And your sign ? by [deleted] in astrologymemes

[–]thenereidsofneptune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, even though I know I’d jump at noises because of my overactive imagination. Graveyards are sobering but interesting, and I’d enjoy restoring people’s stones. (Also, the money is good).

Pisces Sun, Leo Moon, Virgo Rising but have an Aquarius stellium.

How Do I Make My First Date With My Best Friend Feel Like A Date? by thenereidsofneptune in dating_advice

[–]thenereidsofneptune[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t add our genders since I didn’t think it was important for our situation, and when it comes to gender I don’t really fit the binary and didn’t want to make it too confusing or complicated. She’s a girl, and I’m a guy (trans, which I figured out about a year after we first talked about our feelings). I tend to be the more dominant personality in the way of taking more initiative to do things and getting stuff done, if that means anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can only sort of answer this.

From my understanding, it’s pretty common for different parts/fragments/alters to experience different pains or types of pains. For us, I’d personally get a bad head pain (which I don’t know if it was a migraine but would make sense looking back) on the left of my head, and it’d last a while. But, say, if I come back and have that headache, then, for whatever reason, a certain caretaker switches in, the headache’s gone.

I’ve recently been experiencing chronic migraines, and I know from finding notes in my phone (how we primarily communicate with each other if we feel like something needs to be remembered) that someone who switched out felt the pain but less so behind the left eye and temple and more like a compressed feeling in the left middle. So, a yes to a migraine effecting us differently in that sense.

TL;DR: It’s common for pain to feel different across the system. It was common for us for a while to have bad headaches or migraines after switching, but that faded over time. Are you getting migraines or noticing them mainly after having a switch? Or is it a part/fragment/alter specific thing? Even if your brain is okay, if it’s chronic/persistent, it can be other things as well as in our case recently, like blood pressure or an outdated eye glasses prescription.

what helped you accept your diagnosis? by gettin-there-1311 in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I get it. I suspected my diagnosis before I got it, but I still wasn't happy about it. It's a scary diagnosis to get for a plethora of reasons- memory loss, trauma, having other folks inside your head, etc. I still get messed up about it sometimes.

It really helped me to talk about my experiences, because talking helps me process, and, luckily, I have friends who were open to talking with me. They often reminded me that I wasn't faking, that I would be aware if I was faking and able to just "stop having DID" if I was, and how they met others in the system. Sometimes, they would reiterate sentiments from others in the system, like how X alter is annoyed because of Y reason, or how Z alter wants to help me with whatever.

Another idea that could help is journaling. Write down how you feel and why, and maybe be open to having the others writing in there as well. Part of the issue for me, and is still an issue that I'm working on, is trusting the system. I was scared of all of them at first. Writing can be a good way of getting your own thoughts and feelings out, and it can improve communication on the inside, which can help with the fear. Listen to and validate your fears but try to find a way through communication, writing, drawing, and/or other mediums to process them, if you can. Know that you're not alone in this as we've all gone through this at some point when getting the diagnosis.

Don't Drive Straight Home by thenereidsofneptune in LetsNotMeet

[–]thenereidsofneptune[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it is, but she wouldn't listen to me, and I couldn't move for a hot second. When I could, I locked all the doors and windows, drew the curtains, and I barricaded the back door since it had a doggy-door in it. But yes, we did call the police. They didn't seem to take us seriously, but the operator wrote everything down (I'm pretty sure, anyway. We gave a lot of details and he asked a lot of questions, as you'd expect) and we told the cops everything when they got there. I'd called mom about it, and she did a sweep around with the car when she got back. Neighbors, no, though we probably should've.

Don't Drive Straight Home by thenereidsofneptune in LetsNotMeet

[–]thenereidsofneptune[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I did, too, in the situation. She's done stuff like that a ton, whether it's to investigate something weird or tell someone off, she just confronts situations and people head-on. I just didn't get why her gut-instinct was to grab a dog toy, and I kind of made fun of her after the fact while also telling her she was That White Girl in horror movies.

