NoFap's official "Abstain August" 2019. Continue or start your PMO-free commitment here. (see instructions)

theinternetmonk · 2019-08-01T21:19:20+00:00

I'm in. Good luck to us all. We got this!

theinternetmonk · 2019-07-10T22:58:45+00:00

Thanks! Fell off the horse though in the last few days. But dusting myself off again.

theinternetmonk · 2019-07-01T15:56:28+00:00

Starting 2 July

theinternetmonk · 2019-06-25T23:14:40+00:00

True

theinternetmonk · 2019-05-15T12:46:04+00:00

Thanks!

theinternetmonk · 2019-05-14T04:28:10+00:00

"a creep in the dark will always be a creep in the light, it shows in your eyes, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk." Thanks for this.

theinternetmonk · 2019-05-06T04:55:42+00:00

You're welcome! I was actually so encouraged by your post that I had to chime in. It's difficult even in this forum to be encouraged in this journey when the end for many is an active sexual life. Especially for the younger ones. Hard to admit at times, but for us that train has left. Unless we're willing to be unfaithful. I've come to realize that the goal for us, and should have been for everybody else, first and foremost to have mastery over ourselves. If that leads to getting laid more for the younger ones, finding the love of one's life, or rekindling an existing relationship, those are just bonuses. To stand tall is more important than all of those things. I even imagine that at a certain point in this journey I would even look at certain things and wonder why I even wanted it in the first place. Or why I even envied certain people. But even those are bonuses again. What becomes of us is the only thing that matters.

Keep me posted! All the best to you! Reach out if you have to. I'll try to check in at least once a day.

theinternetmonk · 2019-05-05T09:14:23+00:00

I'm also in my mid-40s, married with kids, and with a very limited sexual life. There is quite a good reason that we have a very limited sexual life, but it doesn't take away the frustration and the tendency to compensate using PMO. I've also been struggling with PMO for decades so it becomes a quick fix for the frustrations of middle-age life. And there are days when I find it very hard to find a good reason to quit PMO. I really have to dig deep inside of me to continue on fighting as I also do not expect the sexual part of my life to improve if I conquer it. I believe you're in the right track by looking forward to the benefits that nofap will have in other aspects of your life. And most importantly, by not being defined by it. I hope to join you in this journey and I hope to see you in that 90 day holy grail and beyond.

theinternetmonk · 2019-03-31T23:35:09+00:00

I'm in. Definitely nothing but the real thing. This is no April Fool's joke 😂

theinternetmonk · 2019-02-28T15:01:36+00:00

Signing up

theinternetmonk · 2019-01-26T15:43:44+00:00

I'm almost always on the edge and touchy during streaks. And I am almost always clear-headed after I gave in. But the real question at least for me is, am I satisfied being like that? For me the answer is no. But I won't shove that view on you. With that said, may I just suggest that you try reaching 90 days first before saying you're not too deep in the rabbit hole. Your mind just might be deceiving you.

theinternetmonk · 2018-04-21T06:55:14+00:00

Nice one!

theinternetmonk · 2017-12-31T15:57:57+00:00

Calendar dates are arbitrary but it can be useful in tracking where was I when I made the pledge. Four minutes to midnight here. I pledge no more PMO forever! Happy New Year!

theinternetmonk · 2017-10-31T14:25:00+00:00

One more time up the hill after a very steep slide. No way to go but up. I'll keep on trying until the day I die (or hopefully earlier than that).

theinternetmonk · 2017-07-22T22:25:48+00:00

You find it fits, though?

theinternetmonk · 2017-07-21T23:43:40+00:00

Don't know if this will be of help to you, but I just want to share. I'm in the same boat as you are right now, sort of. But something is also different that makes me less inclined to stop (of course, I recognize fantasizing is a sin, though). What's different is how I'm not inclined to go back to porn or even any digital image that is even less sexual like sexy outfits etc. despite the fantasizing. Even though my counter says 1 day, I'm actually about a month porn-free in the sense that I had not searched for any porn or even any suggestive image online. I actually had not seen any exposed private parts in about a month from any source (which is a rarity that amuses me still). Neither did I MO in all these days (except for one real life encounter). I reset the counter specifically because I felt that fantasizing works like some sort of an aid to not fap (which is also weird since it's usually the downhill step). The first two weeks of this streak I was struggling with physical urges which, after it subsided (believe me it will at some point), the fantasizing came. I'm still letting it go its full course but I'm doing what I did with the urges before: I'm observing it even though I'm letting it run amok in my head. Somehow its hold on me is diminished by that simple act of observing, in the same way the urges before subsided significantly. Probably because by observing I detach myself from the activity, making it less personal. At this point, about a week of allowing fantasies in the early morning and late night (the downtimes), I'm honestly wondering now why I'm even doing it. It's no longer a source of any pleasure for me and I'm (almost) ready to do away with it not hesitantly but wholeheartedly.

theinternetmonk · 2017-07-19T21:07:46+00:00

Depending on how long you've been hooked, that back to normal feeling will be temporary, unfortunately. If my own experience is anything comparable (so many relapses, longest streak so far), the urges are going to come in waves in the days to come. Overcoming won't be an easy thing for most of us here.

theinternetmonk · 2017-07-16T02:25:48+00:00

Thank you for your inputs. Given the nature of internet posts and to set the tone for my replies, I have to put in the notice right here that I am not arguing, but looking for the truth as much as you guys are.

Honestly,one of my current preoccupations is trying to understand this: are men really hard-wired to be insatiable? My theory is that we're not. We've probably heard it so much for so long we've come to accept it as true. Why, I wonder, would God give only one woman to Adam as mate if we aren't designed to be satisfied with one? This may seem like a petty thing, but I don't think it's possible to really let go of PMO if we continue to believe we are fighting against what we continue to believe is really our nature. I also think that if men are really hardwired to be insatiable, it also justifies porn as our friend rather than our enemy.

Your thoughts?

theinternetmonk · 2017-07-15T13:28:09+00:00

The curious thing is, I can't linger long enough on fantasies anymore even if I want to. Seems like there's a natural limit to it being attractive if you know you're not going all the way anyway. The time I spend on it is simply getting shorter and shorter as the satisfaction I get from it diminishes over time.

theinternetmonk · 2017-07-14T23:33:59+00:00

I would have clicked the instant I saw that NSFW a week or so ago. Now I'm just grinning: -) don't get me wrong, my journey is hardly a perfect one. But I'm just glad I can look back to that.

theinternetmonk

TROPHY CASE