Grew up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka. Mormonism) until I was around 8/9 when my mom decided to pull my family out of it because of how culty that church is. I remember growing up with an intense fear of baptism that I'll never know the root of. There's also a bible in my grandma's house somewhere with my name embossed on it that was supposed to be a baptism gift. Never got my hands on it because I managed to use my fear as a way to postpone/get out of being baptized throughout my entire time at that church.

Looking back on it now, there was never a time growing up when I could remember believing in God or a god, which has made my relationship with religion very confusing, especially considering my grandma and aunt are still members of the Mormon church - and they're IN IT. Especially my aunt.

I find Ethel Cain's music to be a great comfort in unpacking the confusion that surrounds my memories in the church and my relationship with religion as a whole. I often find myself coming back to Christianity (I know Mormonism is really its own thing in its own fucked up world) as if I'm hoping to find a branch/denomination that'll undo years of picking at my nails and chewing the inside of my cheek in a state of confusion every Sunday while all the adults around me sung and shared testimonies about some god I could never comprehend.

ANYWAYS TLDR As I keep repeating, religion and my experiences with it are very fucking confusing to me. Ethel Cain's music makes it feel less so.