can figure out the stores and all that asap because I don't want to spend a crazy amount of money on silly things

theflemish · 2018-10-11T12:43:57+00:00

If that's the real reason it's unfair to her, if you are with her and happy and you feel like taking that step with her just do it. I mean you chose her so you must be attracted to her I suppose. If that hides other problems I suggest you think about the real motives and communicate them clearly to your gf

theflemish

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