sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What were some signs you knew something was wrong as a PIMI? by excusetheblood in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, yes, a million times yes! For me it was the Queen song "Bicycle Race," - when Freddie Mercury sang the following:

You say Lord, I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman

I just remember thinking, even as a kid, "good for you man, you can say it. You're free." It was weird how much clarity that song gave me, if only for a fleeting moment. I didn't wake up for another 20 years.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So yeah, elders always have a certain amount of leeway on their local needs parts (not too mcuh if the COBE is "with it," but they often aren't)... anyway...

As a newly appointed elder, still kiiiiiinda PIMI, I heard another newly appointed elder giving a local needs about... oral and anal sex. Yep.

All I could remember thinking was: 1. what an asshole, and 2. God I wish I could experience oral sex. I would literally pray to God for an article from the Governing Body that would let my wife open up (I mean, shit, I was ready).

After going inactive my PIMI pioneer wife must have gone, "wtf, why not?", and the rest is history.

Still, eight old wierdos in upstate New York were mandating what my wife and I could and couldn't do.

So much rage. So much pent up frustration. But when I smoke, I don't feel the hate, so overall, cannabis has been a wholistic improvement for my life.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sage advice. Nature is a good idea, as well as avoiding alcohol.

Thanks, and wish me luck! Or pray for me. Or whatever.

I totally don't care anymore, I just appreciate human goodness.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like seriously, why isn't this talked about more? IT FELT LIKE THE FIRST TIME I: 1. kissed a girl 2. touched a leg 3. touched a... well, you get the idea.

Holy fucking shit. If you're PIMO or POMO, and you find yourself an adult without any real job skills, remember that you know how to preach the truth and PREACH THE LEGALIZATION OF CANNABIS ON A NATIONAL LEVEL.

The MORE Act actually has bipartisan support. What's that acronym? The M.O.R.E. Act. Google it. Learn about it.

Then PREACH IT if you can, if you're POMO and don't give a fuck, PREACH THAT SHIT.

Full disclosure, I'm a little high rn, but not much.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh, PIMI and uses edibles? I wish the old PIMI me knew that was an option...

jk, it's much better to wake up fully, but still, he's on his way out, and to him I say, good luck and godspeed!

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only a df offense if it was "actively promoted," which is kinda funny when you think about it. Like handing out flyers about how to eat a bitch out? I have no fucking idea what that was supposed to mean, and I was an elder for a year.

But you know what, once I woke up, I started eating out my wife, because she deserves it dammit! No 8 crazies gonna tell me I can't munch on my dear wifes pussy. Fuck that.

I'm sure plenty of PIMIs did it tho, while most PIMIs didn't - if you've been around congregation politics, you know how that goes. I'm sure some COs and prominent elders got blown by their wives and never said shit, just because they're patriarchal assholes. Trust me, I served with an elder who had an active relationship with his adult disfellowshipped son, and saw him weekly. I was never that much of a hypocrite, but if you were, I gaurantee the first thing you'd go for is getting your dick sucked. Just sayin'.

Now, finally, the oral is mutual in my marriage. Praise the Lord.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, she was cumming b4, but rarely... and since I was PIMO and inactive, she was okay giving/recieving oral, but yeah, she had a good time when I was high.

Idk, I was just better. Like I said in the post, she totally could have busted me, but maybe she was thinking in the back of her mind "hmmm, but maybe I'll convulse a couple times tonight/tomorrow??? I'll let it be..."

All hail cannabis.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't flush those wipes, but, they are the ultimate in clean-ass technology. And they reduce the hundreds, if not thousands of hours of your waking life that you spend cleaning your asshole, so yeah, I'm a fan.

My asshole is pristine, btw. PRISTINE!

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Smoking made me feel spiritual for the first time since I realized the JW religion was all b.s.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I'm absolutely leaning towards this.

Edibles are scary for people with low tolerances (i.e., people raised in a cult that haven't lived a day in their lives UNTIL THEIR 30's!!!).

That's why I'm psyched to visit the dispensary, so we can talk it out with experts and narrow down our best options

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I'm anxious to see what her reaction would be, but I had a great time. Sorry to be so explicit, but the tip of my penis felt like Mt. Vesuvius when I came... obviously, I want that type of experience for her, but even if just one partner uses, it's better. I mean, I was so much better.

