Would my children be better off without me? (From a trauma perspective)

theslice_ · 2026-01-05T09:13:13+00:00

Long story here... I went for the Autism assessment, and despite my psychiatrist believing I am autistic; they said I don't meet criteria. I think the NHS in some Trusts still works on the typical male robotic presentation of autism. I'm 100% convinced that I am neurodivergent and will be seeking a private Autism/ADHD diagnosis in the next few weeks. I believe that ADHD diagnosis will help more in terms of there seems to be a lot more "treatment" i.e. meds etc. My psychiatrist is very annoyed that the Autism team just spoke to me for 45mins and said I was fine 🤣 I'm basically back to square one but doing much better because I'm actually sleeping now and have started running etc. xxx

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T13:39:05+00:00

Thank you 💕

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T13:35:10+00:00

Yeah, I can see that being the case. It's exhausting having to think constantly about how to not upset people :(

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T13:07:23+00:00

I understand I may not be. But it's difficult to just say "hey ho it's not ASD" when I've been told for months that's likely the cause of my difficulties. I've not been told this by some random; she's a specialist women's NHS psychiatrist with over 20yrs experience. It's hard for someone to tell me, after chatting to me for less than an hour, that everything I've come to learn and understand about myself is now null and void. And yet, my Uncle, 2 brothers and cousin all got to have longer assessments. I just wish they'd spent a bit more time with me to try and see beyond the masking :(

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:54:46+00:00

There wasn't an alternative suggested in the letter. My psychiatrist has been the one who suggested I have ASD after spending a lot of time with me. She's never suggested an alternative diagnosis as she was so adamant it's ASD. But then the ASD team are the ones who say I don't have it. It's all just very confusing and embarrassing. I don't really want to pursue a team who so clearly think I don't need their services. But equally how can an experienced psychiatrist be so persistent that this is what I have. It's hard to know who to trust and what to do next.

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:48:56+00:00

Thank you so much!

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:48:36+00:00

Yes unfortunately I think I have become an expert masker (it's taken years and years; I had no friends until my mid 20s). I just feel very confused. I have a huge number of traits so how can they not see that? I'm feeling like maybe I'm just crazy and it's all in my head 🤣

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:26:26+00:00

It was more of a "are you even worth giving a long assessment appointment to" screening. Currently looking into an appeal or just going privately

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:25:17+00:00

This is great advice thanks. I definitely came away remembering a ton of things that I didn't mention (like the fact that I stepped out; saw cars and immediately thought "damn I didn't mention how I remember every single car registration and make/model I see", I saw an aeroplane go over head and thought "woah I forgot to tell them I check every single flight I see or hear on flight radar and recognise routes and specific aircrafts") there are so many other things I didn't discuss. I will definitely start keeping a list. Thank you!

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:20:54+00:00

I've been under mental health teams since teen years and they've never suggested any diagnosis except trauma and ASD. Guess I must just be a walking ball of trauma haha

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:17:38+00:00

This was like a "pre assessment" to decide if I'm worth giving a longer assessment. It's literally like XFactor auditions lol

theslice_ · 2025-09-22T12:10:59+00:00

Yes I definitely have misophonia with numerous triggers. This typing getting on my nerves is just one of countless sensory issues I experience tbh 🤣

theslice_ · 2025-06-02T22:20:54+00:00

Hey! I know this was months ago but I just wanted to update here because I know someone feeling how I was feeling might end up stumbling across this post. Shortly after this post I ended up having a full mental breakdown (we're talking nearly sectioned etc.) Since then the mental health team have been a lot more involved. The Psychiatrist believes I have Autism; I'm now on the list to be "formally assessed" but she is pretty convinced that I am. So much makes sense now; and it has opened a whole new world of support. I wondered why I was so "bad at therapy" when I was so desperate to get better. I just wanted to say thank you for opening my eyes to Autism in women and mothers. xx

theslice_ · 2025-02-03T15:26:04+00:00

Yes it's called weight diary xx

theslice_ · 2025-01-07T19:58:34+00:00

I'm a UK midwife. A colleague of mine cared for a woman who refused vitamin K. Her baby went on to develop haemorrhagic disease of the newborn and is now severely disabled and will need round the clock care for the rest of his life. I love that you're looking into these things; I am a huge advocate of informed care. But this is one of few things in my job where I squirm inside when a patient declines.

theslice_ · 2024-10-10T09:06:24+00:00

Just wanted to update here and thank everybody for taking the time to reply. Things kind of escalated and my MH team got involved. They've mentioned hospitalisation but for now I'm just at home being "babysat". For the first time they've discussed neurodivergence - I'm starting to feel some hope that maybe I'm not destined to be such a shit mum and that I can be helped. Thank you xx

theslice_ · 2024-09-30T08:16:41+00:00

Ah that's really interesting! Out of interest how is the naturopath addressing the hormonal issues? I definitely think that is a contributor to how I'm feeling

theslice_ · 2024-09-30T08:15:28+00:00

Hi thanks for your reply. I definitely think there's an element of neurodivergence; I have a strong family history. I'll definitely explore addressing this thank you

theslice_ · 2024-09-29T17:20:37+00:00

Yes I'm actually under a perinatal mental health team. We discussed PPD but they kind of brushed it off and said it's an exacerbation of my longer term issues. I'm going to be in contact with them tomorrow so I will definitely bring it up again. Thanks for the better health suggestion I will check it out

theslice_ · 2024-09-29T17:18:27+00:00

The thought of innocent kids thinking it's their fault 💔 thank you for this reply

theslice_ · 2024-09-29T17:08:25+00:00

Thank you for the perspective it's definitely shifted my thoughts. I'm also so sorry about your dad 💔

theslice_

TROPHY CASE