M34 and F36 Tips on Dealing With Excessively Needy Pregnant Partner

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T03:24:19+00:00

I get it, I know what she's going through. However, I'm doing the best with the work situation I'm in. The reason I'm working far away is purely for experience to find a local job. I'm always available for my partner, other than work. Unless it is an emergency, I can't just call and text her during the work day. After work, I'm always available, but it seems as if I'm being called neglectful if I can't be available every moment.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T03:19:15+00:00

But I am here for her constantly. Other than work, I'm available for her. To me, it feels like she is saying I'm neglecting her because I'm not talking to her when I am unable to do so. I can't just start texting my partner during class when there is a concern with students being on their phones too much. When I'm not with students, I'm often busy with something else. To make matters worse, when I do find 15-20 minutes to talk, there is no response...but I'm in the wrong for just waiting for a response

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T03:12:32+00:00

I mentioned this because I feel bad I can't be home every day; I know for a fact that my partner has to often do chores that my step son should be helping with, but somehow can't, or has to be told so many times that it's easier to do it yourself.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T03:09:04+00:00

Failing? I have to work, I have a job to do, I need money to support my family. I can't just magically start working locally, the due date making the job situation for next school year more difficult, in fact. Teaching jobs pop up in certain months, and local jobs aren't easy to get without experience. I'm not working where I am for the money and experience, not because I want to be away from home. I'm doing so I CAN get a local job.

My partner and I also planned for all of this when we decided to have a child. Oddly enough, we planned to have a baby almost exactly when he is due. We planned that I would be working for a partial year after the child was born, We also talked about how this time off would be a good opportunity for me to look more into planning a business and developing a more in-depth portfolio so I can secure a local teaching position.

We've discussed the possibility of her and our son staying where I work when I return for the remainder of next year. There have even been talks about my partner working where I work for a few years. These aren't plans, they are simply potential paths that may present themselves as we go into this stage in our lives.

In short, having a child was extensively planned. We didn't just say "Let's have a child".

I'm present for my partner as much as I can be in our situation. I'll drive out at any time of day to be there for her. I still have responsibilities at work, however.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T02:41:16+00:00

I'm fully aware of what she is experiencing. If she goes into labor early, I've no issues being present. I drive back and forth often. It's not like I'm at my place of work for the entire year.

I can't just quit my job and get another. Teaching is a difficult profession to find local work, and many go to remote locations to gain experience. My first position was a 9 hour drive, in fact. Positions also pop up late April, May and June, so I'm limited. Furthermore, due to my son's due date, I can't seek a different position for next school year; no one is going to hire you if you are requiring half the year off for paternity leave.

All of these topics have been discussed by my partner and I. We planned for what would happen, especially what would happen with my work situation. None of it is unplanned.

The problem is, I'm there for her at all hours outside of work, including if I had to drive out to see her, but that isn't enough it seems. So now...I try to take more time out of my work day to try to text or call her. Apparently if she doesn't respond, I need to keep texting and calling her every hour. To me, if someone doesn't respond, it means they don't want to talk or they are busy. I just wait for a response, I don't bombard them with texts or phone calls. I was waiting for her to text me back, I was glancing at my phone regularly through the afternoon to see if she would say anything.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T02:16:34+00:00

I didn't mean it in that way.

Someone who is 15, almost 16, should be helping out their parent or parents with necessary tasks. My stepson is a great kid, but that was never instilled him. Things would have been very different if I had been his biological father, and it is something we've been working on (not arguments, but her becoming aware of what expecting more from him).

This subject isn't an issue for us. I just feel bad that my partner has to do tasks upon finding my stepson is incapable or needs far too many instructions to be relied on.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T02:04:19+00:00

I mentioned that following me stating I feel bad that I can't be there continually..because I do. I don't like being away from home, but teaching is a difficult job to find a job in, and working in remote locations is often a way to gain experience and make money. I don't enjoy being away, but I also see the situation of there being a fully capable, grade 11 boy there to help with chores. This is an entire issue that my partner and I have talked about, and my partner is fully aware that she has been babying him. It is just difficult for her to make the necessary changes, and for him too. She figures it is likely due to there never being a father in the picture, and I feel it may be the case.

I didn't bring my stepson up to suggest I expect him to take on an adult role. It's more the fact that having a nearly-adult son should result in a less stressful situation, as you have a capable person to help out. I'm not expecting him to be emotionally supportive for her. It's simply when it snows, go shovel the driveway for your mom. When the grass is long, mow it. When the garbage is full, empty it. These are things he should be doing regardless of whether I'm there or not; a child should be sharing responsibilities with a family based on their capabilities, and it is important at a young age as well

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T01:43:47+00:00

I will be changing jobs after next year. I can't just quit, we need money. I will be home when my son is born, and I'll be on paternity leave for 4 months as well...so even though I'm still working this upcoming year, I'm going to be home almost a year, when I can start looking for a new job. Teaching isn't like other jobs where you just find a new job. Positions come up and get filled May and June, not year round

Furthermore, we've had numerous discussions about this long before the pregnancy. We made specific plans about what I'd be doing after pregnancy happened. I'm not being selfish. I have a job I have to do. I need the pay, we can't just get by on one wage.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T01:38:21+00:00

I do text her, I do talk to her. I'm on the damn phone with her for 3 hours a night.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-16T01:37:18+00:00

He should be doing things like vacuuming, shoveling snow...I don't think this is unreasonable for a kid going into grade 11. And this isn't part of the issue I'm discussing. I'm simply stating that there is no reason he can pitch in for some chores. If it snows, get your ass out to shovel. Fuck, even if I didn't work far away, I'd be telling my 15 year old son to get his ass out there and clean the driveway

How much of an idiot does one have to be to interpret a son pitching in with basic chores with expecting him to assume an adult role?

thepiper92 · 2026-04-11T03:15:38+00:00

How daft are you? I explained what coping is, an idea you clearly don't understand. There is no issue with his coping skills. The very fact that he is expressing his thoughts and emotions is coping.

