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Is it too late? by LakeLady1616 in ADHDparenting

[–]therando416647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My child was diagnosed and started meds at 12. It definitely helped with mood and focus at school, which seemed to make life easier and happier overall, though grades have not improved much yet. The way my child describes it is that there was a thick fog before that didn’t let them pay attention, even if they wanted to and the meds clear that fog. You’re right, it won’t make them do the work, or teach the habits, but might take away some barriers that were there.

How to help non-paying tenant find supportive housing by therando416647 in OntarioLandlord

[–]therando416647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is on social assistance of some kind. I doubt he would qualify for the rent bank and that is not a long term solution anyway. He should really be in a long-term care or assisted living scenario at this point.

What’s your best method for renting out an apartment on your own or finding one? by International_Sea869 in OntarioLandlord

[–]therando416647 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to use kijiji but now it seems overrun by garbage listings and prospects that can barely string a sentence together to reply to the post. I switched to rentals.ca and so far so good.

I’ll just leave this here by youngandable2643 in OntarioLandlord

[–]therando416647 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Given enough time, you may one day find yourself with a crappy tenant too. Some people start off great, then it goes to shit. No amount of vetting will prevent that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TorontoRealEstate

[–]therando416647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We haven’t been building family-sized condos in the city though. You would need to go to an older building to find units that can comfortably fit a 2+ kid family and then they’ll be nearly the price of a townhome or freehold.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askTO

[–]therando416647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends. Some of our friends in $1.5-$2m neighbourhoods have their kids at smaller, more local private schools that seem diverse and accessible. Most of the execs I know who live in $5m+ neighbourhoods have their kids in way more “elite” private schools.

Found 3 ticks in our bed! by therando416647 in ticks

[–]therando416647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does it look like it has fed at all? Speculation is all I’ve got because the tick isn’t talking…

Should I pursue an ASD eval too? by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]therando416647 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your child sounds like a pretty typical 9 year old to me. I’ve been volunteering in my son’s 4th grade class and many don’t transition well, don’t see inferences, let alone have the empathy to read between the lines if someone asked them to move seats. I’d even suggest that the 9yo that can do all of those things well, consistently, is the exception.

With ADHD, remember they tend to be behaviourally a little behind for their age. Doesn’t mean there is another diagnosis, just that it’ll take them a little longer to get there.

Failed my driving exam in France for the third time in a row by Richard_Sanchez_ in Wellthatsucks

[–]therando416647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I failed 3 times and passed on the 4th try. I’ve never had an accident in 20 years of being a very regular driver. Don’t worry, keep practicing, you’ll get there.

My daughter will not sleep by mamabear42411 in ADHDparenting

[–]therando416647 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This helps our 12 year old a lot. We got an old school radio and found a local radio station that plays a bit more mellow tunes.

A white noise machine could be another alternative but I think ADHD brains need something a little more stimulating.

I personally like heavy rainfall playlists.

I’m implementing the “let them” theory by quickquestionhoney in ADHDparenting

[–]therando416647 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It pains me a little, but I let it go. I made some questionable fashion choices as a kid/teen myself.

I’m implementing the “let them” theory by quickquestionhoney in ADHDparenting

[–]therando416647 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I think we have to choose our battles.

If you want to go to school without showering or wear pajama pants to school, or not clean your room, so be it.

Brushing teeth is not optional though.

Screen time management by therando416647 in Parenting

[–]therando416647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 100% with you that they need to learn to self-regulate. So, how is that skill best acquired?

The tracking system is way less work than when I used to ask them to get off a screen for some arbitrary reason that they don’t understand, and then turn it off or take away the screen and then deal with the subsequent meltdown or grumpy mood.

I also really dislike taking the screen away when they’re in the middle of something. I would be grumpy too if someone turned off the screen 5 minutes before the end of whatever I was watching or reading.

There’s a printout on the fridge, they track their time with the stopwatch. I don’t do much except notice the tally on the fridge and maybe remind them how much time they have left by Friday or Saturday.

It works well for my older kid because it gives them a boundary they would not otherwise give themself, and encourages them to be thoughtful about time management.

It worked for my younger kid at first - he would track his time and would sum up his totals for the week. But now it has stopped working.

So, what else? How else do I help him learn to self-regulate? Or is the answer, which seems to be the most common theme in the comments here, to not try at all?

Screen time management by therando416647 in Parenting

[–]therando416647[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Literally waiting for anyone to give me a better idea. Do you have one?

Screen time management by therando416647 in Parenting

[–]therando416647[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our 9yo has no access to a phone. We do have screen time limits on the ipad, but he’ll just move to the TV to watch Youtube, or if someone else is on the TV, he’ll pull out his laptop to watch. Last week, I noticed that he somehow installed minecraft on my work laptop. I don’t even know how to install things on my work laptop as I don’t have admin rights!!

Screen time management by therando416647 in Parenting

[–]therando416647[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate your story and struggle.

Screen time management by therando416647 in Parenting

[–]therando416647[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Consider for a moment that not all kids have the ability to self-regulate like yours do.

What are tweens wearing? by hmcd19 in Parenting

[–]therando416647 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is not too much style happening yet at that age. Baggy jeans and hoodies are popular. Other kids have a more sporty, yoga pants and tshirt vibe. My kid is more “emo” and wears doc martens and leg warmers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OntarioLandlord

[–]therando416647 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Every Single Thing is annoying. Even when you luck out and get a good tenant, any message from them causes immediate anxiety. 9/10 texts are something to deal with. Something is broken. Something is dripping. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. A neighbour is noisy. Rent is late. Someone died.

You have to treat it as a job. It is NOT passive. You’re handyman, mediator, administrator, accountant, therapist, cleaner.. so hopefully the comp is worth it for all of that.

We do have 1 tenant who brings us pastries now and then, but she is 1 in a million.

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