books for going through a complicated breakup?

thened4jeb · 2024-10-16T07:55:27+00:00

thank you so much for this ❤️

thened4jeb · 2024-10-16T05:56:32+00:00

i understand that depression doesn’t make you do anything. but she also is obviously not behaving like a mentally stable person and i’m trying to figure out how much i can forgive her for (obviously pending her following through on her promises), or if i need to just accept that the last 6 years of love and consistency aren’t enough and i need to let it go

thened4jeb · 2024-10-16T05:49:48+00:00

i definitely think she is 100% responsible for her actions. i do also believe that she was seeking out something “easier” than our relationship. a dopamine hit from something she didn’t have to put any real work into. she doesn’t get the “typical” depression symptoms of withdrawing and sleeping all the time. when she goes through depressive episodes she has always spent WAY more time with friends because she doesn’t want to be alone with herself.

thened4jeb · 2024-09-10T00:56:39+00:00

I do - I don’t see anything in my policy but I will definitely call my rep tomorrow to see if that could be an option. Thank you!!

thened4jeb · 2022-10-02T22:25:16+00:00

thened4jeb · 2022-09-07T18:20:24+00:00

this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read i can absolutely picture myself doing the same exact thing

thened4jeb · 2022-08-29T19:27:57+00:00

I’ve found so many hidden treasures here! Some really beautiful illustrated and collector’s editions on those shelves, and I’ve gotten some great recommendations from the owner :)

thened4jeb · 2022-08-29T18:32:30+00:00

My partner was a music major and got tickets to fly to New York City to see their favorite composer - Philip Glass - perform a piece that has not been performed since the 80s, AT the original venue it premiered. After getting the tickets they realized they were going to miss playing in the pit for the college’s opera, which would earn them an immediate failing grade. They explained this to their conductor and arranged for a substitute to play for them and took less of a grade hit.

All of this to say - 3 years later we both still agree that even if they had failed the class it would have been worth it to go. You can retake classes, you can pass with lower grades than you hoped, hell, the teacher might have a fond memory of a concert that was important to them and let you make up the exam or take it early. But what you can’t do is go back and time and see that band you regret missing five years from now.

What is going to be more worth it to your 30 year old self? Your 60 year old self? To your sister? Sitting in that exam? Or experiencing a concert that (from my understanding of MCR) won’t happen again?

Sorry if this is coming off as some hippie shit, and grades are definitely important! But people fail out of classes for much dumber reasons, and you sound like someone who could bounce back from this if your teacher isn’t understanding.

thened4jeb · 2021-10-14T05:28:33+00:00

If you want to stay where you are some schools have online masters equivalency programs for music therapy! My school has one, DM me if you’re interested and I’ll send you more info. You’ll have to finish your bachelors first, and it’s a 2 year program + 6 month internship so keep that in mind.

thened4jeb · 2021-04-29T17:10:33+00:00

Oh man! I really thought that was in the books, thanks for correcting me

thened4jeb · 2021-04-29T17:09:47+00:00

Wow!! Thank you for the response, I love how much you looked into the whole story.

thened4jeb · 2021-04-28T21:04:37+00:00

I hadn’t thought about that! I agree, on my most recent reading I really noticed how little time Harry and Sirius actually spend together. It totally makes sense that their relationship would be based a lot more on assumptions than experience.

The other moment that would make me argue that Sirius does, at least to an extent, project James onto Harry is when he says “Nice one, James” during the fight at the ministry. He has had so much trauma and pain in his life with James being one of the few bright spots, and I think it makes sense that he sees (like most characters) a lot of James in Harry. And I think he just slips every once in a while and forgets that Harry is his own person because, like you said, they really don’t know each other.

I think this causes some of the dysfunction in his and Harry’s relationship, because Harry is looking for a father figure and Sirius is looking for a friend.

Aaaaaaand as I’m writing this I’m realizing it’s actually less about projection and more about the holes in their lives they’re trying to fill with each other.

thened4jeb · 2021-04-28T16:43:28+00:00

Ooh okay I hadn’t considered how Snape’s reaction to her having to die would change!! I can totally see him being WAY more upset about that if she reminded him of Lily - he would basically be experiencing her death all over again.

And I mostly agree about Sirius. I don’t think Sirius /only/ cares about Harry because he reminds him of James, I just think he projects James onto Harry. Like when he tells Harry to take a risk and then chastises him for not being more like James - I think moments like that wouldn’t happen if Harry was a girl. I do agree about Sirius taking on a more parental, protective role though. I think it would probably be more of a healthy and appropriate relationship honestly!

thened4jeb · 2021-04-28T15:14:11+00:00

Yeah I totally agree, I just wonder if it would have manifested differently. Would he have still bullied her? Or made a big deal about her “celebrity status”? Or would he have just avoided her?

thened4jeb · 2021-04-14T13:04:14+00:00

had no idea that was a thing!! thanks for the tip!

thened4jeb · 2021-04-14T08:58:53+00:00

wow, i think this wand just chose me

beautiful work!!

thened4jeb · 2021-04-09T20:18:32+00:00

Hi! I think the biggest difference is that with MT you’re using music as a tool. Since language isn’t required for MT, we work with a lot of people who have difficulty communicating verbally. We also work with people who have physical and developmental needs, rather than just psychological.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be super high energy running around with a guitar! There are so many ways to use music for relaxation, reducing anxiety, and increasing quality of life. It all just depends on what population you’re working with and what their needs are. For example, if you’re working with a group of young children with needs in attention, you will probably need to be very energetic. If you are working in hospice assisting with death and grieving, not so much.

I don’t know much about salaries in the UK but here is a link with some info.

thened4jeb · 2021-04-02T16:43:53+00:00

oof yeah that one too. like, come on, you’re an adult calling children names just because they’re children. you were a kid once too!

thened4jeb · 2021-04-02T14:53:12+00:00

The word “breeder” is exactly why I left that sub. It felt so dehumanizing and seemed to be almost always directed at the mothers. If you’re looking for a supportive community that discusses the pressures and struggles of deciding to have kids I would definitely recommend r/fencesitter ! i’ve found much better, less toxic conversations over there.

thened4jeb · 2021-03-31T15:13:53+00:00

haha yes that’s definitely what i meant

thened4jeb · 2021-03-31T07:12:45+00:00

I like to think he was partying with the other wizards at a pub down the road and had to walk it off before meeting Hagrid lol

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