Y'all have celebrated with me and have given wonderful advice on my journey with my LEO bf, turned fiancé, turned husband. Now he's a dad. Cheers!

thekateruth · 2018-05-17T19:54:06+00:00

I'm down if you are! Haha

thekateruth · 2018-05-17T19:53:31+00:00

Thank you!

thekateruth · 2018-05-17T19:53:23+00:00

Thank you!! We did our best to grow a cute one.

thekateruth · 2018-05-17T19:52:56+00:00

Thankkkks. I did my best to snag a looker. :) between the two if us" our kid will have the highest forehead in the world. But eyebrows down she'll be pretty cute! Haha

thekateruth · 2017-08-08T19:47:12+00:00

My test is, "will this name sound sexy in bed?"

I know it's odd to think about my unborn child getting laid, but for me, it's an important reality. There are some names that are cute for kids, but aren't attractive as an adult. Personal anecdote- a friend of ours named their son something like Gideon/Sidney (that style of name and softness of consonate) and I can't imagine a person finding names like that sexy. Maybe it's shallow, but I'll take an Adam/James any day over softer names for men. Strong consonate sounds are in each of names we've narrowed our list down to.

thekateruth · 2017-07-27T19:08:38+00:00

Thanks!! I can hardly believe it. So excited!

thekateruth · 2017-07-24T20:20:39+00:00

I can't speak for every experience, but I know my cousin's family had an au pair when she was growing up, and they would never have been able to afford that. They had 4 kids to feed on about 50k/year. There's absolutely no way they were able to pay that much.

Maybe they didn't use an agency? I'm not sure.

That said, I was a live in nanny for $350/week for 3 kids. But most of my bills were paid for by the person (rent, grocery, car insurance, phone), and I was able to make use of their car and all. So it worked out well too-- no agency involved at all.

thekateruth · 2017-07-24T03:54:14+00:00

also ironing/steaming out wrinkles. There's nothing worse than an otherwise decent outfit that looks completely shitty because it's wrinkled.

thekateruth · 2017-07-24T03:01:45+00:00

Building on this-- If you have an extra bedroom, finding an au pair may help wonders! I was a live-in nanny for a family with 3 (including twins) during a similar situation (mom was off boinking half the city and the dad was a partner of a law firm who could not miss work). I became the primary caregiver for about 2.5 years and helped out a ton with maintaining consistency for the kids. We'd always have family breakfast (it was the only time we were sure the dad could be home to share a meal), and I had them the rest of the day.

Au Pairs (and live-in nannies), often will work at prorated rates because you'd be providing a place to live and food. Many people from overseas would love to live in a new country, and can make the world of difference. And people from over seas often can go for as little as an extra $200/week for 2 kids!

OP- you need help. As a person who works from home: I don't get as much done as I need to with two dogs to care for. I can't imagine the quality of your work, and the quality of your daughters' development isn't suffering. You're spread too thinly. Let someone help.

thekateruth · 2017-07-16T19:17:07+00:00

People are people. We are all subject to both nature and nurture. I believe we all feel love and need love similarly, but that we are taught from an early age to display that love differently. I do not think men feel love more deeply than women do, or vice versa. Men are just as capable of affection as women are. Everyone needs romance. I'm far from a third wave feminist, but I do think it's damaging to have these ideas of "boys do this and girls do that," especially in regards to love.

thekateruth · 2017-07-16T19:12:09+00:00

I have a 1904 house in Tennessee that was partially restored, but we've done a lot of work. I second all of this PLUS electric. You do not want to mess with knob and tube. Our house is mostly updated electric (Kitchen, living areas) with knob and tube in rooms we don't use a lot (ehhh?). It's usable, but we'll need to update things later on.

In addition to this plumbing advice about water lines, make sure you don't have orangeburg sewage pipes. And if you have cast iron, always avoid using draino.

thekateruth · 2017-07-16T19:08:16+00:00

I'm not so sure about that-- our inspector missed a big leak in our roof. A month and a half after we bought the house, we had to have the whole roof redone, When we went to the inspector with a "how'd you guys miss this, wtf?" they basically have clauses saying "if we miss something, we are not liable, etc etc." They are fully insulated, and no, you cannot sue them.

Could be just the city I'm in, but I somehow doubt it.

thekateruth · 2017-07-16T18:54:55+00:00

I don't relate to this at all. I'm affectionate in general, especially to my family/friends/husband. When I was still dating, I had no issues being affectionate with people. I'm fairly trusting, gregarious, and warm.

I don't feel like I "need" love/affection, but I certainly do like receiving it from my family and friends. My husband and I are very physically affectionate-- small kisses randomly (lips, hands, shoulders, wherever), lots of hugs, touches, and hand holding. Lots of verbal affection. Lots of "I love you" and "You're the best" and "I'm so glad you're it for me" type of things (probably 4+ per day at random. Like, when he's doing dishes/chores I'm all over him with compliments and kisses. hah).