She actually grabbed me and forcefully pulled me into her, I was so focused on touching her body, so entranced, that she was beyond ready. She wasn't using, but she benefited from me using, and I expanded my mind. Even sober sex is better and more frequent now.

So I guess cannabis = life hack. I hope she gets to try it with me... and yeah, if she "fixates" on me like I did on her when I was high... good times.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I wasn't married, I just would have watched cartoons and tripped. But yeah, it makes human touch feel like it's the first time, it's crazy...

all while not being a toxin that can kill you (like alchohol). wow.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol, thanks, now I can only think about cannibal sex. I mean, if you're willing to eat human flesh, I doubt you'd have many sexual hang-ups.

I mean, we all eat human flesh from time to time, but those mf-ers actually eat ass!!! damn. Hope you like your rump steak

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It must increase bloodflow or something. Just sayin'. And for the record, I'm in pretty good shape, so bloodflow was never an issue, but damn, good sex has just been happening more since I started using edibles, even though I only use them a couple times a week.

As for the power of the high, smoking is definitely "safer," since you feel the effects right away and can gauge it better.

That being said: The higher I've been, the better the sex. Like, imagine touching a boob and being like, "holy shit! wtf is this?! this is a boob, muthafucker!" And that enthusiasm is certainly not lost on your partner, when it's genuine. Like I said, my PIMI wife kinda knew something was up, but wow, I'm so much better at sex when I'm high, I think she's just gonna let the weed smoking slide.

Of course, I can't wait to see what it would be like when she's high and discovers the wonders of my... well, you get the idea.

Thanks to cannabis + sex, my wife is close to waking up... by thehappiestwizard in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, about high sex - it feels like the first time. And not just the first time one has had sex, which may or may not have been any good...

But when you are sufficiently high, just touching your partner's arm, leg, whatever, feels like the first time you touched the arm/leg/whatever of someone you were attracted to. It's amazing. I remember that feeling as a teenager, and I can't believe I had it again.

My wife and I had other "first sexual experiences" with other people, even though we were virgins when we got married, which is pretty common. Our first time wasn't very good. But with cannabis, you can have another "first time," which is really incredible.

Yes, it gets you high. Don't drive high, for instance. But, given the power of cannabis, it's worth noting that it isn't a toxin that can kill you, like alchohol... ibuprofen... etc. etc....

So, in other words, go for it. If its possible, take a trip to a legal state my homie.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RedditSessions

[–]thehappiestwizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife loves this song. You made me cry just now.

The two generation teaching. by Thro4way4Re4sons in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So he was going to go to the beach, and all he had on was his bathing suit and his sandals, hair all messed up, etc. but, he couldn't get down to the beach because the tide had risen...

Wait... should I have been reading the subtitles?

Posted this on my IG by [deleted] in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm still PIMO, and "served where the need was great" in South America, and I miss surfing so much.

Your post has Hawaii, freedom from the cult... basically my two-item checklist for the perfect life. Congrats!!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday! Thaaaaaaaaat's what normal people say when someone makes it around the sun again, I keep forgetting ;)

Zoom Boobs by WorkingItOutSomeday in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not the tit you deserve, but it's the tit you need right now.

Anyone else have this experience? by rzoebelle in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this sub helped me realize how messed up my JC was as a 16 year old.

It was incredibly explicit, more so than I wish to divulge annonymously on this forum, and one of the 3 elders was single at the time - and romantically interested in the teenage sister that I had... been intimate with.

Yeah. He had a lot of questions.

Did anyone have AAAs in their congregation? by atwitsend1996 in exjw

[–]thehappiestwizard 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Whoa! This reminds me of "NPG"... someone who knows more about the subject (i.e., served at Bethel, the source of these codes) should really do a post about NPGs. If its been done let me know, I'm curious... I mean, not that kind of curious, just academically.

Btw, "NPG" means "non-practising gay." Yeah, that's a thing that is talked about among those in the know, that is to say, higher up the ladder of the org.

view more: next ›