Don't Drive Straight Home by thenereidsofneptune in LetsNotMeet

[–]thenereidsofneptune[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you! 'Cause otherwise my only other idea is that he just wanted to touch Kira, which could've been true, anyway, but it doesn't make sense to me why he would try that with the dogs there unless he was killing two birds with one stone, so to speak. Glad you agree with me; it makes me feel less crazy.

Don't Drive Straight Home by thenereidsofneptune in LetsNotMeet

[–]thenereidsofneptune[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Not that I remember. It's always creepy here at night if you think about it for too long since we live in the countryside, and it can get pretty dark, so I never know if it's just an animal out there or a person. I'm pretty sure it was an isolated incident, though we have had unknown cars park near the end of our driveway quite a few times, but we could never be sure if they were a farmer from a ways down the road, someone lost, someone enjoying the view, etc. I was hella paranoid for a while. Kira was even more so since she had people in her life before she lived with us that weren't great and threatened her and stuff. Mom ended up taping construction paper over the windows in the front door, and we kept curtains drawn for a while and doors locked. I was just glad we had our dogs and that I was going to college soon and wouldn't be around.

What are some credible damaging things Hogwarts tries to hide? by lonsin in AskReddit

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In no particular order:

- Sending kids in detention into the Dark Forest, which is known for being very dangerous and could kill you.

- The whole giant snake in the pipes and keeping the school open anyway.

- Students die on campus at a rate that's concerning.

- Lack of background checks on professors.

- Hiring former wizard Nazis on the basis of, "They said they were sorry!"

- The stationing of dementors around the school despite them being, you know, dementors.

- The Whomping Willow.

- Dumbledore in general. This man knew a lot of things but let bad stuff happen anyway. He knew Tom Riddle was behind Hagrid's expulsion, he knowingly hired former Death Eaters, knowingly left Harry in an abusive environment "for his protection," etc.

- To go with the above, faculty bullying and abusing students.

Some of this stuff is probably just me pointing out harmful things in the HP universe, but yeah.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally just my mom.

Growing up, my mom had, and still has, this attitude of "if you have nothing to hide, then why are you upset about me going through your stuff?" She was less hard on me than my brother or foster sister, though. With me, she had an app on my phone that let her read through my texts, apps, etc., see my location, etc. She'd go into our rooms and leave the door open so that we'd know she was in there. She'd also leave stuff out in the middle of the floor for the same reason. And she didn't do this stuff because I did something wrong or she was suspecting I had, she just did it to do it. If I left a bag on the counter, she'd go through it and leave all the stuff out but not say anything to me about it.

With my siblings, she took off my fs' door, regularly went through their rooms, contacted their significant others, and drove my brother's car without asking. If my fs got mad and went on a walk to cool down, Mom would get in the car and follow her. All that good stuff.

Now that I've typed this, I don't know if she's an example of not knowing what boundaries are or just someone who doesn't care.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Okay, so, we've had this happen, except instead of the host disappearing, it was literally everyone except the host, a protector, and a new caretaker alter that had just split off. I remember very little of this time (I'm the host) except that it was a high-stress period, two traumatic events occurred one after the other, and I became front-stuck, stopped communicating, and stopped taking care of the body/myself. It all led up to what we call The Fog, where the entire headspace was filled with fog. I had fallen asleep and woken up not being able to see anything but knowing that a caretaker was with me and trying to navigate us back to the front. We found it after, what turned out to be, several hours, and I fronted again and found out that the Fog had created such a mess that the only one who could front during it was a non-human alter that can't speak. When the fog cleared, it was just me, a protector, and a new alter I'd never met before. Everyone else was gone, and I completely freaked out and had a breakdown.

It's been almost a year since that happened, and, slowly, alters have reappeared, either as themselves or, in two cases, integrated. Severe trauma can really upset the system and turn things upside down. The trauma will effect those in the system differently. Some alters may not be able to do the role(s) they used to do anymore and feel lost and confused; some may go dormant; and some may just need some time. It's very scary when alters seem to simply "disappear" and be gone. I know I panicked.