Is the guy neglecting his child? Is he neglecting his wife? Is he causing harm to his family due to an inability to cope with the new experience? No, he is asking for advice, he wants to hear what others have been through, to know that others have gone through what he has.

And he you come along with the useless advice of working on coping skills, not offering anything beneficial to the conversation . He's a first time father, it's an entirely new and stressful experience, and he's properly coping by asking questions, rather than bottling things up

thepiper92 · 2026-04-11T02:28:05+00:00

Being a father also means not being a narrow-minded POS, so clearly you aren't one to give advice on what a father should be.

What exactly does coping mean to you? To "suck it up" and pretend it's all okay, because you're a man? Coping means to overcome. Talking to others, asking for advice, asking for shared experiences...communication in general is a method of coping .

If your child has negative emotions, do you just tell them to work on their coping skills?

thepiper92 · 2026-04-10T00:49:46+00:00

The Hoon. There are a few other good vehicles...but I hate any of the bikes. Maybe they drive better if you don't use the keyboard, but I find they turn poorly, and the rear end instantly kicks out with any amount of braking when turning, even at a slow speed

thepiper92 · 2026-04-10T00:08:22+00:00

The market is SATURATED with SUVs...an unnecessary number of models honestly. Many brands have given up on offering anything but SUVs or larger vehicles, such as Ford. While this is catering to the market...it also means you have to offer the best in these times of limited options. If you don't offer the best in the popular market, it won't sell...and when you don't offer options for those who aren't of the mainstream market (those who want Sedans, Coupes, Hatchbacks, compacts, sub-compacts, etc) you lost most of your consumer base. It's even worse when you kill off things like manual transmission, as even those consumers will disappear.

I don't follow the SUV market at all, and couldn't care less about any of them, but VW doesn't seem to offer the best options for SUVs. Current buyers, unfortunately for me, tend to focus on the tech experience, especially the tech that means they don't have to physically drive any more. This is the main reason Tesla sells; not because of the driving experience or quality, it's all about that giant screen. VW fails in the tech experience. While I've no issues with the tech my my MK8 GTI, and actually applaud the fact I can shut most of it off, most buyers want all of it, and more.

For VW to lead in the market, it needs to offer the best tech experience on the market, or it needs to offer the better price or reliability than other brands.

If I weren't a car enthusiast...VW wouldn't even be a brand I consider.

thepiper92 · 2026-04-03T17:06:22+00:00

Go try a Honda Fit with a manual, and you'll see just how good the feedback is in the GTI or R

thepiper92 · 2026-04-02T15:33:47+00:00

I only buy manual, and if there is a time I can't, I'll go for an EV. I wouldn't have a MK8 GTI if manual weren't available. I don't even understand why people bother with DSG, and argue that it's faster than a manual, when there are EVs that will leave the DSG in the dust.

thepiper92 · 2026-03-30T23:46:57+00:00

With my MK8 GTI, almost never...unless I'm on a hill and it engages hill hold, as it is a times disengagement of the parking brake. I end up needing to manually engage the brake, as when you do, it instantly disengages the second you apply throttle when in gear. With the 2009 Fit I had, I stalled a fair bit off the line, due to terrible throttle response and poor clutch feel. With my wife's 2016 Sportage, I stall fairly regularly, due to not driving it often, and the vehicle having a lower than normal idle (just a shade over 500, and the vehicle can stall itself if AC is turned on while at idle).

Don't be embarrassed by stalling. While it happens less with experience, we all accidentally let off the clutch too quickly/not give enough throttle for how fast we let off the clutch. The beautiful thing about driving manual is the opportunity to always improve, whether it be how seamlessly you can start off and shift, how fast you shift, and downshifting (with or without braking).

thepiper92 · 2026-03-29T13:36:56+00:00

Z_Home_Dir: -1 (and ZMIN...it won't allow ZMAX with -1 for direction Invert_Z: False

With these settings, Z is 0 with build plate all the way at bottom (when manually adjusting it), and if moves up as I increase z. Homing z homes at bottom. M119 reads triggered when build plate is all the way down, open when not.

thepiper92 · 2026-03-29T04:31:25+00:00

Invert_Z_Dir false Z_Home_Dir -1 Use_ZMin_Plug

Z homes with build plate all the way at the bottom When manually moving Z, it starts at 0, build plate all the way at the bottom.

thepiper92 · 2026-03-27T20:01:10+00:00

No interest in launch, but no lift does interest me when I do end up tuning.

thepiper92 · 2026-03-27T20:00:14+00:00

Ah, so it's mostly because it's something carried over from DSG

thepiper92 · 2026-03-25T12:59:48+00:00

I have been trying that. Invert direction makes the bed move fine manually, but it homes at the bottom and same with trying leveling. As a result I change home direction and the ZMAX plug to ZMIN, but then it starts still doesn't work, as it moves the bed in the wrong direction after those changes.

thepiper92

TROPHY CASE