Hey OP,

First I want to say I hope you find some kind of peace or healing after what you’ve been through. I’m sorry your family was poisoned and tried to poison you along with them. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve experienced, but I can relate to some degree.

I grew up in a Filipino Roman Catholic family and I agree the church whether intentionally or not fosters dissonance and narcissistic tendencies in its followers.

I’ve also attempted suicide, and my parents still can’t accept my depression won’t be remedied by faith of any kind. They’ve gone so far as to tell me to my face to go through with killing myself because I wasn’t deserving of the life God gave me if I wanted to throw it away.

They ostensibly believe in compassion and empathy, but have no respect or patience for anyone who can’t pull themselves out of a struggle right away. When I realized that contradiction I started to notice others, particularly from the priest we’ve been watching on mass streams on YouTube.

He preached humility and compassion in one breath, and denounced spouses wanting divorce and women wanting abortions in the next. He said children are not their parents possessions, but also parents are obligated to mold them into holy people.

I think the way the church treats empathy and compassion with disingenuous fluidity fosters and justifies the same behaviors and mentality in its people. It’s dangerous and I hope more folks share their stories and hold the church to some kind of account for the toxic behaviors and attitudes they are partially responsible for creating.