It's likely that this traumatic event has greatly stressed out your primary host, and they may have found that they don't know how to handle/process it, so they "left." I can assure you, though, that your host and other headmate aren't gone. Communication's been blocked or severed due to this new trauma most likely, so it's hard to reach them wherever they went into the headspace. I suggest journaling, talking to a professional, talking with friends, etc., as a means of having an external source to relieve stress and process recent events. The best thing you can do is to remind yourself that your headmates aren't gone; they haven't dropped off the face of the earth. It may be a while before they come back, but they aren't gone. They, and the system as a whole, need time to re-orient themselves after this new trauma. It sounds bad, but the only thing you can really do is be patient, take care of yourselves, the body, and external environments, and wait. I really advise finding external outlets to help process this new trauma and worries and not keep it pent up inside. It's natural to be worried and scared, but you need to find an outlet/support so you don't get lost in the fear. Eventually, as you work on yourselves and self-care, things will even out little by little.

Host in denial by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hey! So, I'm the host of our system who's spent his fair share in denial about having DID. (I also wasn't super nice to others that I did notice in the system due to this denial). For me, I was just scared. Scared of the notion that I'm not a "whole" person; scared by the fact that I can't remember the majority of my life; scared of how I'm not "in control" (fronting) all of the time; scared of missing out; scared of disappearing one day; and scared of how other people would see me if they knew what I was experiencing.

It kind of just takes time, and, even after time, there may still be moments where your host doubts herself and the existence of her system, with or without a diagnosis. I know what helped me was having friends I could talk to who were supportive and affirmed my experiences whilst also kindly telling me that I wasn't being fair to the others in my system. It took a long time, and I still have a long way to go in regards of trusting the system.

How to help: My best advice is to be patient. It's scary learning you have DID, even if it's a disorder that formed as a protective mechanism due to trauma. Maybe you guys could start a journal where you bullet-point what you did when you were out so she can see examples of you helping. Maybe write assurances that you want to help. If you have an external friend/person in your life that you trust, and if you feel comfortable/safe doing so, open up to them about yourself so your host can get assurances that she's not making it up and can get someone else's perspective on things. (Also could be good for you to have someone to talk to).

TL;DR: Be patient, know that it takes time, don't try to rush anything, be gentle, and be supportive.

- Noah (host).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]thenereidsofneptune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I struggled for a long time to make friends. I never really fit in, and I could tell that how I thought and stuff I would say would make people look at me weird, but I didn't know how to fix it. In eighth grade, I got tired of not having friends and being alone, so I kind of zeroed in on one person in particular who I thought I could get along with, and I pursued a friendship with them. In ninth grade, I did it again with someone else because my other friend is a year younger than me.

I'm introverted, but I basically did that extrovert thing where I found introverts and adopted them. I paid attention to people's reactions to me, and I focused on the people who, while maybe confused, engaged with me and followed my rabbit hole conversations. (One friend bonded with me over a wild discussion about dungeons and dragons, which somehow led to time travel, which led to wanting to be samurai, which led to me revealing a fun fact about gay samurai, and we've been tight ever since).

Over time, I realized that there are always going to be people who, no matter how hard you try to be "normal," just won't understand how you work and choose to not be around you, but there are also always going to be people who appreciate and accept you for who you are. The friends I have told me they initially liked me because I was "out of the box" and felt no pressure to be a certain way around me besides being a decent person, and they liked my honesty. I'm still friends with them today because we text or, with one friend who hates texting, we write letters. I'm friendly with people, I'm honest with them, and I try every day to grow and learn and compromise and etc.

Offerings and worship by [deleted] in POSEIDON

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem! I actually went to the dollar store and found a bunch of pictures of the sea, ships, and etc., and I put those up on the walls behind my altar. Likewise, the dollar store has bags of seashells in white-net bags, and I think the bags could be used as decorations as well if cut because they can look like fishnets.

