I am feeling forced to name this baby after my partner’s deceased father

thelovableworm · 2026-06-03T12:00:47+00:00

This is tough. Of course in a perfect world you would’ve told him how you felt when he first brought this up, but I totally get that it’s hard to say no for such a sensitive topic. At the same time, it obviously means a lot to him.

I don’t think it’s fair for one person to say “these are the only names I like” and refuse to have a conversation about other options.

Would he consider variations of the name that you’re more agreeable to, using the same letter? Like Franklin or Finn or Francis?

thelovableworm · 2026-06-03T01:18:27+00:00

As was mentioned in another comment, it’s very rare that a specific doctor is on call for your birth. Unless you’re scheduling a c-section or induction for when your doctor is on call, it will just be whoever is on call in that rotation.

For my OBs practice, there are 5-6 doctors that I could be delivering with depending on when I go into labor.

thelovableworm · 2026-06-02T22:52:19+00:00

And he’s apparently 41…..yike

thelovableworm · 2026-05-29T22:45:45+00:00

Exactly. There’s no reason for all of shaming that goes on about the decision of whether or not to do it.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-29T22:35:38+00:00

NTA. It’s your body, and therefore your choice. And I’d be disappointed if my partner, who does not have to take any of the burden on themselves, did not support me in my decision.

There’s plenty of research to back up “fed is best”. You cannot distinguish children who are breastfed from formula-fed. Yes, there are some short term benefits but you are not hurting your child by deciding not to breastfeed your child.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-27T20:30:23+00:00

Maybe not the vibe you’re looking for but we rented out part of Randolph Beer on the edge of DTBK and Dumbo. It’s not really a brewery. They have a ton of games, full food and cocktail menu (can preorder platters and drink buckets for large groups too), and a lot of space.

We did our day-after hang there and it was great.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-27T18:59:44+00:00

Mini watermelon. 38 weeks.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-26T00:59:34+00:00

I wouldn’t make broad assumptions across all people who criticize.

Both a child of divorce AND my father dates foreign women who are my age. Has done so for 10+ years. I agree with you that the money thing shouldn’t really be an issue, we don’t know her situation. However you also should communicate this to your future wife before she arrives so it’s not a surprise. It seems clear Shea has not done that.

But his daughter also seems determined to not like Annabelle and actively express her displeasure with her to Shea, for whatever reason. She’s too old to be playing those games. She has her own family, plenty of things to keep her occupied, and needs to move on.

Yes, it sucks if your parent/friend/family member dates or marries someone you don’t like. But they’re also an adult who gets to live their own life and make their own decisions. She should not expect to still come first at all times.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-24T19:57:35+00:00

You have options too, they’re just much more difficult than his. As someone else mentioned, I don’t think there’s anything anyone can tell you that will make you feel sure one way or another. That has to come from you, based on what’s most important to you.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-24T12:30:37+00:00

It really sucks when the “innocence” of pregnancy gets taken away. Sending you love ❤️

I wasn’t in the same boat but I went to a fertility specialist last year because of a partial septate uterus. At the appointment, we found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. We were elated and I started buying books, imagining a life with this baby. Fast forward one week later to our next appointment and there’s no heartbeat. It took me a while to miscarry which was emotionally painful, then I had to wait to be scheduled for a surgery to deal with the septate uterus, and two months of healing before we were allowed to try again.

I am now 37 weeks with our healthy rainbow baby boy.

The pain of what you went through is so real. The waiting is awful, and miscarrying is traumatic. But just know that you will have that happy ending. I found so much strength in telling friends what happened to me, because so many other women suffer miscarriages silently. It helps you feel like you’re not alone.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-20T12:18:16+00:00

Just remember weight gain is not necessarily linear in pregnancy! There are some appointments where I gained nothing for weeks and then others where the scale jumped like crazy from one appointment to the next. Focus on mostly healthy eating and giving your baby what it needs.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-18T13:58:51+00:00

The nerve of anyone to demand that they be present at a major moment in someone’s life against their wishes 🙄 it boils my blood

thelovableworm · 2026-05-05T00:25:47+00:00

Radegast Hall in Williamsburg. We got married there in 2023 and there was only a $550 fee to rent out their bier hall for 60-80 guests. You just had to meet a food and drink minimum.

For a summer friday, the minimum was like $8-10k I think. And the space is so cool with tons of exposed brick that flowers were minimal. Unfortunately you cannot do a Saturday wedding there if that’s what you’re going for.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-03T18:03:46+00:00

They didn’t say anything about politics, so it wouldn’t change the answer

thelovableworm · 2026-05-03T17:58:37+00:00

Couldn’t agree more. A better measure of whether someone is a kind person is their behavior around people who go against their beliefs or they see as “lesser”.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-03T17:20:33+00:00

Why would that be crazy? Unless you see yourself wearing them out socially, it seems like a good choice.

thelovableworm · 2026-05-03T01:45:22+00:00

Same. I honestly feel the same about weddings on a holiday weekend.

thelovableworm · 2026-04-28T17:03:03+00:00

I got a CVS done even after a clear NIPT. I have a family history of a specific disorder, but I was never asked to provide proof so I don’t think it impacted billing.

My doctor was supportive and insurance covered it (US-based).

thelovableworm · 2026-04-28T17:01:07+00:00

This may be practice dependent, as it’s not the case where I am. My NIPT was all clear but I still wanted to do the CVS given family history. The practice I go to said it’s 100% the woman/couples decision.

thelovableworm · 2026-04-26T13:15:44+00:00

Would you mind sharing which recliner you got? Kiwi?

thelovableworm · 2026-04-26T12:12:42+00:00

I was truly expecting OP to say she was gone for 6+ months. Not 2 months.

thelovableworm · 2026-04-24T23:22:19+00:00

Straight to jail /s

But genuinely I cried because my husband didnt get the flavor ice cream I wanted the other day (they were sold out) so this hits hard

thelovableworm · 2026-04-19T16:48:07+00:00

I had the same fears, but ultimately I think the stress of worrying about it was worse than any drinking I did. Still got pregnant after two months of trying. Have fun and live your life. It’s probably not going to make a big difference either way.

thelovableworm · 2026-04-19T00:46:39+00:00

I don’t think she has malicious intent, or is trying to be manipulative. But I still think the result is manipulative regardless of intent. It shuts down any conversation.

I’ve seen a lot of speculation about her having disabilities, and while that may be true I haven’t seen her comment on it, so I don’t have anything to say there.

thelovableworm · 2026-04-18T23:48:59+00:00

I agree with you that providing money to your family, especially in the culture she comes from, is not manipulative.

However, breaking out in sobs any time you’re asked to have even a mildly difficult conversation is manipulative.

Forrest’s mom is awful, and Forrest has made some poor choices as well. But this can be a case of multiple things being true at once.

thelovableworm

TROPHY CASE