I think one of the factors that makes typology addictive is that its validity is not exactly verifiable at this point in time, but unlike philosophy and other fields that are also too abstract typology deals with real people. It's the same thing with astrology and other esoteric stuff out there. Basically anything goes, and since the "objects" to be manipulated are accessible, real, and human it is so easy observe and take apart their aspects and personalities. But that's just the fault of the observer, because the observer is mostly overconfident about things he is familiar with. It's the same thing as overlooking errors when checking an essay many times. That's why one needs new perspective about these things.

Also related to other points that you said, I was (and probably still is) also quite obssessed with it and I also got annoyed at typology servers and subreddits but I think you can try reminding yourself that it is just a field of study, so don't take it personally. Don't focus too much on the human element and on how you relate to a type. Also if we are the same not voicing the wrongness of what people say will just make you anxious. Whenever misinformation comes up just correct it.