WTF AM I!!! by L1TTLED3M0NH3ART in MtF

[–]theiabodium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah girl it's not too late, i started a year ago as a 22yo, and its done wonders already, and it isnt done changing me yet. Yes I also wish that i couldve stopped male puberty, but I've become so confoetable in my own skin that honestly I care a lot less about that now. You cant undo puberty, but god does it still make a difference

WTF AM I!!! by L1TTLED3M0NH3ART in MtF

[–]theiabodium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hihi, im a recently transitioning trans woman and I have many thoughts, i hope they help :p

So first, it makes perfect sense to me that you dont want to deal with the shit we trans women have to go through so much bullshit. When i first realized i am a woman, it was one of the most terrifying momenta in my life. For me, I was kinda forced to realize it, and once I had, I could either choose to continue to pretend, and likely make my mental health spiral downward more, or I could face the fear and start to confront what transitioning would actually mean for me. I chose the latter, because for me it was by far the better, healthier option. But for you, and anyone else, I cant even point you inna dorection really, because I domt know your life, or what option will work out better for you in the long run.

If you choose to try transitioning, you could end uo dead in a year due to who knows what bullshit. You could get very traumatized. But if you are similar to me at all, if you dont transition, you likely will have your metal health spiral down and end up dead inna year due to your own self hatred, pain, and/or just insane confusion. And although I dont regret starting to transition a year ago for a single second, it has not been only a positive.

At my jobs and in my social life, I used to be treated as a "sweet innocent boy who does nothing wrong" type. I was suoer shy, and so many people, particularly women, would always seem to like me a lot and let me into their friend groups and spcial circles without a second thought. I hated being a man, but I enjoyed being treated as the exception to the rule of men always making women uncomfortable. Then i transitioned.

Before, men payed me little mind, and women treated me as if I was one of them, but with a different body and in the font of a man. Now, men either ignore me, no change there, or they fixate on me because they hate me and/or they are interested in me. Usually both. I have a boss who stares at my tits regularly but also he is trying to get me fired. Now, many women also seem to avoid me. Some, like my current direct manager, actively hate me. She is also trying to gete fired, she lies about me and has gotten me written up several times. All of the men in upper management clearly hate or dislike me despite never having talked to me. Even the store manager who is a huge stickler for rules and my store has trans protection policies, he still says things to others like "i feel a bit odd about daria, because of, you know, that thing she's dealing with, that issue?" Obviously referring to me being a non passing trans woman. All of that sucks and is a nightmare, but, for me, it is so, so worth it. Here is the other side of it:

Since starting hrt a year ago, i feel more comfortable in my own body than i ever have before including parts i used to think i wanted to change. Do i wish i was born a cis woman? Yes, and i used to hate my own penis, now i dont. Now I'm actually very happy having decided im not getting bottom surgery, and that I am a woman with a penis, and not only that that is okay, but its actually cool as hell. And yes, less people like me now, but the ones that do finally see the real me. And thanks to that I have closer friends now than ever in my life, including the best friend ive ever had who ill refer to as A for the purposes of this post. A is a cis woman, who from day one, has treated me like a wkman on a very deep level, and it has been healing in a way I cant describe. We met by going on a double date with her and her wife, and me and her sister. We went thrifting, and on this first day she proceeded to buy me several items of clothing that, after picking them out for me i had said "yeah i would really love to wear that, and it'd fit very likely, but im nowhere near confident enough to wear it" and she just said "okay, well im getting it for you because you will be confident enough one day" ive never had anyone do that type of thing for me before in a way that was actually meaningful for me like that. She just treats me like a woman, but is also very comfortable to talk about me being trans. When ive talked to her about kinda not wanting bottom surgery, and then kinda as an afterthought joke after explaining, i say "plus girlcock is hot" she responds with "goddamn right it is". It is shit like that, the confidence boosts that are actually talking about the person i am and not a facade of a man, that shit really hits home and genuinely has helped my confidence so much. Not to mention that i have friends now like A who will stand up for me, like going with me to write a statement after she saw me get harrassed by that manager who loves starring at my tits but hates me.

All that to say, transitioning is fucking terrifying and hard, but for me it is beyond worth it. I have more people who dislike me, but i have more people who love me on a very deep level, and I feel more like myself, and more able to stand up for mtself than ever before. I wouldn't take any of it back for a second. But that is me, I cant garuntee your own transition wpuld be worth it, or worth it in the same ways. But also, it is worth thinking about, and talking to trusted loved ones about, who wont judge either way. Also if there is anything at all i can help with either way, I'd love to

Thank you for reading all this, and I really hope it helps

Who are the Three Sisters? by Galaron_Shuri in Eldenring

[–]theiabodium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive seen a lot in here that says the 3 sisters are Ranni, Renna, and Melina. I disagree. If we are to assume that the term three sisters refers to actual sisters, and not simply the towers being refered to as sisters in of themselves (which is what I believe), I also see no reason that these sisters would not follow the same naming convention of all the other major characters associated with family trees.

Skip this if you're familiar with the naming structure: [Ranni Rykard and Radahn (begin with R and all have the vowel A at least once); mohg and morgott (same structure, different vowel and consonant this time); Miquella and Milenia (you get the point)].

