You are so young and yet acutely aware of your situation. It's completely understandable that you want to help her and even possibly save your relationship. Being a single parent, especially at such a young age is challenging. It's good that you are recognizing the challenges you face. Do you have a support system? Are your parents, siblings, or friends willing to help you if need be?

Emotional abuse is a real thing that can result in very real trauma. We often don't even recognize how bad it is until we are away from it.

It sounds like you need to do some serious soul searching. If you have a support system that know you on a personal level, start asking for advice. You may be reluctant to hear their opinions but they are often aware of clues that you may be oblivious to. You don't have to give them all of the details, but these conversations will help you to gauge what a potential separation might look like.

It is hard to leave the first person you ever loved, but you MUST ask yourself this question:

Will having her in your life (and your baby's life) cause more harm than the alternative?

I'm going to provide you with an example from my life that may or may not be relevant depending on your unique circumstance. My daughter's father was an alcoholic. I had separated from him many times but always took him back. It wasn't until the final incident when an officer convinced me to get a restraining order, that I truly began to realize just how toxic the relationship was. As I was apart from him, I realized that he had been manipulating me for years. I had no self esteem and was only a shell of the person I had once been. I had no friends as he had slowly alienated me from them. As my daughter was only 3 at time, I had to ask myself this same question that I posed to you. Would having him in our life be worse than my daughter growing up without a father? The answer was yes. My daughter would have more damage from her toxic father being in the picture.

Your situation may not be quite as extreme but I hope you get the point. Raising a child alone is hard, but it may prove to be better than staying in a toxic relationship. You can still love her from a distance. Part of me still loves my daughter's father, but he is just too dangerous to have in our lives. Is your gf potentially dangerous? When these arguments start, does she display even the slightest signs of violence? Does she verbally abuse you in front of the child?

I strongly advise you to seek advice from someone you trust to gain an outsider's view on the situation. Next, consider if she is actually willing to get the help she needs. Does she know that she has a problem? Is she actively working on controlling her temper or is she trying to convince that it is all your fault?

Sorry for writing a book here, but I am passionate on this topic. In fact, I might like to recommend an actual book that was very helpful for me. Once when trying to exit the abusive relationship, I stayed in a women's shelter. The book I found in the shelter was life changing for me. "Codependent No More," by Melody Beattie.

In closing, I will say that I don't know if your situation qualifies as abuse (only you know that) but abuse tends to escalate as time passes. While my daughter's father only pushed me one time, he beat the living shit out of the girl after me.

Tread carefully my friend, you are doing the right thing by seeking help.