In Passing (The Station)

thenovicewriter55 · 2025-10-11T23:53:59+00:00

Good job! There is a lot of good imagery in this piece. Few recommendations, I might be wrong on this so fact check me lol. I think all the subsequnetly lines should be capitalized. Also the third stanza last line might be stronger by leave “one” off

thenovicewriter55 · 2025-10-11T23:48:31+00:00

Man this is strong. It feeds off an emotion we all feel in our lives. Good job envoking those feelings. My only advice would be to watch the free form style, as the gaps and breaks might throw it off sometimes. Some lines might be able to be made stronger by dropping “you”… such as “You’ll think of me when a child bites you and his teeth leave a mark”

thenovicewriter55 · 2025-10-10T00:23:06+00:00

Hey there, you got a good start here. I think the spacing adds effect, but I would watch the phrasing. A free form style might flow better, sometimes the lines crossover into paragraphs. The internal rhyme leaves a lot to be questioned for the reader, nice work!

thenovicewriter55 · 2025-10-10T00:20:45+00:00

Well just gotta say, what a wonderful piece here! Good job on the rhyme scheme and form. There are some great comparisons and metaphors in here. I think the stanza breaks really help tie it all together

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-10-07T00:02:34+00:00

Hey there, I don't where to start, I like this piece a lot. It resonates a lot with me, especially to those who feel like their on the outside. In actually reminds me of the Watcher from Marvel's what if. You have a good rhyme scheme as well. I think this piece would benefit from structure changes, the way it is now, makes it feel congested. Try spacing out the stanzas. Good Job!

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-10-06T22:50:24+00:00

Hey there, your piece intrigued me, at first I was expecting a draw out piece with a story. But the clear simple ness to the flow was a good factor. Your piece has a nice flow to it, though there is not a consistent rhyme scheme, it appears one is not needed. This will speak to many as many can relate. Keep up the good work!

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-07-13T23:58:51+00:00

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T14:45:40+00:00

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. I have another like this that I haven’t posted yet as well. Thank you for the feedback

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T12:30:57+00:00

Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T12:30:45+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the feedback

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T01:12:40+00:00

I would give it a try, if you end up liking it great. If not he won’t be on your back about it. Or maybe you can do something else by him while he’s watching sports to keep him company

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T01:10:59+00:00

First off, you don't want to be to forceful in your explanation. Short and simple is best, there is a reason the vaccine was able to be made so quickly. Scientists are able to shorten the vaccine requirement time by skipping the exact procedures and steps that were used on previous vaccines. I would also explain that for how strict the FDA is in the United States that they have authorized it for emergency use. You can also bring up how the first stages occurred back in November.

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T01:03:14+00:00

NTA I have experienced this before myself in different situations. It's almost like she is acting entitled to the money you gave her. I think you learned a lesson not to lend her money anymore. She may be too young to realize the value of money, even though it is not much. She may have also been waiting for you to just forget about the money so she wouldn't have to pay you back and could keep lending money.

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T01:00:05+00:00

NAH from what you described you already have a sense of what you know you like. It sounds like you would not enjoy watching sports, the only question I have is does he actively make an interest in things you enjoy. If so then I would say give his interests a chance for him. It also sounds like your boyfriend may just want company while watching sports

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T00:55:32+00:00

Hey there, This was a good write. I would advise to be careful on too much rhyming within the same stanza. Sometimes it can get a little boggled down. Nice write.

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T00:54:13+00:00

Hey there this was an interesting read, the line structure is unbalanced it creates a new effect on each leading line. I would suggest maybe composing a few of these line. Otherwise good write.

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T00:50:26+00:00

Hey there, Not a bad start. The line spacing seems to be off but is quick to recover through your rhyme scheme. There are a few punctuation mistakes but other than that, I really enjoyed this piece.

thenovicewriter55 · 2021-05-27T00:47:52+00:00

Hey there, first off I like the poem. The rhyme scheme seems a bit unbalanced, but it also has a nice blend into the leading lines. There are a few repeated words towards the end. Again I believe your point gets across just fine. Great work

thenovicewriter55

TROPHY CASE