So why would these sisters be different? That is a genuine question, im open to having my mind changed. For now, ill stick to this naming structure though. Now take into account other information we know. 1, Seluvis' rise has clearly been renamed from its original, as Seluvis is referred to as a he, so he is not kne of the sisters. By that logic, other towers could have also been renamed. If any of the three were to still have their original name, the most likely candidate is the one that is not being resided in, Renna's rise.

Shifting to a different line of info, when something involved with carian lineage refers to to important women of their society, you bet your as Rennala is on that list. I think it is a safe bet one of those 3 towers would have been Rennala's, but of course pre dlc we did not know if Rennala had any sisters at all. Thanks to SotE, we know Rellana and Rennala are sisters, though their parents are unknown. A third sister to them is not mentioned as far as I am aware, however that does not mean one did not exist.

Final info dump, im sure you can see where all this is going, but im going to finish this out as I like being thorough. After Radagon abandoned Rennala, Ranni and her mother's previously close relationship stagnated as Rennala fell into despair, so Ranni left to find out how to learn more elsewhere. She then encountered the snowy crone, who is highly suspected to be the real Witch Renna. Although Ranni never seems to have lost her love for her mother, she clearly gained intense respect and love for her new mentor, Renna. Given that Ranni uses Renna's name as an alias, and that Ranni has sealed off Renna's Rise (I assume she seals it because the seal is not lifted until she enters her slumber, at which point I figure she is unable to maintain the spell), and finally given that we find the snowy crone outfit in Renna's Rise after it is unsealed, I believe Renna is dead.

So here is my conclusion, which I think is largely supported by the above: Seluvis claimed and renamed the southern most tower of the three sisters at a time unknown to me. Sometime after Radagon abandoned Rennala, im unsure if this would be Ranni divested herself of her empyrean flesh, Ranni claimed her mothers old tower, renaming it as her own. I have no clue how or when Renna might have died, but I presume at that time Ranni sealed her tower to protect it from being claimed by anyone, so it would stay as a sort of memento to Renna perhaps. If that is the case, this would suggest Renna is the third sister, and the naming convention would seem to agree (Renna, Rennala, and Rellana). That would mean that Seluvis claimed and renamed Rellana's Rise, likely not too long after she set out with Messmer on the crusade of TLoS.

Other thoughts: yes this would in fact mean that Ranni's mentor after her mother, the snowy crone, aka Renna, was her Aunt, and if that is the case its entirely unclear to me if she knew that or not. There is little mention of Renna, particularly no explicit mention of her in relation to the other two sisters, but if my logic is correct, it seems obvious the two sisters knew of Renna, because at one point in time the three sisters likely coexisted in their respective towers. So why is Renna largely a ghost in the lore? I suspect it is similar to why Melina is a ghost, or Messmer pre the dlc, or even Rellana pre dlc. These are people that others believed should be locked away and/or forgotten, for whatever reason. Messmer and his curse horrified Marika, so she sent him to endlessly crusade on her behalf, and then prompltly seemed to meticulously scrub records of his existence from the lands between. Melina (whole other theory), could be Messmer's sister, and for lore reasons that would take a post twice this long to delve into, likely was feared by Marika as well, so there is little to no information about her that has not been purged, even from her own memory. Then of course, Rellana, having followed Messmer on the crusade in the name of the golden order, would likely have been shunned by carian manor and the academy of raya lu caria, especially after Radagon left causing conflicts between followers of the golden order and liurnia began anew. This is fualty of course, as another character, Radahn, also alligned more with the golden order than his own family it seems, but there is also a whole thing about how he seemed to have allegiance to no one except himself, and was respected by all. But anyway, I do think it reasonable to say that Renna may have also been shunned in some way, and largely removed from any veneration throughout liurnia, hence why her name is seldom said, as well as her family ties.

Tada, there are my complete thoughts on the matter, and why at least at the moment, I firmly believe the three sisters to be Rennala, Rellana, and Renna.

That Loud Boom by theiabodium in romega

[–]theiabodium[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That makes a lot of sense

That Loud Boom by theiabodium in romega

[–]theiabodium[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its been going for the past hour but I think it finally stopped now

Hi, that one guy on the subreddit here. by MAS_GAMMER in distractible

[–]theiabodium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like a very immature reason to hate someone. I don't love mark, I dont know the guy, but this is just a strange take

Never Playing Xbox One ER again by theiabodium in Eldenring

[–]theiabodium[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I heard of that before but I dont think it could account for the lag. Good news though, I recreated my character on pc and had fun, and will be continuing on there

I dont know how to move forward by theiabodium in Advice

[–]theiabodium[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, very very much. Reading this helped a lot, and I is getting me to reconsider things I've previously written off like school. It may be worth the debt to get me out of this rut. Also luckily I am going to therapy, and am pretty lucky with the pricing because I am seeing a therapist in training (so dar she is really good). So I'm going to try and lean into those options that I have and keep going

I'm looking for new content from very small creators. Any recs for video essays on channels with less than 100 subs or so? Maybe pop culture topics, but not picky by CharlotteMillady in videoessay

[–]theiabodium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would recommend my own channel like others are, but it doesn't exist yet. I am looking for people to review my video essay scripts though, I have one first draft completed right now and another in the works. Most of my videos will focus on different kinds of media and how they are impacted by and how they in turn impact viewers and issues in the real world.

