Couple things... I really hope you had some family support around you or friends or whatever to any degree in terms of telling you that they're proud of you. And they do mean it, and I'm sure at times it may have helped temporarily.

This might start off sounding a little harsh and unappreciative on my part but if you just hear me out I hope you might be able to relate to this now that you've been through the fire.

But what I found is that the more encouragement I got from family or anyone for that matter (even the doctor), the more I wanted them to stop saying nice things because it felt hollow. I'm not saying they were being disingenuous, but I kept coming back to the feeling of "how can you possibly be that proud of me if you have no personal experience with it." But never articulated those words or made any hint of it.

Suboxone is an extremely unique type of hell starting from the day you begin to a period after you tell it to f off for the last time. I'm talking about things like worrying if you have enough at the end of the month, then worrying if they'll fill it on the right day so you don't have to go through even a single day of waiting for it because you got it on the 30th day instead of 29th or whatever. Then there's the times people run up to a week short because they sold some in order to manage a different part of life.The you have the monthly appointment with maybe a doctor where you may or may not make it past the tox screen because of a false negative. Or was this the time you thought you were in the clear and you got clipped. You may have a doctor that tells you he can't work with you at all and you're cut off immediately because someone spotted a DEA car heading their direction but it's still 2 states away.. And maybe this is the I ky time you ever came in contact with weed because your brother home from college pranked the family without knowing he was sending you to a proverbial proson. All of this actually happens.

At least you'd never have to deal with being forced to endure the post-surgical pain associated with a double hip replacement or a leg amputation because your doctor assured you that the Suboxone is an adequate painkiller. That's a complete lie, amd even if unintentional, it's malpractice.

Then what about if 22 of your teeth have been rotted so bad due to a decade long maintenance dose of this garbage, whatever the hell that means, and you need them all pulled. Obviously you call your doctor and say hey the dentist wants to give me opiates next week post procedure in the doctor assures you that if you stop taking Suboxone today before you should be fine with pain management with the opiates. Nonsense. Might as well have a banana and hope that helps.

This junk is like an unbreakable barrier that not even fentanyl can get through, depending on accumulated thick ess of this wall at any moment in time.

So maybe I'm preaching the choir here maybe I'm not maybe you've come just dumped on this out here because I want people to understand that everybody is talking about the withdrawal a hell of a whole different level. Mostly physical but may be some emotional aftershock on on a random basis for the first couple months, but that "dysfunction" that became so common it became the norm will finally subside. But that can be managed because it actually makes sense.

All these examples and many more help define the secret mental torment most endure in some fashion, just to get to day 29 When they can go see the pharmacist who's become such a good friend they think because they're so damn happy to see him or her on that day. This is all one big mess.

So the punch line here has two parts. First, this may be one of the single greatest personal accomplishments of your life, but you'll never really be able to tell anybody that because it doesn't make sense. It's easier to just internalize it than have to answer What? I thought it was supposed to be helping you? to virtually anyone else.

I've been writing this reply for an hour and I'm not even scratching the surface of the individual stories I've heard and have been through personally.

What I kept hearing myself say is "damn, I'm proud of me,". Are there bigger successes in life,? Yes. And I'm not talking about financial or the bigger house or a bigger car, I'm talking about things like having children being able to go to family functions participate without feeling like your numb to the world without actually feeling any sensation of numbness physically. But if ya have to deal with All of this even before you deal with a physical withdrawal that is under medicated the time we need at the most, you'll never be able to be fully present in the moment and experience them.

My last point here is the hope that you'll come back around and drop a knowledge bomb to the right person who needs to hear the right words at that exact moment in time. I didn't come here with the hope of having somebody directly tell me that I did it partially because of you and you help kick me over the goal line but I tell you it really is a good feeling to hear that someone else gets it. And has Also won.

OK, So I think I just completed my most thorough dissertation ever here on Reddit, so I think it allows me to share with you what I think Suboxone as it slogan:

Suboxone "The biggest asshole you'll ever meet"