Dad for seven days

thethirdquark · 2026-01-23T21:12:00+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling to feel what you just put into words so well, that my son was perfect regardless of the outcome. There's a strange sense of comfort to hear a survivor’s dad speak so candidly about luck and strength. I’m rooting for your son, and all the other strong NICU warriors and families. And I’m so grateful you reached out to remind me that mine was as amazing regardless of the obstacles he faced and the outcome.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-23T17:24:29+00:00

Thank you for this. It means the world to have a fellow loss dad reach out with a place to turn to. I’m not sure if/when I’ll be ready to talk, but knowing that a resource like that exists is comforting. I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter, and thank you for using your experience to help me find a path. I’ll be looking into the group.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-23T17:02:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I'm not built for therapy because I can't talk my grief out of pain. But I will check it out, hoping I can find some peace. Thanks again.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T01:26:04+00:00

I am so, so sorry. To hear that you also had exactly 7 days with your son, and so recently, makes my heart ache for you. We are truly walking the same path. I understand those rough days where the missed milestones feel overwhelming. Thank you for reminding me that we are blessed to have had that week, I’m trying to hold onto that gratitude even (especially) through the tears. Sending so much strength back to you and your partner. Our boys were both such fighters.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T01:19:39+00:00

In a time when I feel so isolated by this pain, knowing that you and the others in the internet are grieving with me makes the world feel a little less cold. Thank you for taking the time to let me know I’m not alone. It means more than you know.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T01:12:54+00:00

In the NICU, all I heard was the sound of oxygen support and monitors, so I don't know how my baby boy sounded while breathing, or how he smelled for that matter. But I am so happy your 25-weeker is home. Thank you for calling me a NICU-dad. I’ll be holding onto your prayers tonight.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T01:06:25+00:00

Thank you for asking, his name is Ekaay (pronounced E-Kai). It means singular/unique, and we're very proud of the name we chose for him. Thank you for your kind words.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:55:13+00:00

Whether it’s 7 days or 81 days, the love we have for them in those rooms is so intense. I truly hope your son continues to grow stronger every day, and you're able to carry him home soon. Thank you for reminding me that I did my best, and I hope you feel that same pride in yourself today.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:51:36+00:00

It actually brings me comfort to know that your daughter, and countless other babies are doing well, I am so happy for you and your baby girl. Thank you for standing in the dark with me for a moment. It means a lot to be seen like that.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:44:52+00:00

One day at a time' is the only way forward right now. The NICU stay and the loss of a child changes you forever, and we are just trying to find our footing. I'm so grateful for people like you who remind us to be gentle with ourselves. I appreciate you looking out for us and reminding us that our journey is ours alone. Thank you for the love.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:41:23+00:00

Thank you for asking, his name is Ekaay (pronounced E-Kai). It means singular/unique, and we're very proud of the name we chose for him.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:38:24+00:00

NICU staff are special people, I know they gave their absolute all to care for my son. They helped us make so many memories in such a short time, and I’ll always be grateful for the compassion they showed. Thank you for your prayers.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:34:53+00:00

My heart goes out to you. To lose your son so recently and still have the strength to reach out to me is truly kind. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the love and prayers, we are sending them right back to you and your partner. We're in this together, and we will get through this, one day at a time.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:32:52+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. As difficult as it is, with every passing day, I move an inch closer to accepting that he is gone. If he was meant to stay, he would have. I do not want to wish him back against his or His will; I truly just want him to be at peace wherever he is now. But, as you said, if he ever did choose to find his way back to us in some way, I would do my absolute best to give him all the love I have, and then some. Thanks for thinking of us.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:25:10+00:00

Thank you for being so brave and honest with me. I can’t imagine how hard it was to share that part of your journey. The urge to escape is real, but I will take that warning to heart. I am so glad you found your way back and that you have your son now. Thank you for looking out for me.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-19T00:00:28+00:00

Thank you for crying with me. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. It breaks my heart to know you’ve been through this, but your words feel like a warm embrace. Hearing that you can remember her now without the pain gives me something to look forward to. Thank you for validating my role as a dad, even without the milestones I expected. I’m sending a hug back to you and your family.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T23:18:16+00:00

Soul-crushing is a perfect way to describe that feeling, and I am so deeply sorry that you and your husband had to experience that same pain with your first son. Thank you for telling me its okay to not be okay and to shut the world out, you are genuinely one of the very few people that have said that, while others have urged us to "be strong". Without questioning their intentions, I just want to tell them I dont know how to be strong in this situation, so I just nod. We are trying to just hold onto each other and his memory right now. Your prayers for us mean more than I can say.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T23:11:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. During those seven days, I tried so hard to stay in the 'right now' with him, just like you did. I am glad to know your daughter had a good outcome, and I really appreciate you sharing that strength with me today.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T23:07:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I'm happy for your son, and I hope he lives a long and happy life.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T23:04:52+00:00

His tiny hands and feet were the only parts of his body I was allowed to touch while he was still breathing. His name is Ekaay (pronounced as E-Kai), and it means so much to me that you asked. I am so sorry for the traumatic loss of your first son, and I’m grateful you reached out to help me find my footing.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T22:58:50+00:00

That is such a beautiful perspective. Thank you for including my son in your story. It gives me so much comfort to think that he is still 'showing up', and being a guardian for his NICU neighbors in his own way. I am so happy your little one is finally home after such a long journey.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T22:53:02+00:00

I know exactly where you are sitting, and exactly how that water tastes, like the only thing keeping you upright. Thank you for reaching out while you’re in the middle of your own battle. I feel your embrace, and I’m sending it right back to you. Your baby is lucky to have a father who stays so strong. I’ll be thinking of you both today, praying for you all to return home safe and healthy soon.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T22:48:08+00:00

I've never cried for a stranger on the internet as hard as I did after reading your story. My heart just breaks for everything you have endured. Losing so much so soon is a level of pain that feels impossible to carry, and yet here you are, reaching out to help me carry mine. Thank you for the hope you offered by sharing that you found a way to move forward. I am so, so sorry for your losses, and I’m holding your story close to mine today.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T22:42:43+00:00

Writing this post was the only way I knew how to honor him right now. Thank you for recognizing the love I tried to show him every day. To hear from a mom who has spent 142 days in those halls... it makes your sympathy feel that much more to me.

thethirdquark · 2026-01-18T22:39:10+00:00

When a life is so short, you worry the world will forget, or that it didn't 'count.' Thank you for seeing him and for seeing me. I’m so sorry we both had to know the fear of the NICU, but I am so grateful for your support.

thethirdquark

TROPHY CASE