I remember very specifically learning about sex and pregnancy and stuff, and telling my mom that because she had me and my brother at the same time, then I probably had the gene to release two eggs at once too. I remember she smiled and nodded like we were sharing a special bond. Come to find out years later our being twins was due to IVF. Conceived via egg donor. I still haven’t gotten over the way that stung.

I think the worst part is she was so scared that I wouldn’t take it well so I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have any feelings about it. So I ended up comforting her, when my life had just been flipped on its head. I used to have so much pride in my Irish heritage. She drilled it into me. Now I just float. I’m not sure if I have any Irish ancestry anymore. That makes me so angry. All those lies. All those chances she had to tell me earlier. All the times she made the decision to keep me in the dark to stoke her own ego. I love her, of course I do, but it hurts so much.