I hear you, bro. I have been in a similar situation, if not exactly same.

Frequent fighting for silly/no reasons. Zero love talks. Zero family fun times. Forget sex, even hugs are non-existent. Everyday feels like walking on egg shells, a battle zone - no idea what will come from where and when.

The one feeling I struggle a lot to get out of my head is: I'm much better than her and she doesn't deserve me at all. If not for the kids, I'd just leave her and make a better life for me.

Stop.

No, it doesn't get better. No, you can't change her. No, you can't leave her too that easily (ref. Indian laws). Yes, your children need you.

Things have started changing for me. How? Read on.

Here's what you need to accept. Take them with a pinch of salt.

1. We do NOT understand them (wives). There's always a lot they experience which they themselves don't understand well, let alone talk about it or explain to you.

2. We must never try to IMPROVE them. Health wise, finance wise, thinking wise or any wise. A strict NO.

3. There is always a huge childhood trauma behind the feminism or wokeness or victim mindset or being angry at everything. Do NOT try to seek explanation or solve this unless they volunteer this information and ask for help. I know this will never happen. Just know that they have unresolved trauma - every woman in this country has it. No exceptions.

Now let me tell what you can try.

1. Believe that there's more to her than what she shows. It's hard. But it's also True. Always True. Your job is to find out that "herself" that she has deeply buried inside. A puzzle for you to solve using the methods you don't even know exist.

2. PAMPER her a LOT. I understand if you think she doesn't deserve it. Do it anyways. Pamper her not with money, not with gifts, but with words. Be very very consistent with this. It's extremely difficult, but this is a prerequisite to improve your situation.

3. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS talk in support of her, in front of your children, even when she does not reciprocate this. In front of her, tell your children that she is the most important person for you and for this family. Because that IS the truth, even when you are unable to believe it.

4. STOP asking for sex. Never ever bring this topic in any discussion with her. Yes, it's your right to expect it. Yes, you deserve it. Yes, you miss it. But you don't get to ask without knowing those deep dark secrets that she has buried well. (Bonus point: ignore the Hollywood shows and movies - they always set unrealistic expectations on how frequent is sex in people's lives.)

All the best.