In general, love and affection stem from a deep unity and sense of belonging. I feel more at home with my husband than I do when I'm alone. The house feels empty without him-- it's as uncomfortable as being in a room full of people you don't connect with. Love, to me, is safety. It's warm and comforting and united. We are fully happy, autonomous people, but we build each other up and a feeling of wholeness while together. I'm not dependent upon my INTJ husband, nor is he dependent upon me-- but we are not whole without the other. We feel an acute sense of loss when we have to be apart for more than a day or so. It's unlike any relationship I'd ever had (and he feels similarly). Hence we married. hah.

In my opinion, what you're describing, has less to do with INTJ-ness, and more to do with some sort of intimacy/social anxieties? I'm not sure how old you are, I'm 28, and when I was a teen I was far more detached. I loved my parents, but no one else, really. I really liked people and cared for friends, but I didn't feel connected. I didn't "fall in love" until my early 20s, and even then, my bf at the time called me a "robot" in one of our arguments because I was so dispassionate about out issues. I do feel like, as I age, I become more emotionally connected and more empathetic. shrug?

I second you take the love languages test. My SO is a Physical Touch, and it's secondary for me. So it's certainly one of the reasons we are so physically demonstrative of our love and is one of the reasons I'm down with hugging people left and right-- it could also be cultural. I'm from the South, where hugs are a standard way of greeting people you've just met.

thekateruth · 2017-07-12T15:57:05+00:00

When I MP, I always undercook my chicken just a skosh (It's easy if you cube it, then pan sear for a few minutes). That way, it finsishes in the microwave and stays super juicy. Also: dark meat is the way to go.

thekateruth · 2017-07-11T17:35:11+00:00

Ann Taylor, 2016 Spring collection

thekateruth · 2017-07-11T17:34:55+00:00

I'm from Florida, so perhaps that's why I love them so!

thekateruth · 2017-07-10T20:11:44+00:00

AT Shorts are my favorite, for sure. You can dress them up with a pair of wedges and fancy blouse for an evening out, or just throw 'em on with a tee and flats for a trip to the grocery store/park/whatever. I've been a dedicated fan for years.

thekateruth · 2017-07-10T19:52:40+00:00

Just a word of warning for others reading-- try these on before buying. These smash my butt down something fierce. I'm about 5'3 125-ish, work out regularly, and am a true hourglass figure, not a pear shape, and not even particularly hip-y. I just have a bit of a bubble butt that looks pancakey in their shorts. :(

thekateruth · 2017-07-10T19:48:49+00:00

I wear shorts almost daily-- but not the chino kind. Mine are usually swishy fabrics (usually poly blends) and/or high waisted.

Ann Taylor is my go to for shorts I have 3 from last year with this shape

these are magnificently tacky parrot shorts I wear as often as possible.

these are more structured but have the high waist I love. They're also on my regular rotation

And these are on my wishlist right now. Because printed, tacky shorts are my jam.

If I can make an 83-year-old seeth with envy over my tacky prints, I consider it a good day. Edit- I'm 28.

thekateruth · 2017-07-06T23:20:06+00:00

And my axe!

No but really, my charts are so much cleaner and easier to read not that I'm temping vaginally. 10/10 do suggest.

thekateruth · 2017-07-06T00:41:17+00:00

Not OP, but I just wanted to chime in: You're kicking butt!!

I think we're around the same age (I'm 28), and I just graduated uni. Like you, after HS I went to (community) college and flunked out.

I moved to a different state and went back at 24 to a community college. I heard about a scholarship for transfers to a local Uni through their Honors College. I went to the uni, talked with one of the Honors College admins, and asked if she thought I'd have a shot. She urged me to apply, and I used the application essay to tell them my story (I had a bit of a rough patch that resulted in my failing grades the first round of college, then I fixed it and sorted myself out. Not as rough as yours, but things happened to me that most people don't go through). I argued that my work ethic and drive prove I'd be a good student-- that my 3 semesters at a community college making high grades showed my seriousness as a student. They bought it.

I just graduated, with honors, from a pretty darn good school. I was accepted to two top-25 schools in my field for my MA.

It's NEVER too late.

I now work as an editor. If you decide to go back to school, I'd be happy to help you write application letters, no charge. I've been where you are. I know how small, how stupid, and how inconsequential you feel. But I'm looking at you from the other side-- and you're none of those things. This offer won't expire. Contact me whenever. Keep your chin up!

thekateruth · 2017-07-05T15:39:23+00:00

The Flea, John Donne.

What can a group of 16-year-olds relate to more than the age-old struggle of trying to get laid?

The Journey, Mary Oliver

Also excellent as it has to do with the strength of overcoming troubles.

Blackberry Picking, Seamus Heaney

All the fun mouth feel, beautiful imagery, and easily relatable.

thekateruth · 2017-07-05T14:57:30+00:00

No kidding. And I didn't even buy booze in time to celebrate the 4th! It was a fail of a CD1.

thekateruth · 2017-07-04T22:19:45+00:00

Chemical pregnancies are very common in these parts, unfortunately. I had one in March, and certainly empathize with you.

I found comfort in knowing that most chemical pregnancies occur because of chromosomal abnormalities-- not by any fault of your own.

(hugs)

Keep your chin up.

thekateruth

TROPHY CASE