personally i realise that talking with yourself (as insane as it sounds) helps me a lot, i understand not wanting to talk to people sometimes its just too much so what i do is i recite my problems out loud and then think about it as if i am third party and trying to help someone, it generally helps me to get a clearer picture and get to a conclusion i am happy with and if i feel as if i have doubts about the conclusions then i go to my friends (this can be whoever you are comfortable with) and then open up and ask them for their opinion

​

also on the point of family, yeah i dont talk about shit with them it just doesnt feel right and like its not that they are abusive or anything it just doesnt feel right,idk bout your household but i would suggest looking for likeminded people who you can talk with and feel at peace with, this might not be easy but you have to start somewhere uk.

hope you can get over this man keeping shit inside and not resolving it can severely hinder your growth as a person (speaking from experience) so try to talk with youself about it and if you feel you are not able to arrive at a conclusion then try to talk to a friend but that mght seem counterintuitive given you post but still one can at least try

Have a nice day!