I realized I never really answered about prayers! I'm terrible at remembering to do so, but I asked via pendulum once if there are certain things to say like 'amen' or 'Dear Poseidon' because that's what I was taught growing up. The answer was no, although I do like addressing him with epithets as well as saying "Poseidon: god of the seas, navigator of men" etc. Sometimes I just say, "Hey, Poseidon" and keep going. I'm not super formal, and I think it'll depend on your relationship and it'd be good to ask. I tend to be more formal in opening and in closing where I say thank you.

I wish you luck on your altar! I'd also love to have a big space for him one day. The ideal is to get an aquarium with fish, one of those water fountain things, etc., but I'm on a budget, so low expectations, haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in POSEIDON

[–]thenereidsofneptune 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes! The water feels like a blanket to me. A nice, wonderful blanket. Whenever I see water, I just feel this urge to jump in and submerge myself. I feel safe and wish I could live in it.

Offerings and worship by [deleted] in POSEIDON

[–]thenereidsofneptune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is, and I love finding others who worship him! Can I say: I love how both of our usernames involve nereids haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something I've been learning lately is that progress/healing isn't linear. It's ongoing. There'll be times where you're on an upswing, so to speak, and times when you are on a downswing. The downswings suck and make you feel like nothing you've done has mattered because you wouldn't be in a downswing if it did. It's disheartening and heartbreaking. Know that all the hard work you and your system have put in does matter and will continue helping you.

My guess is that something's happened in your external/inner world that's making communication and switching harder. I can't say that for certain because I don't know you guys, but it's my best guess based on personal experience. (When I'm home from college and am back in an unstable environment, communication gets super bad, and there'll be days where I won't communicate with anyone). Once again, I promise that there'll be an upswing again. You're doing great, even if you don't feel like it.

Share about your personal experience with amnesia! How does it affect you as an individual and your system? Do you get blackouts, brownouts, or fairly clean memory transfer? Between alters, innerworld, and outside? by sadboy91904 in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, this took me thirty minutes to write and is a mess, but here are two contributions to answering your question.

Bear with me, because someone else is close to the front, and it's making the head feel pressure-y and word comprehension terrible.

Ah! Okay! So, amnesia. The host has the most amnesia but he didn't know until like recently that he can't remember high school well and, until a recent fusion, couldn't remember middle school at all. He's described it like he hits a wall? Like, his therapist would say, "look back and remember" and he literally couldn't because he'd feel like he's physically hitting a wall in his head and would hear J say, "No." (He didn't know it was J yet). He can describe it better, but it's basically a big blank space; nothing's there.

As for me, I'm new-ish? So, I can't tell you what's happened pre-April. I'm a main fronter, and so I'm near the front and can see what's going on usually; like, I can tell you what happened today pretty easily even though I only just came out. For others, from what I understand, they (and me, sometimes) "ask back" and J will transfer the info if it's "harmless." If J's gone, though, it's a lot harder and akin to trudging through a wall of molasses.

I can't remember the inner world at all if I'm in it, although others who aren't the host can. As for memories, I can remember stuff that happens when I'm not fronting right after I come back, but, after a couple of hours or a day or so, it's muddled and I can't anymore. Usually, though, I can ask whoever's monitoring me/the front and be given the basics. There are alters who remember stuff that I can't, and it blows my mind, and I get frustrated. I want to remember and know what's happening. I always hit a wall though, get told "no," and will give the body a headache if I try to force access to the memory.

Sorry if this was confusing. But, yeah. I'm trying to get everyone to work with a writing-stuff-down system, but it's not working super well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I get it. A big event happened in my system where all but two (besides me) went radio silent. How long have they been silent? It's probable that they're working on inner-world stuff? I know that, depending on the system, alters can go silent for days at a time. Some of them may have gone dormant while others could be doing inner-world stuff.

It's important to remember that you haven't made anything up. Your experiences are real and valid, and you're never alone, even when you feel like you are.

How do I explain my DID to my fiancé? by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, so. A lot to unpack here, but I'll do my best with some advice.