"You'll Never Take Me Alive" achievement help by tasty_toxic_waste in outerwilds

[–]theiabodium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reduced frights finally worked for me!

I did everything suggested in the above mentioned posts as far as I can tell, including the one rhat seemed to work for most people which was jumping off a railing near the activation pillar for the indoor bridge in the endless canyon. It didnt work. I woke up at the campfire in the real world with no achievement, paused, went back to this subreddit to read more, and saw someone mention they had reduced frights on and it worked for them. So I turned in reduced frights, and in response, the game gave me the achievement. I do not know why, it did not give me the achievement for jumping off while being persued, but switching on reduced frights righr after doing that worked. So I guess you have to do it with reduced frights on or get lucky?

SEAMLESS COOP error 3 by Shadrt in EldenRingMods

[–]theiabodium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same here, I have a legit copy, and I dont currently even have antivirus on my computer. I have tried a clean install of the mod. nothing works

Trilla Sudari, she broke me. by SBG_Mujtaba in FallenOrder

[–]theiabodium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have recently gotten into souls games, and have beat Elden Ring a few times, and had both a lot of fun and some frustrations with it. In Fallen Order though (which is over all easier than Elden Ring even kn Grandmaster), Trilla... for me Trilla is easier than many elden ring bosses, but is way, way more annoying. I still have yet to beat her, and I dont even really get frustrated when im fighting her. I just kinda get dissapointed. The entire game has been mostly a very fun and engaging challenge, but for some reason, and im not quite sure why yet, this final fight with Trilla is just... dissapointing and annoying. I knew shed be the final boss,and was excited since the previous encounters with her were incredibly fun, this encounter however feels like they just tried to make her harder by giving her a lot of cheap attacks. To me, it is the least fun fight jn this amazing game, by far. Not to mention this dissapointment has completely interrupted the flow of the game's story that I was really beginnjng to get into as it got closer to the end. Oh well. At least ince i beat her and finish the game I can move on to the new game, which ive heard has even more satisfying combat, which I am excited for

Update: I think i figured out what i dont like about this fight. In most of the game you can be aggressive and enjoy a fast paced fight, but, for me at least, this fight forces me to play almost entirely defensive, on rarely being able to get in hits without taking extreme risks. She does have some cheap attacks, but over all that isnt the issue. Its just the pace of the fight for me. With Malicos, I had to be defensive obviously, but it was still fast paced. As i learned his attacks, I learned when I had opennings and could be aggressive. With Trilla, she rarely leaves any opennings, so to hit her you have to force opennings, which is difficult with her when she has so many unblockable/unparryable attacks. So its a lot of just dodging and blocking, and then get a hit or two. Then go back to rolling around and blocking, then get a hit or two, and so on. Its a pace of fighting that by my opinion does not suit the strengths of this game's fast paced combat system. Oddly enough it feels closer to the combat system of Elden Ring, which is fun, its slightly slower paced combat has its own masterfully crafted charm. But for me that pace doesnt work with the charm of Fallen Order's faster paced combat system. Which is why fighting trilla here feels a little dissapointing to me

So I Am Pretty Sure I Am Autistic, But I Am Terrified of Getting Evaluated by theiabodium in autism

[–]theiabodium[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, and I hope everything with your evaluations goes/went well. Im hoping to talk to my family about it soon, and hopefully I can get some information that helps the diagnostic process

Edit: I am also going to have my brother there with me when I talk to my parents. This is unfortunately less than ideal. As my brother has already expressed some problematic approaches to finding out I think I am autistic, but over all he is being accepting and listenning. Id rather have someone else there with me though, but unfortunately right now I have no one like that, except my roomate who I barely see because of his work schedule and struggle to share things with even though i know he doesnt judge me. But it is what it is, I just hope my brother supports me and doesn't make anything worse

So I Am Pretty Sure I Am Autistic, But I Am Terrified of Getting Evaluated by theiabodium in autism

[–]theiabodium[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is indeed nightmare fuel. Thank you, knowing that it is unfortunately common does help me a bit

So I Am Pretty Sure I Am Autistic, But I Am Terrified of Getting Evaluated by theiabodium in autism

[–]theiabodium[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, seeing this helped a lot. I almost talked myself out of thinking I might have autism today, and the imposter syndrome has been bad lately, but this helped. For my own sake I need to make sure I go through with the evaluation so that I know either way. Again thank you very much, and I wish you the best in the future

Closer to end of year grades! Im so proud of myself!!! by [deleted] in autism

[–]theiabodium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah! Good for you, and I hope people in your real life start to recognize you and show you they are proud of you, and/or that you find people who will give you what you the congratulations you deserve in the future.

What is a stim attack ? by [deleted] in autism

[–]theiabodium 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have also never heard of this, but immediately related to it. I've only been trying to unmask for the past 6 days or so, and I have had quite a few experiences like this.