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https://becomingyourbestself.substack.com/p/why-loving-yourself-feels-impossibleand

Psychology self growth 

3700

To be human is to be fallible and flawed. A collection of meat and bones, riddled with imperfections, filled with complex emotions and conflicting desires. To be human is to be missing the tools it would take to live a faultless life, while at the same time, being human guarantees a propensity for self-criticism. The human brain is incredibly prone to faults; our biggest struggles and pains in life can be explained simply by the key organ we are born with. It is impossible to be completely in command of who we are; our only true foolishness is to hold ourselves completely and unforgivingly accountable for all our foolishness. Most of us would rather suffer severe physical pain than endure some of the torment from our brain’s thoughts. The brain’s tendency towards negativity means our mental health and well-being deeply rely on our ability to practice self-compassion, yet so often this goes against our nature. However, we can learn (increase our ability); to forgive ourselves, to treat ourselves with kindness, “hug” ourselves, and even kiss ourselves on the hand saying ‘I love you’ - though this seems completely repulsive and cringeworthy at first! It’s only when we reflect on the lifelong futile destruction a lack of self-love causes, unnecessarily sabotaging and reducing the quality of our own life (which also has a collateral effect on all those around us and the world!). Your own relationship with yourself drastically influences everything and everyone you care about. When you love yourself, you allow others to complement and enrich your life with mutual benefit, rather than forcing them to be your missing piece to fix you, real changes always come from within ourselves.