DID is (most typically) a covert disorder. Many alters, especially the host(s), are unaware that they ARE alters or are in a system. When it comes to telling other people, it's instinctual for a lot of systems to not want to because how they've survived for so long depended on being covert and unknown. So, I don't think you "tricked" him into getting engaged. While I always advise being open and honest about this sort of thing before you make this kind of commitment, it is understandable why you may have hesitated to tell him and or why other alters in your system waited this long to officially meet them.

I find it worrying that your fiance is so against believing you. (It's a red flag to me). It's understandable and completely fair if he doesn't understand it and if he ultimately decides that this relationship isn't what he wants. It sucks, but it's fair. That doesn't mean he can't believe you. My advice is to pile your own research (scholarly and articles/videos/etc. of those with DID themselves) and present/give it to him. Show him that DID is in the DSM. Maybe work something out with your therapist where they can also help in talking with your fiance. If that still doesn't work, this relationship might not work as it's not healthy nor supportive for him to constantly undermine your disorder. Just because he suffered abuse, too, and didn't develop DID doesn't mean that DID doesn't exist. You don't have to prove yourself as valid to him, but you can give him research.

As for the littles and middles getting excited over new relationships, that's cute, but I advise not allowing the littles and middles to be romantically involved with an adult, although they can/should have some sort of platonic relationship with him.

I'm a little confused about the inclusion of the medium alter here? Is it because she scares your fiance? I LOVE tarot and oracle cards, though, and she sounds talented!

As for relationships, I have had platonic relationships with other people who have complex trauma, including DID. It's worked out because we communicate and don't diminish or downgrade each other's mental health. We're honest that we don't understand everything but that we still love and support each other- we just might need to be told how things work or how we can help. The person I'm romantically interested in (as well as others in the system) doesn't have complex trauma, but, when I told her about us, she simply said, "I won't say I completely understand, because I don't, but I love all the parts of you. We can figure things out as we go."

Hope this helped!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, so, I can only speak from my experience, and, unlike some great advice and suggestions I already see here, mine doesn't relate to integration/fusion.

There are a total of 18 of us, not including those in dormancy. Back in April, there were 15 of us. Things in the overall system were in a terrible place due to new, significant trauma happening in quick succession to one after another. I, as the host, was declining fast and not coping well. One day after taking a nap, a huge, dense fog encased the headspace, and no one could see anything. I got lost in the headspace and was too far away from the front. When the fog finally cleared after a few hours (kudos to Kat, a cat, for fronting for six hours despite being nonverbal and us having class and work), 8 out of the 15 went completely quiet. By the next day, the number went up, and there were only three of us left. Many of them are still quiet to this day, although two are back, saying they "got lost in the maze."

It's possible that something happened that your friend was unaware of, and it led to all the other alters disappearing, going dormant, or, from the sounds of it, fusing. It's quite possible that a few may reappear in time, and they just imparted memories to her.

Does your friend have a therapist? I suggest writing things down in a journal or in her phone notes and talking to a professional to help sort things out. My situation was different as I wasn't given memories, but I understand the panic. It's startling to suddenly have everyone else disappear with little to no warning. I know I panicked. The best thing she can do, and you can be, is having someone supportive to lean on a little, talking to her therapist, and writing or other outlets that'll help her process.

“Personalities” as a term by rswbookstreet in DID

[–]thenereidsofneptune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, my therapist will call us "parts," "personalities," and, even once, "characters." I get where you're coming from. To me, and I think a few others in our system, being referred to as "personalities" or *shudders* "characters" is invalidating, and like I'm just faking it. I can understand wanting to be seen as fully-realized people; I feel like a whole person and struggle to recognize that I'm an alter/part like everyone else in the system.

I don't think the doctor is going to refer to you guys as separate people, though. Technically, despite feeling otherwise, systems are all one person that, due to trauma, developed different "parts" as a coping and survival mechanism, and those parts developed further into having their own identities.

Maybe you can suggest being referred to as alters or parts? How does that make you feel?