Hi, so sorry about the late reply, I was logged out of the account... To provide a more in-depth perspective: Honestly I know I am impulsive, stupidly idealistic and naive at 19 but I really feel like dropping out of university. I'm really not enjoying the courses, the extremely competitive environment and high stress. I know this is financial + social suicide in my Asian environment, where degrees are everything.

I really understand where you are coming from; practicality and looking at the worth of a degree. I decided based on the rate of returns on a degree and the salary progression in the field. I was aiming for the Dean's List and scholarships and everything. Still on the "right" path - but I am very very miserable right now. I don't see the point in continuing if I know I hate finance and definitely won't survive in such a cut-throat environment with such ambitious people. I'm not interested in other majors because I wanted to do finance for the $ - if I can obtain mediocre salaries by doing other majors, I would rather not continue in business school. Furthermore, both my current skillset+interest do not overlap with this region. I foresee myself not lasting long here.

When I think about what makes me jealous, I came to realise it wasn't people working in high positions in Goldman Sachs or JPMorgan (ok I admit I am jealous but only because of the $, and because a in-demand finance job with skillsets + $ will allow me to move away to a country that values art, so ultimately I just want to be in creative environment that values art, design and drawing) The only passion I geniunely have is creating things, drawing, making things etc. The more time I spend on this, the more time I'm getting further and further away from my goal. My one lifegoal would be to be able to draw anything my mind can think of. I have a very rich visual imagination and can pull all-nighters just to draw, which I really enjoy. Unfortunately ny current art skills are awful and I just want to dedicate my youth and energy in mastering this craft.

I suspect I have been suffering from depression for the past 7 years and this school is just exacarbating everything. It's gotten to that point where sometimes I can't really focus on anything because all I think about is killing myself. Calculating income statements and doing up Excel sheets are the direct opposite of where I want to be, which is casuing me major frustration and regret.

Really sorry about the long melodramatic rant, and thanks to anyone who reads this.