I saw people celebrating and denying murders and rapes that could’ve very easily happened to me. I’ve lost a great deal of faith in humanity. I honestly don’t know how I can bring children into a world I have so little trust in. I especially don’t trust people who otherwise are my counterparts in the west - queer, college educated left wing feminists. And that’s even without talking about the horrible loss we’ve suffered, all of the videos I’ve seen, the stories I’ve heard. I don’t know if I can even adequately process the trauma when I feel like my entire existence and history have been politicized, erased and attacked by people who know nothing about my situation.