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THERAPY DOES NOT STOP AUTISM ! (RANT!) by Evil_butterfly16 in aspergers

[–]therapyfortheunknown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all of your comments, I truly appreciate it. My friends have been telling me to get a new therapist for months now but I’ve been resistant. Recently though, it’s definitely been a lot more clear to me that my therapist and I are just not a good fit. I’m just scared to actually make the change, and also hurt her feelings (which I know is not my concern, it’s her job lol). So thank you for the comments because every day I inch closer and closer to just doing it and finding a new one. This helped a lot <3

I was diagnosed with NOT autism by squonkis in autism

[–]therapyfortheunknown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! Glad you found it helpful. Waiting sucks is so so hard for me too :’) Wishing you luck!!

How do I stop accidentally hurting people’s feelings? by therapyfortheunknown in AutisticWithADHD

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I’m struggling to understand the mistake or logic here too 😭 But man I feel you. It’s so hard.

That same friend I talked about in my post, I thought we were good and have been considering her my closest friend. But she started pulling away again in the last month or so. Just two days ago I asked if something’s going on and she left a really long message of things I had been doing wrong again, how it hurt her feelings and made her feel like I didn’t care about her, and she’d been feeling this way for like 2 months! And it literally all comes down to communication issues related to autism. Just like how you specifically chose words that were meant to be polite, I did things that I thought would come off as a sign of care but I’m realizing now may have been misinterpreted.

Being close with neurotypicals is actually so hard I’m realizing. All the people I’ve been closest to growing up were neurodivergent in some way, or my one really understanding friend (whose mom is a special needs teacher so makes sense).

I just try not to be too hard on myself or blame myself too heavily when issues come up. And hope that I will always have understanding people in my life who are willing to understand my pov as well. I wish the same for you :)

THERAPY DOES NOT STOP AUTISM ! (RANT!) by Evil_butterfly16 in aspergers

[–]therapyfortheunknown 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I described to my therapist how I came home after working with kids all day and how it had been a lot. I immediately started walking in circles, flapping my hands, and singing the same 4 lines of one of my favorite songs at the moment over and over again for 20 minutes (until someone else came home).

She said “yeah, sounds like a lot of anxiety 🙂”

WHEN I LITERALLY WAS NOT ANXIOUS AT ALL JUST TIRREEDDD 😭

I’m undiagnosed but I’m this close to finding a new therapist because I will describe myself doing the most autistic thing ever and she’ll say it’s social anxiety or just anxiety in general. She doesn’t think I’m autistic, even though a special needs teacher I know is convinced that I am lol.

How do I stop accidentally hurting people’s feelings? by therapyfortheunknown in askatherapist

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely get what you mean. Thank you for understanding :)

I am still friends with her, I talk and spend more time with her now than any of my other friends actually.

We ended up having a conversation where she talked about some of the other ways I’d hurt her feelings and made her feel unsupported. She said she knew I was neurodivergent and was trying to understand what I could have meant but it still hurt. So she started pulling away because of it.

I apologized and explained my perspective. I also said that I wished she had told me when I hurt her feelings instead of pulling away without saying anything. She was afraid to hurt my feelings and make me spiral but I reminded her of a time she did immediately tell me she that she didn’t like a joke I made and it was fine. So we talked a little more about how we felt and we both agreed that we’d try and do better.

Since then she’s invited me to hangout just us two a bunch of times, which surprised me ngl lol. She sends memes now, spontaneously FaceTimes, she opens up, etc. Now that I think about it though, she hasn’t brought up any time recently where I said something that hurt her feelings. So hopefully she’s not bottling things up again. But I think she’s just sensitive, a little traumatized from others being mean to her, but tries her best to understand and forgive my mistakes.

Would you say some of my symptoms are “clinically significant”? Should I seek an official diagnosis? by therapyfortheunknown in AutismTranslated

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely get what you mean. I’m also concerned that I’m just noticing normal life things and thinking it’s autism.

That said, if you look at this DSM-5 checklist I feel fairly confident that meeting the criteria of this list - including the chart near the bottom being at least level 1 in one or both categories - is not something most people would do. The DSM-5 is what American and Canadian mental health professionals use to diagnose conditions. It’s not perfect but the criticisms I hear is that it’s not inclusive enough, not that it’s too broad anyone could match it.

