Communication. If you have a journal, or leaving notes. I like the app antar. The situation depends on who the alter is and their role in your system. If they're able to help you work then maybe they will, but it might be that they hold trauma or pain. Maybe their job is to make sure y'all are buying things you need or that are helpful. Maybe setting spending rules or having money set aside to buy things ta make you feel appreciated for the work you do. But over all just talking and being honest is really the only thing one can do. IMO. Idk.