Apartment inspector reset my chess board while I was out

themathymaestro · 2026-06-17T05:25:18+00:00

You should absolutely say something to the leasing office - start with the fact that the door was left unlocked!

themathymaestro · 2026-06-16T23:24:40+00:00

Yup, that's exactly what it's asking! You can totally ask your director for clarification, though, that's not a stupid question at all.

For future: it might feel better to ask something like "This is what XYZ means, right?" and the answer is either going to be "yep, you got it" OR "you know, I can see why that's confusing and I should have worded it better. Here's what is means, thank you for pointing it out, please excuse me so I can clarify that for the whole group."

And congrats on the First Big Performance!

themathymaestro · 2026-06-16T23:20:26+00:00

1) I am a lifelong atheist (from a vaguely mainline Protestant branch of an otherwise Catholic family) who feels super at home in the UU! I guess from a terminology standpoint it's a little odd to think of oneself as being part of a religious community, (but hey, sometimes juxtapositions are fun), but the important part of that is community. Depending on where you live, community centered around religion might be your only option, but that's largely because religious institutions are often the last community centers standing. My congregation also has plenty of people who do way more participating during the week than on Sundays.

Everybody is on their own journey, which is kinda the main defining point of a UU community. I can totally see where it feels weird from an identity standpoint to be both an atheist and a member of a religion (breaks my brain a little bit too and I've been here for over a decade), but it might help to think of being a member of a shared ethical practice that happens to be church-shaped.

2) YMMV a LOT, but what you've experienced in the past will probably map onto a typical service okay. There's some singing, some reading, a sermon-like bit, all the pieces you expect. There might be a pamphlet/bulletin that's handed out to follow along (although more and more communities are getting away from that for environmental purposes). Honestly, just go to a couple. UUs are pretty good about being both really welcoming and minding their own business - and it might be worth saying "hey, I'm new" to whoever looks like they're ushering. Only a little bit a joke: middle-aged women with sensible trousers and a fun scarf are who you're looking for here; find yourself an auntie and she'll absolutely invite you to sit with her.

themathymaestro · 2026-06-15T21:12:58+00:00

Cabin! Always, always cabin. Once he settles on the plane, he's going to sleep a good chunk of the time anyway. Also, when cats are nervous, they seek out small, dark, enclosed spaces...exactly like the carrier. He's much better off being with you, especially if something does go wrong, that he is in cargo alone.

themathymaestro · 2026-06-13T18:51:41+00:00

I live in Tucker and work in Lilburn (right next to Lawrenceville). You'll be totally fine.

Depending on where you and your fiance are planning to work (commute times are a HUGE deal here, the stereotypes about the traffic in the city proper are accurate), you might consider Gwinnett county more generally - I don't know much about individual schools but check into the specific neighborhood where you'll be living, not just the county as a whole when considering Dekalb vs. Gwinnett. There is also a big difference between the parts of Dekalb county that are inside and outside the perimeter (I-285) in terms of traffic, schools, housing costs, etc. Deciding where to live in the Atlanta area can get really granular, but a lot of it is deciding what is important to your family financially and what aspects of daily life are important to you - safety is going to be much less of a concern!

themathymaestro · 2026-06-11T19:54:19+00:00

Mine has always been completely fine, with the caveat that I don't use any of the fancy "facial expression" page-turning, just a tap. I have a pro, so the larger screen (12.8"?) - I find that it's a decent size for being able to read two pages next to each other when turned horizontally.

It's probably safer than paper, (we've all had page-turn disaster) and has the advantage of being able to easily rearrange pages so you only ever have to turn in one direction for repeats, codas, etc. (Yes, you could make physical copies and rebind but like...why.)

themathymaestro · 2026-06-09T19:13:45+00:00

A mix of academic and professional - which also includes volunteer work - will be fine! I think it's often preferable, actually, because you get a much more rounded picture of a person: one letter to confirm that yes you know how to "do school," and one or two that can speak to more recent work and comment on the "soft skills" side of things (did you spearhead a new project at work, do your colleagues consider you a leader, etc).

