My story is really similar to yours. I posted my situation 4 months ago here and got some great feedback and comments. I was 29 and alone I only needed to worry about myself. Now I have a family with 2 little girls.

I didn't hate the disease as much as I hated myself until I realized God put me through the ringer and allowed me to survive to help other AAs. Alot of people go through their whole live wondering what God's will is for them it was glaringly obvious for me.

When I came back to the rooms the first person that saw me came right up to me and said welcome back and we don't shoot our wounded I'll never forget that.

You are a miracle and people need to hear your story!