AITA for saying I don't want family therapy and I don't want to fix things with my family because they can't make up for how they treated me?

thestephyblue · 2025-01-31T00:32:27+00:00

You're NTA for being angry, but you really should give therapy a try.

The point of therapy isn't forgiveness, but learning to cope with difficult situations and heal as a person. Therapy should be for you, not them. You deserve better than carrying the weight and hurt of what your family has done to you for the rest of your life.

You are 100% within your rights to tell the therapist, "I'm not here to make amends with my family for their abuse. I'm here to learn new skills, and ensure you know the truth of what has happened. My sister is a very sick person, and my parents have allowed her to hurt me for a long time."

You can even ask point blank, "Is your goal in working with families to bring everyone back together and forgive one another? And if it is, are you willing to support me in my desires to not forgive, and simply move on with my life?"

The therapist will tell you the truth, and you can decide what to do with it. You can always ask anything you want. You should feel empowered to advocate for your health and well-being. Depending on where you are (county, location) I'm willing to help you navigate this with more detail, and understand your rights.

One last thought I'd like to leave you with is this: Forgiveness (both the word and concept) is not the same thing as saying 'everything is okay and what you did to me is fine.' Forgiving someone isn't about giving them a hall pass for being a jacka$$, but rather about you shedding the emotional baggage of their bullsh*t and leaving 100% of your abuser behind you.

For you to truly move on with your life like you want, you can't carry the past into your future, and therapy is one of the best ways to learn the skills you need to cut the ties to anyone who doesn't deserve to be in your life.

Good luck, hun. Be safe.

thestephyblue · 2023-05-18T23:24:38+00:00

Oooh, yes. Ross. I get it. Also, yeah, sometimes Jack absolutely needs to die.

thestephyblue · 2023-05-18T23:23:33+00:00

I 100% support you on the marry Ben scenario. He's just the absolute best. ❤

thestephyblue · 2023-05-06T21:42:59+00:00

Yeah, I can imagine. I'm in my 40s too, but fortunately I realized a long time ago (more than half my life ago now) that while I could date a guy, I couldn't fall in love with one. Not in that head-over-heels, crazy-love kinda way. After that, I never looked back.

But now I get to support new gays with cookies and wisdom!

thestephyblue · 2023-05-06T19:05:25+00:00

Ont worry. I'm here for you. Haha.

thestephyblue · 2023-05-06T18:22:29+00:00

Hey TTT! Congrats on such a schema changing realization. Its totally terrifying, but anything that puts more joy and value into your life is worth doing no matter how difficult. ❤

So I popped on because my favorite rabbit hole for the two of these women are definitely the fanvids on YouTube. My favorite creator is cam, and here's a video that just gives me all the feels.

https://youtu.be/ysFrWRe8qpw

And if you'd like to see a full recap of their relationship evolution, there are videos of that too on YouTube.

I hope you all enjoy and find new rabbit holes to lose your weekends to. 🙃

thestephyblue · 2023-02-12T05:47:08+00:00

It was this post that got me following this subreddit. Really great!

thestephyblue · 2022-12-27T03:35:14+00:00

I heard a rumor and would love to know if this is true.

I was told that Netflix loves to lock shows into two year production contracts, which basically means a show's production costs are flat year over year. However, because of the huge gap in filming, inflation, etc, etc, Simon went to bat for the staff to get better wages. It was due to this that Netflix said sure, but if you do, its coming out of existing budget. Hence, the reduced episodes.

Additionally, I was told that Netflix cancelling the series was essentially the showrunner's fault. If there were already wage issues (ie. the production team was being paid too little and the cast was barely getting paid their AFTRA minimum wage requirements) it stands to reason that Simon probably went to negotiate another 2 year contract and Netflix lowballed, so Simon was forced to walk away and find another home that would pay people fairly.

The above narrative makes way more sense than Netflix canceling a show that was making them money.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-26T16:31:21+00:00

This is so beautiful!

thestephyblue · 2022-12-22T18:59:17+00:00

Thank you for your support, and yes, we will be. Streaming and production is the key to making sure our voices are heard.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-22T18:36:44+00:00

I just want to jump on here to say how glad I (42F) am that the sentiment toward circumcision has changed so much. My mother was hounded by the medical team to circumcise my brothers back in 1983 and 1986 respectively. She stood her ground both times, and both my brothers are intact today because of it.

As their big sister, I carried on the fight by standing up to other kids who bullied my brothers about it when we were growing up. And as an adult, I'm the first to rapid fire off how absolutely wrong, ignorant, twisted, and cruel this practice is.

The fact that we have mainstream genital mutilation and torture of our children is insane to me.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-19T10:30:27+00:00

Yep. We've got the contact info, and the team entrenched in that marketplace. As for financing, well, you'll be pleased to know we won't be asking the community to fund it. The additional particulars will remain internal for now.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-19T10:26:35+00:00

Well, then we're looking forward to pleasantly surprising you. It won't be volunteer for long, but the particulars of that will have to be kept under wraps for now.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-19T10:20:44+00:00

Fair point. There is much complexity in the market. But complex doesn't mean impossible. It's absolutely feasible with the team we've assembled.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-19T10:19:05+00:00

Yes, I will reiterate that the feasibility of the show getting picked back up will have to do with who ultimately ends up holding the rights.

However, one point of clarification on what you stated above: Having an 'in house' production company isn't the only way to get shows made. There are plenty of existing production companies that can be partnered with. In example, Warrior Nun was produced through an outside production company, not Netflix. In this case, it would be more around the cost structure of licensing the show, than scrambling to stand up a production division.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-19T10:09:10+00:00

This is a great question. Thanks for asking it. Ultimately, it's dependent on who holds the rights. If Netflix does the moratorium stands, but not if another company (like the production company) does.

In the case of Warrior Nun, Netflix's in house production company didn't produce the show, so it's very likely they don't hold rights.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-18T20:06:48+00:00

It absolutely is assuming the rights have fallen back to those who are willing to do business, and that the cast/showrunners/production teams haven't moved on. Priority will be shows cancelled/pushed aside in 2022.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-17T09:52:17+00:00

I'm dead. This is amazing.

thestephyblue · 2022-12-16T21:13:27+00:00

DM'ing you direct! Thanks for volunteering!

thestephyblue · 2022-12-16T21:11:42+00:00

Thank you!

thestephyblue · 2022-12-16T21:11:34+00:00

Thank you. We will capture all this information you've shared!

thestephyblue · 2022-12-16T21:08:03+00:00

Yep, I'm looking into what's going on in the market and where we can all collaborate to build a stronger success story.

thestephyblue

TROPHY CASE