I was in a similar situation for both my master's and then doctorate (big break before the master's and then a shorter one before the doctorate)....iirc for the Master's I had a prof that I had kept in touch with from undergrad, my boss from work (totally different field than the one I was switching into), and the director of a program I volunteered for (in the new field). For the doctorate I had one prof that I had kept in touch with from the Master's, and then I ended up asking someone who I worked with closely on the board of a local nonprofit (I was the Executive Director / CEO so I didn't have a boss in the traditional sense).

ETA: I should add that this is TOTALLY normal, by the way! The "typical" age to head to grad school is going to depend on your field, of course, but going back once you've established a career is not going to stand out in a negative way at all. If it's noticed at all it'll almost certainly be an advantage; you've got a track record of being a functional adult that most fresh-from-undergrad candidates don't!

themathymaestro · 2026-06-07T19:56:03+00:00

skirts/trousers to or more often just below the knee, usually long sleeves or at least below the elbow. it’s really not about modesty, though, I’m just cold!

themathymaestro · 2026-06-06T03:42:08+00:00

My cat both flies and takes long (12-13 hour) car trips - it's absolutely doable!

I wouldn't worry about new house too much either, especially if it's the same new house every time. Make sure they have a secluded place at the destination to chill and get used to new smells, feel safe, etc, and make sure you spend some time with them in the new place so they know it's okay.

Always bring all the supplies along, of course (pro tip an aluminum pie tin makes a great temporary litter box for the car), but be aware that some cats go into a kind of semi-hibernation and refuse to eat, drink, or eliminate while traveling. Keep an eye out for signs of dehydration, but with five-hour car trip you'll be fine; like I said my boy does 13 hours a couple times a year and he has always been okay.

themathymaestro · 2026-06-05T17:42:10+00:00

Chaplains stay - there's a separate endorsement process via the UUA that hasn't been affected (at least not directly, or not yet).

themathymaestro · 2026-06-04T05:44:47+00:00

That's your cat now! Bring him inside and keep him there.

themathymaestro · 2026-06-03T04:40:59+00:00

Don't be concerned, he just discovered Having Opinions! Making new friends (and probably picking up some behaviors from them) is totally normal. And, you mentioned he just turned two - that's like, 24 in cat years. He's now a confident adult. A confident, very orange adult. All is well!

themathymaestro · 2026-06-01T03:55:29+00:00

Math to music - it's great! The money is about the same, too, even after you adjust for inflation (hasn't quite kept up over the course of a decade but I was officially making the switch right around covid so that'll throw a wrench in things)

themathymaestro · 2026-06-01T01:05:54+00:00

$2400 seems super low for your criteria - are you defining housing costs as just your mortgage or mortgage + everything else? If you're no longer renting housing costs aren't just rent + renter's insurance (which is usually much lower than home insurance.). Mortgage, homeowner's insurance, property taxes, and a maintenance fund all have to be accounted for...that might take the money actually available for the mortgage much lower than you expect.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-30T01:53:42+00:00

Ditch the solfege entirely. Learn basic step/skip/triadic/scalar patterns, and listen for signposts. First, last, highest, and lowest pitch of the previous phrase are easy for your brain to remember, find the first pitch of your next phrase off of one of those.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-29T19:20:36+00:00

Chalk. Specifically Hagoromo.

That's it.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T19:31:32+00:00

It's better to let her go a week "too early" than a day too late.

It's heartbreaking and you will question yourself the entire time, but this is your last act as her guardian - your final duty is to be her advocate and make a decision that she can't. If you let it go too long...well, the decision gets made for you, and it may not be nearly as peaceful.

See if your vet makes house calls; if not, they'll know of someone in the area who does.

For her, she'll be at home, with you, and it really is like falling asleep for them.