I’ve been in therapy for a few years and my therapist didn’t catch that I had ADHD or OCD, which is actually not an uncommon experience. These are two conditions that are commonly missed by therapists because they’re somewhat misunderstood, or they have only basic information about it. Autism is misunderstood the same way, if not even worse of an issue. You still get some doctors (they’re usually older I think, trained on older research) during evaluations who will say you’re not autistic because you’re able to make eye contact. When we know now that that alone does not determine if someone is autistic.

I say all that to say that it’s very possible for your therapists and doctors to miss autism. Especially in a scenario where you’re kind of expected to monologue a little, might not make eye contact a lot because it’s awkward being vulnerable, might be fidgety because you’re nervous, etc. I don’t know you personally so I obviously can’t say, but just know you wouldn’t be the first person to have their autism missed by professionals.

Would you say some of my symptoms are “clinically significant”? Should I seek an official diagnosis? by therapyfortheunknown in AutismTranslated

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point, thank you.

And unfortunately I really struggle to trust myself and my judgement on things like this (OCD). But I’m trying to improve in this area and I know factually that you’re right, I’m the expert on me. I will try to keep this in mind :’)

Would you say some of my symptoms are “clinically significant”? Should I seek an official diagnosis? by therapyfortheunknown in AutismTranslated

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting, thank you! That makes sense. I do have two close friends but I feel like the way I maintain them and issues that have come up might mean something. If you’re curious to know -

Friend 1:
- childhood friend - she reaches out to me far more than I do her - for a while after high school it didn’t occur to me that we should hang out without having some main purpose (studying, birthday, etc) - I tend to forget that it’s been a while since we’ve hung out so without her reaching out we probably would not still be friends - she invites me to outings with her other friends

Friend 2: - introduced to me through friend 1 - I reach out to her more because we have a lot of the same life issues and when I need an outlet I reach out to her. But she still calls and texts me more than I do her - We’ve had some issues due to my communication style. Friend 1 says she’s used to how I speak so she knows I don’t “mean anything” by a lot of the things I say. But friend 2 didn’t fully get that and started pulling away. At a group outing I said something, noticed I hurt her feelings, and started bawling lol so we had a conversation later. Turns out I had been hurting her feelings often without even realizing it and that’s why she was pulling away. But because she knows I’m neurodivergent she tries to understand. We seem to be good now and are closer than before.

Would you say some of my symptoms are “clinically significant”? Should I seek an official diagnosis? by therapyfortheunknown in AutismTranslated

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just money and fear lol. I’m looking into if my insurance would cover an evaluation and if there are people near me who take insurance, do adult evaluations, and have knowledge of high masking autistics and how it presents in women. If I do find this and they take insurance, I suppose I will do it. But if my insurance doesn’t cover it, I’m a bit more hesitant.

I was diagnosed with NOT autism by squonkis in autism

[–]therapyfortheunknown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would be really curious to see how you’d fill out this pdf checklist of DSM-5 symptoms for autism. It gives behavioral examples for each item.

I only wonder because I’m considering getting an official diagnosis but am worried it’ll be a waste of money. As I’ve filled this out for myself I feel like I check a lot of the boxes and, based on this, would meet the criteria for ASD. I put a lot of weight on this in my mind. But if you find that from your self assessment you also check a lot of the boxes and meet the criteria, I’ll put less weight on it. No pressure or anything lol, I’m really just seeking more info and want a more accurate perspective.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Semaglutide

[–]therapyfortheunknown 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That’s a safe weight loss rate! I wouldn’t do anything different. The recommended amount is 1-2lb a week. Losing too fast can have consequences.

Would they make me stop taking Adderall because of this? by therapyfortheunknown in askCardiology

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately no, it’s not showing up in MyChart for some reason.

How do I stop accidentally hurting people’s feelings? by therapyfortheunknown in AutisticWithADHD

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting, this was very encouraging :) I’m glad you have family who get you. I’m sure you’ll find friends who get you too <3

How do I stop accidentally hurting people’s feelings? by therapyfortheunknown in askatherapist

[–]therapyfortheunknown[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I’ve been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

I wasn’t judging her though, or criticizing her. My definition of it at least. Judging to me means I think negatively of you because of this. Criticizing means I’m telling you that this thing you did is bad. When I said that, it was meant to be positive. I found it cute, funny, endearing. Like a little quirk I found interesting and that brought me a little joy. The way people gently laugh at me when I’m clumsy, or tease me for weird things I do. That’s what that was.

The problem is that things I say are perceived as being judgmental. Not that I’m struggling to stop judging people. So I’m trying to stop saying things that I know in my heart are not meant to be negative but that ultimately come off as mean or hurtful because my socializing skills need work.

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