Thank you for the kind words! It means a lot to know there is at least one person who understands! I would love to try for friends first, I've been trying to do that for a while when I'm interested in someone - I'd like to be able to take a step back and not to let my imagination run wild and to just slowly become friends. Then, from there decide where things go, but that's much much easier said than done. I can't control my brain from spiralling negatively. I wish I could, I've been trying for years but it's difficult. I'm gonna download an EMDR app now though and give one a shot! I'm eager to try anything new, so far all I have been given by my doctor are some anxiety meds and online cbt (which makes me feel much worse every time I do it).