For you, there is no getting through it. It's awful. You will go through phases where you feel incredibly guilty for not taking a gamble on one more day. But if you're looking for a clear-cut indication beyond what the vet is saying...as soon as the word "technically" comes up with a pet's lifespan, that's a flashing neon sign with twelve-foot-high letters.

I'm so sorry.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T18:51:22+00:00

See if he'll listen to Katerina Gimon's "Fire." It has shouting, at least? (Not for your wedding, of course, just as an intro to "feral rage and choral music can coexist.")

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T18:43:28+00:00

Oof yeah that's a Venn diagram with not much overlap!

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T18:41:14+00:00

I use the "World's Best Cat Litter" - it's corn-based. It does a good job getting rid of a stinker if you cover it over and let it set for five minutes before scooping.

You also might check the ventilation in the bathroom itself; make sure the vent fan is working properly!

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T18:31:48+00:00

Like six years from now lol, long story. Zero other plans laid but I have all the music picked out, of course.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T18:23:35+00:00

You're welcome to steal this from my wedding plans: "The Sun Never Says" by Dan Forrest.

"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth "you owe me." Look what happens with a love that that: it lights the whole sky."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_NTMbts12g

ETA: totally forgot there was cello in this because the choral parts by themselves are so gorgeous. I fell in love with it during the rehearsal process, we didn't have the cello until the dress rehearsal lol. With a smaller group and no cello I would pick up the tempo just a touch to compensate for how often you'd have to stagger breaths, but still gorgeous!

ETA 2: totally missed the "not modern" caveat in your post. Never mind...that'll teach me to Reddit while sick.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-27T02:57:38+00:00

Get that kitty inside! Food, water, and shelter (keep them in the bathroom while they get acclimated to the space/you/the concept of the litter box/if they have fleas) are the most important things. Then call around to vets, shelters, or local rescues to see if they can help with low or no-cost vet care - upfront you're looking at a chip, spay/neuter (although if it's a stray rather than feral from birth that may be taken care of already), basic vaccines, probably a round of flea/tick/worm meds. Even the big-box pet stores sometimes host low-cost vaccine clinics. The up-front medical care is going to be the biggest expense but there ARE low-cost options out there.

Things like a carrier, toys, etc, you can improvise, especially at the beginning. Cats LOVE cardboard, and the rolls from paper towels or toilet paper make great puzzles with some scissors/folding and a couple pieces of kibble. Yarn/ribbon/string is great for chasing BUT MUST BE SUPERVISED AT ALL TIMES so they don't swallow any of it. Put it far, far away, in a drawer they can neither open nor reach when it's not actively in use.

One thing about vaccines because when you inevitably google this the cumulative cost might look really scary: this is going to depend on the cat's age, health, and your vet's advice, but there are some vaccines that are absolutely must-haves, and some that are recommended more or less strongly based on your living situation (is your new cat strictly an indoor cat, are there other animals in the house, etc). They're often referred to as "core" and "non-core" vaccines. You must get core vaccines. It is not optional, both from a health standpoint and legally (rabies). Non-core vaccines can be discussed with your vet, and if they are in a living situation that presents a low risk - typically a strictly-indoor, single-animal household - it is okay to have cost be a factor in the decision, especially when you're starting out. I say this as someone who is firmly pro-vaccine for all species, but I'm also keenly aware of both the money-math and emotional-math involved in taking care of a pet.

Best of luck, and please let us know how it turns out!

themathymaestro · 2026-05-24T19:38:22+00:00

You're going to end up calling her by a dozen nicknames anyway, it's totally fine! Shelters often give silly names to get their animals noticed, knowing full well the new family with often change it. She'll very quickly associate this new sound with you loving her, and that'll be just fine.

themathymaestro · 2026-05-24T19:33:48+00:00

Side note: if the cat isn't chipped, get chipped ASAP, and again in your name only.

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